Food Police...at work.

[snugasabug]

I thought when you left school you didn't have to deal with mean girls anymore!

Sorry you have to go through that every lunch time. Would I be right in saying if you bought chocolate and chips for lunch they would say you shouldn't be eating it?

Hahaha!  OP here - they probably wouldn't say a word....to me! They would likely talk about it behind my back.  LOL I should do that, just for kicks and giggles. Just to see their reaction and not really eat it. I'll lay it all out, and excuse myself to make a phone call or something.  

[snugasabug]

OP here

Thanks for giving me some new focus and phrases to use.  I feel prepared!

I think you have hit the nail on the head. They are saying these things because it's more about their food issue and not mine.

One of my offending coworkers (who does not drink coffee) decided that the coffee cream will now be 0% skim milk.  She was picking up the groceries and decided it was time to "make the change" as she called it.

 I don't drink coffee, but I will silently be smiling as that one plays itself out between my coworkers.  I don't think it will be pretty.

[Free Range Hippy Chick]

 "You ALWAYS eat healthy."

My brother's response to this sort of blindingly obvious and none-of-your-business remark is 'They tell me Mafeking has been relieved'. He says it shuts down the conversation beautifully - half the time because it conveys 'what you're saying is such old news that I can't believe you said it' and the other half because the listener has absolutely no idea what he's saying at all.

[Venus193]

As this seems to be a continuing problem, I would get blunt and tell them "My health is not up for discussion. You are not my doctor and it is not your business. Please refrain from commenting on it in the future."

If it continues, I'd consider taking this to your HR department, or somewhere farther up the chain.

This.   And this is the consequence of unchecked bullying behavior in children.

[audrey1962]

Don't engage them any more. Just smile wanely or nod. They're not really asking a question, so there's nothing to reply to. I wouldn't bother with any type of witty reply as they obviously aren't picking up on it. So just stop talking to them when they bring it up and only respond to topics you want to discuss (kids, movies, pets, the weekend, whatever).

[HotMango]

"You're so little! I bet you can eat anything you want and never gain weight, right?" I always hate the snarky tone of voice they say it in too like you shouldn't be concerned with healthy food options if you're at a healthy weight (in fact, my doctor says I'm not underweight).

"Are you kidding me? No way!" They always look so crest fallen when this is my honest answer.

I've found assumptions about body types and eating habits say much more about the behaviors of those that would assume rather than the "target."

[Minmom3]

"Smirk.  I'll bet you were fun in junior high!"

[SadieBaby]

I would probably try to be the last one arriving in the lunch room.  When I came in, I would hold up my lunch and say "Attention everyone!  Today I have spinach, lettuce, apple slices and pecans, all coated in a light strawberry vinaigrette.  Oh, and an iced tea.  Alice, I hope you won't be appalled at the nuts in the salad.  Jane, no grapes today, so you needn't examine the bowl!.  Now, since we've all had a good look at my lunch, perhaps we can move on to more interesting topics."

I would do this every day until they got so sick of it they would tell me to shut up and sit down the minute I walked in!

[snugasabug]

I would probably try to be the last one arriving in the lunch room.  When I came in, I would hold up my lunch and say "Attention everyone!  Today I have spinach, lettuce, apple slices and pecans, all coated in a light strawberry vinaigrette.  Oh, and an iced tea.  Alice, I hope you won't be appalled at the nuts in the salad.  Jane, no grapes today, so you needn't examine the bowl!.  Now, since we've all had a good look at my lunch, perhaps we can move on to more interesting topics."

I would do this every day until they got so sick of it they would tell me to shut up and sit down the minute I walked in!

I LOVE IT!  LOL!

[Piratelvr1121]

"You're so little! I bet you can eat anything you want and never gain weight, right?" I always hate the snarky tone of voice they say it in too like you shouldn't be concerned with healthy food options if you're at a healthy weight (in fact, my doctor says I'm not underweight).

"Are you kidding me? No way!" They always look so crest fallen when this is my honest answer.

I've found assumptions about body types and eating habits say much more about the behaviors of those that would assume rather than the "target."

I'm not skinny, but I am short and not especially curvy, either.  I wish my being slender meant no comments from the food police but I still got them.   Along the lines of "You shouldn't eat that, you'll lose your girlish figure!" Or "Just cause you're thin doesn't mean you shouldn't eat healthy!" This said while eating a chicken pot pie.  Which didn't exactly strike me as unhealthy as it has meat and veggies in it, some dairy and some grains. Balanced meal! LOL!

I think it is about the other person though as the women getting on me about those things were slender women themselves who always whined about being "Fat" and how middle age was taking it's toll on them, weight wise.  I doubt they could have weighed much more than I did and they were both taller than me.

[greencat]

I think you've passed the point where you should take this up with HR.  Your coworkers are being extremely unprofessional and creating a hostile work environment - since you can't leave the work location for lunch.

[RooRoo]

I reply with "I'm always trying to eat healthy...not easy sometimes."  If I add the "So kind of you to take an interest" ...

Ah. Here's part of the problem. If you give an explanation, then add the phrase, it sounds as if you're actually thanking them for taking an interest - and in that case, it does sound stilted.

Next time someone asks you an overly personal question, respond with the phrase, in a cold (not friendly) tone. It helps if your facial expression says, "I can't believe you asked me that!"

No explanations, no excuses! 

[BC12]

Maybe try, "Yeah, I don't want to talk about it. I get a lot of comments on my lunches and it makes me uncomfortable to have to explain myself. Let's talk about something else." Then say nothing until they come up with a new subject and enjoy the awkward silence as they realize they've offended you. If they say, "Oh, I'm really sorry, it's just that I thought it was so strange that blah blah blah" and proceed to try to explain themselves to you, interrupt them and firmly say, "Lucy. You are still talking about it. Let's move on, please." Get up and walk away if you have to.

I think you need to really make it clear to them. You've done all you can to try to get them to gently take a hint and it's not working. If it continues after you've plainly told them you don't want to talk about it, then they will have crossed the line from being nosy and possibly oblivious to straight up bullying you.

Keep a record of who says what and the dates. Also mark down the dates of when you notified each of these people that they were making you uncomfortable with their personal questions about your dietary choices. If they don't stop, you should definitely take this to HR to complain.

Actually, Lucy's comments on your weight alone and her questions about your medical history could be reported to HR immediately, as those are absolutely unacceptable topics of discussion that can create a hostile work environment.

It's absolutely nuts to me that you have not one, but several of these people in your office who are so extremely interested in your lunch that they regularly comment on it. I think silence/humorous rebuttals on your part would be far too kind a consequence for these people, and you shouldn't have to put yourself out any longer to accommodate their rudeness. Don't put up with it. It's work, not a social gathering with friends and acquaintances that you have to try to get along with.


Weeee, long post. Sorry for that.

[s]

I agee with previous posters that you should report this to HR, especially the comment about your weight!

Also, is there another area you can eat at alone away from these people?  Or if you can't, what about wearing headphones and listening to music or an audio book and ignoring everyone?  I know everyone says to just ignore it but if you can hear it then it still makes it difficult.  If you have headphones and show that you are not willing to be engaged at all plus you obviously won't hear them then maybe that would help?

[hobish]

snugasabug, i am sorry you have to go through that. We talk about food in my office a lot; but most of it is in the way of friendly banter, plus we have 2 diabetic ladies who sit near each other, and we all share recipes and what not. I am glad, though, that you posted this because i can use some of this, too. There was a comment made a week or so ago about monitoring each other and keeping us all on a healthy diet ... my response was something i would be embarassed to post here. Even after all this EHell training my grace under pressure just completely failed. I will think of this thread next time it comes up.