Etiquette School is in session! > "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

Using With Mother of Bride

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Delia DeLyons:
I am a bridesmaid for one of my best friends.  We (the bridal party) held her shower over Memorial Day weekend.  Bride lives 4+ hours from her hometown (where shower was held with majority of guests as her female relatives). We bridesmaids are invited to a subsequent shower being held by Bride's coworkers/friends in her current town.  3 of the 6 of the bridal party are going, to include myself, the Maid of Honor, and another friend (A).  Since it is such a long trip, and in a great winery town, my boyfriend (who is good friends with both bride and groom) is coming along. We are driving up the day before the shower (Friday), and are staying (in a hotel) until Sunday (our 1 yr anniversary :-) )

Maid of Honor (MOH) and other Friend (A), are not driving up until Saturday, departing hometown @ 8am to arrive in time for shower @ 1pm.  Mother of Bride (MOB) just texted me to ask if I would be joining she and the shower's hostesses for decorating set up Saturday morning @ 9am.

My problem with this is that (1.) I am an invited guest to the party (2.) MOB is not a hostess or coordinator of this party (3.) I have taken exhaustive roles in coordinating/executing/financing a  Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party already. (4.) MOH and A won't even be arriving until just before shower begins (hopefully!) and will not be expected to do any set up.

So, I know I'm starting to sound like a whine bag (as my boyfriend would say) but dagnabbit, I don't want to roped into yet more duties for a party hosted by people I haven't even met before (I have good reason to assume that they never even suggested we the bridal party or the MOB assist with set up... MOB just likes to have say in everything, and likely just insisted) . Although, I will add that I'll be more than happy to stay after to help clean up. So, after having a mini-brain explosion at the idea of having to nearly host yet another shower, I stopped, thought, and replied: "Actually, BF and I have plans for that morning. I'll be @ Bride's house around 12 to join she, MOH and A in ridng to party. Looking forward to it!"  I didn't mention our plans are of the snuggly, sleep-in variety. :-)   

MINOR UPDATE:  MOB replied, "OK, we'll talk Friday night." So, I may need to reinforce that it "won't be possible", and anticipate she may inquire what my plans are with BF that will keep me from helping with set up.  I'm not going to sweat over it too much though... I think it could easily be answered with a loving glance towards BF (who she has known since he was a kid) and say "Oh..just...stuff."  ;-)  She'll likely do a dramatic eyeroll and respond "Sorry I asked!"  But hey, it's our anniversary weekend, too, here.  I am pleased to have been thought of for an invite to the shower, but never until this moment was I made aware of any strings attched to that invite (which was issued back in May).

Edited to put all the paragraphs into one post. -Ticia-

BeagleMommy:
Good for you for not giving an excuse.  Plans are plans.  If she presses you for details you can just say "It just won't be possible.  See you at 12:00.".

Delia DeLyons:
Thanks so much Ticia! And thank you, too, BeagleMommy :-) Should be a nice weekend!!!!

TheVapors:
Keep rolling out that "It won't be possible"! Great job with it so far. I'm sure you'll have a grand weekend ^^

CrazyDaffodilLady:

--- Quote from: Delia DeLyons on June 27, 2012, 07:55:34 AM --- . . .
MOB replied, "OK, we'll talk Friday night." So, I may need to reinforce that it "won't be possible", and anticipate she may inquire what my plans are with BF that will keep me from helping with set up. . . .
--- End quote ---
Why does she think you'll talk Friday night?  If she's planning to call you, you don't need to answer.  You forgot to charge your cell phone or something.

Surely no one would be so clueless as to ask what plans you and BF have for Saturday morning.  But just in case, I suggest just saying that you're celebrating your anniversary, 

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