Author Topic: To Give, or Not to Give...  (Read 15166 times)

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Sharnita

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Re: To Give, or Not to Give...
« Reply #75 on: July 07, 2012, 08:16:19 PM »
The thing that really bugs me, though, is that if they meant so much to him he should have held on to them.

He was 12 years old when they were given to you. Honestly, at 12, I would have given away any number of family heirlooms, not realizing the history attached. I don't think its fair that you are blaming him for something he did as an adolescent.

You don't like your uncle, that is clear. If you don't want to give the toyd back, then don't. But please, don't lay all the blame on him for something he did when he was 12.

I tend to agree with this as well. 

still in va

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Re: To Give, or Not to Give...
« Reply #76 on: July 07, 2012, 08:31:46 PM »
The thing that really bugs me, though, is that if they meant so much to him he should have held on to them.

He was 12 years old when they were given to you. Honestly, at 12, I would have given away any number of family heirlooms, not realizing the history attached. I don't think its fair that you are blaming him for something he did as an adolescent.

You don't like your uncle, that is clear. If you don't want to give the toyd back, then don't. But please, don't lay all the blame on him for something he did when he was 12.

I tend to agree with this as well.

and i will repeat the point that i made in reply #74.  it's equally clear that Uncle dear doesn't like the OP either.  for all we know, he very well might have been compelled to give the toys to the OP.  the OP was so young that she had no responsibility in that decision.  that's on Uncle's mama and OP's mama.  all the OP knows is that she was given the toys, not loaned them. 

since they are both now adults, there was a better way for the request to be made.  and once someone tells me "you do what i want or there's going to be a fight"?  yeah, sorry, that takes away the "i was forced to give you my toys" points.  he's an adult.  with children of his own.  i would sincerely hope he would learn how to express his thoughts better than to threaten a fight if the OP does not comply with his wishes.

Shoo

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Re: To Give, or Not to Give...
« Reply #77 on: July 07, 2012, 10:18:51 PM »
The thing that really bugs me, though, is that if they meant so much to him he should have held on to them.

He was 12 years old when they were given to you. Honestly, at 12, I would have given away any number of family heirlooms, not realizing the history attached. I don't think its fair that you are blaming him for something he did as an adolescent.

You don't like your uncle, that is clear. If you don't want to give the toyd back, then don't. But please, don't lay all the blame on him for something he did when he was 12.

I tend to agree with this as well. 

Same here.

Also, you keep saying your uncle gave the toys to you as a gift.  Were the toys wrapped up and presented to you for your birthday or Christmas or something?  Or did you just end up with them.  I can see a 12 year old's mother going through his stuff and deciding he doesn't need something anymore and she passed it along.  Or, maybe he was cleaning his room one day and made room for something new by passing the toys on to you.  These two scenarios don't scream "gift" to me.

The point I'm making is that these toys could very well have, at one time, meant as much (or more) to him as you say they do to you.  But I have to say I can't for the life of me figure out why these toys mean so much to you.  They're just TOYS, and not even very special ones at that.

KenveeB

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Re: To Give, or Not to Give...
« Reply #78 on: July 07, 2012, 10:49:09 PM »
I'm with Shoo on this one.

I can see that your uncle is a big meanie but was this battle so important to you that you couldn't give him back a toy that once belonged to him?  A toy that you don't hold any sentimental value for? A toy that probably contains lead and wouldn't pass today's standards? 

IMO, this was a battle not worth fighting.  And what's the outcome?  Now you look like the big meanie by withholding a toy that you have no need for.  (and holds no sentimental valule) While for uncle, this was his toy and he wanted his children to play with them.  There's value in that.

To me, it sounds like a power play.  On both ends.

OP has said several times that the toys did and do have sentimental value to her, so I'm not sure why this keeps getting brought up.

Wordgeek

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Re: To Give, or Not to Give...
« Reply #79 on: July 07, 2012, 11:00:09 PM »
Useful discussion has taken a back seat to nitpicking, so thread closed.