General Etiquette > Family and Children

Handling MIL's monologues; graceful interruptions? Other ideas?

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weeblewobble:
She's doing handouts?  Is she performing the Festivus Airing of Grievances?

"On Page 9, you will find a list of the ways you have disappointed me this year?"

GrammarNerd:
When you brought it up before and she ignored you, were there consequences for her to continue doing this?  If there were, it seems as though they need to be stronger.

I'd give her another warning, just like you did the other time. She needs to realize and be told that close involvement goes both ways....you can't have close involvement with her if she never listens to what you say. 

I might try telling her that if she's not interested in having a two-way conversation with the other people in attendance, then she might as well just stay home and tape her monologues (rants?) and put them on youtube.  If she won't listen and make some--any--sort of effort, then follow through with those consequences.

Ohjustlovely:
Hi. Stepping in from the shadows.

Wow. Sounds like she was a preacher or dictator in a previous life. Actually sounds like some people I used to know. Once you let them start, there's no stopping them.

I wonder whether you introduce a three minute egg time, like the mini sand-clock from many board games. Announce at the dinner table, "We have a new rule, each person gets 6 minutes (two turnings of the sand clock) and then it's time for someone else to talk." Ask for a show of hands vote. You and your husband outvote her, sorry.

When my conversational dictator started droning in the car, I would look at the clock in the car and interrupt with either turning on the radio and changing the subject. Rude? Oh I'm sorry ... I was falling asleep at the wheel...

At other occasions, well I was out of luck.

 

SoCalVal:
Well, would it be rude that if she insists on handouts and an event that includes more than you, DH and her, you have an agenda you hand out yourselves (complete with time allotments)?  >:D

Magnet:
Ahh, the Great Pontificator.  I feel your pain, as there is one in DH's family.  One time, I interrupted the seemingly endless monologue only to be told I was rude.  I replied that if I wanted a lecture, I would take a college course.  Not only was I retaliatory rude, it did not stop the lecture.  I don't know the answer, but I am interested in hearing the replies.

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