General Etiquette > Family and Children
P/A Inlaws
Tagy:
When I first met my inlaws, I wanted them to like me but by the time DH and I were married I realized that under their "Leave it to Beaver-like" exterior FIL was a bully, MIL was a master manipulator and they were both control freaks to the nth degree.
It's been years since they've done anything blatently rude to be, but every single time we see them they (MIL especially) make snide comments to me that are not quite rude enough for me to confront them about it. Hence, my armchair diagnosis of passive/aggressive behavior!
This stream of comments bothers me and so I really dislike being around them. To me, it's like being nicked a thousand times with a razor blade (oops, drama queen alert! sorry...) DH doesn't (or won't?) understand why this is so. He maintains that it's been years since they've been overtly nasty to me and I should just learn to let bygones be bygones. When I repeat things they've said, he doesn't think they're a big deal, "that's just mom and dad".
I've been dealing with this for 12 years, and enough is enough. Can anyone please help me to figure out how I should handle this? Does the fault lie with the ILs? With DH? With me?
I'm afraid this post is really fractured. It's hard to pack years of frustrations into one post, but I hope I'm making at least some sense.
Thank you :-\
Edited because I went berserk with the italics
ZipTheWonder:
Can you give some examples? :)
Clara Bow:
How have you been married to my brother in law for twelve years without me knowing about you!!?? I feel your pain. Even though my father in law and stepmother in law have decided that they loooovvvve me I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. I've been kicked one too many times....
Tagy:
Hi Zip, thanks for replying!
The most recent example is they were visiting when I came home from work a few days before New Years. I took a position last year as a medical practice administrator and when I walked in the door wearing my suit and heels, MIL piped up, "Here comes the secretary!"
I would like to add that I mean no offense to secretaries. I have wonderful secretaries in the practice and I firmly believe the place would fall down without them. But I am not a secretary, and MIL knows this darn well.
Those are the kind of comments she makes. Kind of underhanded and hard to reply to.
ZipTheWonder:
In that specific situation, he's a crack-up, he's hilarious, he's Jerry-stinkin-Seinfeld:
"What a character you are, FIL! I left the secretaries at the office and you know it! You card, you! Hahahah!"
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
Go to full version