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I can't just 'get over it' its not over yet!Sm Update p75

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MrsVandy:
Its been a while since I posted about any thing, but I could really use Ehellions wisdom for this one. A while back I posted about a potential awkward situation for the BG http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=111642.msg2604580#msg2604580
So NG (Nasty Girl) and friend have stayed together. In fact they are moving in together. She has recently been whining about how 'She doesn't want to cause drama but she wishes that the was invited to things.' Friend hasn't a brought her to any events besides New Years due to she and I not getting along. However now that they are more serious NG has made it clear that she wishes to be included.

Honestly it wouldn't be an issue if she had stop saying awful things about me or better yet apologized, but she hasn't.
Last week one of my DH new coworkers was talking to him and DH mentioned who his wife was and the new coworker told him that he had heard awful things about me form NG just last week.

I'm sick and tired of these rumours and childish drama designed to make me look like the bad guy. The guys have talked it out and friend knows why I don't like her and as a result doesn't a bring her around.
I have explained to friends from my circle as to why I don't like her, but they don't see why I won't just get over it, they seem to think that for the greater good and for the sake of peace I should just suck it up and let it go.
But I can't since she is still saying these nasty things about me to anyone who will listen. Its one thing to defend my self to strangers but quite another to defend my self to friends.

I think its time I confronted her about it. I would do it over facebook message so she couldn't misconstrue my words, plus its the only way I could really get a hold of her with out causing a public spectacle. So what I would like to know is what is the most polite phrasing I could use. I don't mind being blunt, but I don't want to be rude or mean.

Also DH is about ready to cut the whole crowd off, but I'm hoping it won't come to that.

Iris:
So, wait, she is going around saying nasty things about you right NOW as well as the stealing and rumour starting in the past and your friends want you to suck it up for the sake of peace?!   :o :o :o

I'm with DH. Get new friends.

greencat:
I POD your DH's opinion that y'all need some new friends.  Until  you make some, I'd suggest responding to the friends who want you to play nice with a firm "I don't want to be friends with someone who treats me like that" - and then deploy beandip.

Lady Stein:
Adding another POD for getting new friends. 

cicero:

--- Quote from: MrsVandy on July 02, 2012, 03:31:11 AM ---
But I can't since she is still saying these nasty things about me to anyone who will listen. Its one thing to defend my self to strangers but quite another to defend my self to friends.


--- End quote ---
you are absolutely right - you shouldn't have to defend yourself to friends. in fact, if they were real friends, you wouldn't have to defend yourself. a real friend, upon hearing some gossip /lies from NG would say "NG, MrsVandy is my friend, and I really don't appreciate your spreading nasty gossip about her".

I'm with your DH.

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