General Etiquette > Life...in general

Table Sharing at a Coffee Shop?

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norrina:
I have a situation that DF and I have observed and/or experienced a few times, and I'm wondering if we are being rude/inconsiderate, the other party is being rude/inconsiderate, or everyone is fine.

At our local coffee shop, there are a few soft chairs, a handful of very small 2-tops, and three 4-tops. DF and I tend to spend a little time hanging out and studying while we drink our coffee, maybe an hour or so, so if a 4-top is open we share it since there simply isn't enough room for both of our books and coffee cups on the 2-tops. A while back, we took a 4-top next to another 4-top that was occupied by 2 gentleman that appeared to be having some sort of a business meeting. After a bit one of the gentleman left, and a bit after that a woman came and joined the man remaining, and it quickly became apparent that they had nothing to do with each other.

On another occasion, a woman wandered over to our 4-top, set her handbag down on the table, and began rummaging through it. When she could not find what she was looking for, she thumped the bag on the table several times to shake up the contents. Eventually she wandered off again.

Then today, a woman came over to our 4-top, set her satchel in one of the empty seats, and proceeded to set herself up at the remaining chair. She spread out several note pads, and then took out her laptop. She set the laptop on the table top, and moved it towards the center of the table until she had it where she liked it, requiring DF to move his coffee mug to avoid it being knocked over, then came around the table and essentially leaned over DF to get to the outlet plug. During none of this did she say a word to us or even make eye contact.

To get to my questions then:
(1) Are we being rude to take a 4-top when we are only 2 people?
(2) Are others rude to join us, or to join us without any sort of greeting?
(3) Are neither (1) nor (2) rude, and just the accepted way of things in a coffee shop?

If it makes a difference, we are in the U.S. My understanding is that in some countries table-sharing can be quite common, even in a sit-down restaurant, but I've never really noticed it here.

artk2002:
If the place is crowded, then yes, you're being rude by taking a 4-top when a 2-top would do just fine. If not rude, then very inconsiderate of the other people who would like to sit as well. If you must use a 4-top and it's crowded than I think you can expect to have to share. On the other hand, they should ask, since you may be waiting for a third or fourth person to join you. Just dumping yourself down at a table is rude, even in cultures where sharing is more common.

Nika:
Is the coffee shop very crowded? I think staying at a 4-top for a long time is kind of rude if there isn't any seating for other customers. But if the shop isn't packed I don't think there is anything wrong with it - people do tend to hang out in coffee shops, after all.

Regardless, I think the people who just plop down at your table without saying anything are rude. If they really really want to sit there, they have to ask if you mind.

Ugh. Strangers sitting by me is such a pet peeve of mine.

norrina:
I wouldn't say that the shop is ever horribly crowded when we go. We tend to go during the middle of a weekday, so I think that cuts down on the number of people that want to linger. When the woman joined us today the tables did all appear to be occupied however (couple at one of the other 4-tops, a woman alone at the last 4-top, one or two people per 2-top; there were some easy chairs open). So I didn't begrudge the woman needing a table, but it rubbed me a bit the wrong way that she inserted herself into our personal space (nearly knocking over coffee that was clearly on DF's "half" of the table, and leaning over him) without so much as a by-your-leave.

DF actually went to the coffeeshop alone originally today, and took a 2-top in the corner. We talked about staying at that table, but we found we really couldn't fit a second chair at the table because of how the other tables and easy chairs were arranged around it.

kckgirl:
To get to my questions then:
(1) Are we being rude to take a 4-top when we are only 2 people? In my opinion, yes
(2) Are others rude to join us, or to join us without any sort of greeting? Again, yes to joining without any greeting

I think I would have said something when she almost knocked over the coffee or when she leaned over DF.

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