Author Topic: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.  (Read 2815 times)

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NyaChan

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So yet another question from the internship front -- I have mixed feelings on this one and wanted to hear what y'all thought.  All people involved are at the same internship as I am.  These two girls, Serena and Elizabeth are actually roommates as well at the housing that was on our list of places where we could get a discount for the summer.  They did not know each other prior to coming here for the summer.

Elizabeth tends to be standoffish.  She will often just disappear with no notice (once for an entire weekend) and flakes out when people at the internship make plans with her.  For example, we all left for lunch one day having decided where we were going, we reach the place, and all of the sudden Elizabeth is gone, apparently having decided she no longer wanted to eat with us.  Elizabeth does not invite Serena to any of her social activities, but will often ask her to use her +1 to internship events to get in another one of her own friends (of course Elizabeth says no because that would make her look bad to her potential employers).  When Serena has plans and Elizabeth does not, she will call and text her multiple times - 5 calls in 2 hours once when she knew Serena was at a work event for her division.  Elizabeth also seems to expect Serena to wake her up in the morning as she uses no alarm and only gets up when Serena calls out to her worried that she only has 10 minutes before she would HAVE to leave - then gets upset that Serena won't wait for her.

Serena is not an angel either by any means (are any of us really?  ;)).  I know all these things because she harps on them to me constantly, yet won't do anything to fix them like telling Elizabeth that she can't be responsible for waking her up every day.  She also edited a paper for Elizabeth once and came into my office and pretty much lambasted it.  As it happens I had edited one for her as well so I know the criticism was on point (there were literally floating fragments of a sentence, no spell check, citations completely wrong if they were there at all), but I felt that was inappropriate and breaks a certain sense of confidentiality I feel is implicit in showing someone your work and asking for their help in fixing it.  Serena still hangs out with Elizabeth and they appear to be quite friendly to each other's face.

Anyways, this was all background to show that there are tensions beyond the techno issue that may be spilling into it.  Elizabeth is a blogger.  She has told Serena that she blogs extensively about her personal, school, and work life including the people in it.  Then she told Serena that she would not allow her to read the blog or know the name so that she could not look it up.  Serena is now irritated because she fears that Elizabeth is writing negatively about her.  She says that it is rude to write about her without permission and then even more rude to refuse to let her see what she is writing.  I don't think she actually knows that she appears in the blog, but seems to be assuming that since she is not allowed to see it, Elizabeth is hiding something as she did explicitly state that she wasn't telling anyone at the office about it so that she could avoid any trouble it might cause.

Now I think writing a blog about your place of work is just a bad idea all around if you don't have your work's permission and approval.  However, I don't really agree with the stance Serena is taking that it is absolutely rude to write about a person you know without their permission.  I can see why she is worried though because nothing on the internet stays hidden forever.  What do you guys think?

artk2002

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2012, 12:47:39 PM »
Elizabeth is not wrong to write about her work or the people she comes in contact with. That's as general topics. Trashing work or people is another thing entirely.

The real problem here is that Elizabeth is taunting Serena "I have a blog and am saying things about you but you can't know what it is. Nyah-nyah!" If she really wanted it to be private she'd keep her mouth shut. I'd read this as an attempt to manipulate Serena into doing what Elizabeth wants. "It'd be a real shame if some blogger said something bad about you, now wouldn't it?" A form of blackmail, really.

Advice: Stay far, far away from Elizabeth. She'll eventually self-destruct. The Internet is forever and even the most hidden things can come to light.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Coley

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2012, 01:13:17 PM »
Elizabeth is not wrong to write about her work or the people she comes in contact with. That's as general topics. Trashing work or people is another thing entirely.

The real problem here is that Elizabeth is taunting Serena "I have a blog and am saying things about you but you can't know what it is. Nyah-nyah!" If she really wanted it to be private she'd keep her mouth shut. I'd read this as an attempt to manipulate Serena into doing what Elizabeth wants. "It'd be a real shame if some blogger said something bad about you, now wouldn't it?" A form of blackmail, really.

Advice: Stay far, far away from Elizabeth. She'll eventually self-destruct. The Internet is forever and even the most hidden things can come to light.

POD. Given the topics on which Elizabeth writes, I have to wonder who she'd allow to read it! Regardless, I don't think Serena is being rude for writing about others without their permission; however, telling Serena that she writes about others and then refusing to give Serena access seems to imply that Elizabeth has something to hide. At a minimum, I do think it's rude to hold the blog over Serena's head. Like artk2002, I'd be concerned that it's a means of manipulation.

TheVapors

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2012, 07:45:35 AM »
I agree that if Elizabeth wanted to keep the blog a secret, she'd never bring it up. This particular blog sounds like Elizabeth's public diary. And, it does sound like she's saying, "I can write whatever I want, and you can never see it!" Why would someone say that? Practically because they are trying to lord it over someone else's head.

Best response? Apathy (or faked apathy since Serena does care). And then distance.

I think, not only over this fact but the many facts you mentioned, that Serena's best bet is to distance herself. However, it seems you may have already suggested that and Serena hasn't changed her behaviors... she just complains more.

Also, as mentioned, things like that eventually come to light. It will an unfortunate day to be you, OP, as I can only imagine the complaints.

Mikayla

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2012, 12:59:31 PM »
Gah.  This is terrorism-by-blog.  How crass and immature!

I'd do whatever it takes to distance yourself from her.  No more shared activities, no more proofing of work.  If she starts talking, leave the room.  Seriously, there's no upside to trying to maintain a healthy friendship with someone like this. 

Winterlight

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #5 on: July 09, 2012, 08:39:54 AM »
Elizabeth sounds like a pill. I'd ignore her bait and stop being her alarm clock/assistant. And in your shoes I'd start asking Serena, "So what are you going to to about it?" instead of letting her repeatedly vent to me.
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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LEMon

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #6 on: July 09, 2012, 08:10:24 PM »
OP, I would be distantly polite to both.  Yes, Elizabeth is perhaps writting things about Serena, but how is that really different from what Serena is doing to Elizabeth verbally.*  I would refuse to listen to such comments and refuse to get involved because I can only picture it going badly for you.

*  The one 'worse than' feature I see is for Elizabeth's side is that hers is documented and will last, while Serena's are undocumented and will last as long as the memories.  But for Serena's 'worse than' what Serena is doing is done to those who know Elizabeth, while Elizabeth is keeping it from those who know Serena.

NyaChan

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #7 on: July 09, 2012, 09:32:11 PM »
This is really interesting, I hadn't really thought of it as a form of blackmail before.  I guess it is in a way - even if Serena doesn't know the people reading it, who wants to have bad things about them floating around the web? 

LEMon - I agree that Serena is out of line for talking so much about Elizabeth that way.  I get the feeling that she thinks I am safe to vent to since I don't spend much time around Elizabeth (and she takes no interest in me whatsoever lol).  I hope that Serena got the message that I was not okay with it when she talked about the work product at least- I was making a pretty shocked face I'd imagine because she froze a bit and backed off after trying to show it to me saying "Yeah, I know I shouldn't be talking about this.  I'm just so irritated!" and then changed the subject. 

Luckily I've been so busy with work that I haven't had time to check in with my fellow interns :) 

What really strikes me though, is that if Elizabeth hadn't said anything, no one would have known.  I just don't get why she would even bring it up!

lmyrs

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2012, 07:03:58 PM »
It seems to me that one of two things is happening. Either (1) the blog has parts that are easily identifiable as Serena and so she should be able to find it with a little Google-Fu. Or (2) Serena is unidentifiable in the blog so she really shouldn't worry about it.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: S/O Read my blog. -- I have a blog...and you can't read it.
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2012, 11:26:09 PM »
It seems to me that one of two things is happening. Either (1) the blog has parts that are easily identifiable as Serena and so she should be able to find it with a little Google-Fu. Or (2) Serena is unidentifiable in the blog so she really shouldn't worry about it.

This was going to be my suggestion. Serena should try Googling her name (and other key words) to see if they show up with Elisabeth's blog. If nothing comes up, it's good news.

Another thing occurred to me. Any chance that Elizabeth is simply making the whole thing up (about keeping a blog)?