General Etiquette > Family and Children

Giving Dark Sister the Cut (Link Posted For Full Story)

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Mental Magpie:
After the events over the past week, I have decided to give Dark Sister the Cut Direct.  I still have to go get my car from her, but after that, I'm done.

Do I have to tell her why?  If she ever asks, should I not tell her why?  Do I ignore every form of communication or read the electronic one's to see if she actually needs anything (some of her stuff is probably still at my/Dark Mother's house and even though I want nothing to do with her, I can't abide by keeping her stuff from her if I knowingly have it)?  Should I remove her from my Facebook (which she is rarely if ever on) or do you think that will cause too much more drama in which she tries to make herself look like the martyr?  Many people who were at the wedding, barring my extended family, have any idea what went on behind scenes and I can definitely see her doing that.  I'm really lost on just how exactly to go about doing this.

*If you want the full story, PM me and I'll tell you.  I'm just not sure it was appropriate to post here; I don't mind telling anyone on here what happened.

ETA:  Here is the link for the long and really involved version of why I am giving Dark Sister the Cut Direct.
http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=118272.0

Lorelei_Evil:
Why tell her?  Based on your past postings about her, she'd just twist what you said to portray herself as the martyr no matter what you actually said. 

I would just cut off the info flow to her and do a slow fade out of her life.  Don't give her the ego boost of a big fight.  Up to you how fast the fade needs to be.

O'Dell:
Maybe I'm just nosy (eh...I know I'm nosy!) but I think you should post why you want to go to the direct cut. That is the nuclear option and because she is close family it has the potential to be a WMD.

But in general, I believe you do not announce the cut direct. You simply enact it. You can monitor your emails, but any return of goods should be done thru someone else. If you find yourself in her presence, you act as if she is not there.

Are you really sure that you want to go that far? Would being extremely cold and formal and distant serve as well?

O'Dell:
Oh and FB and other social media sites, defriend and block. There is really no reason to keep that connection to her open, even if you don't go so far as a direct cut, IMO.

elephantschild:
Whoo boy, I was wondering how things were going with the wedding. :(  I'm sorry to read this.

I kind of agree with O'Dell. If you're sure ... don't tell her, just do it. If there's a matter of possessions to return ... do it through someone else. If she wants to look like a martyr ... let her. Just let everything to do with her slide right off you.

I'll confess it. I am curious. And it might help with the advice if we did know a little more.

I'm sorry this happened. I was hoping she'd get her act together for the actual event.  :(

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