General Etiquette > Holidays

When they know your address but...

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Itza:
... they still send post for you to your parents’ house!

B/G I haven’t lived with my parents in 21 years and, despite giving my address to all of my relatives, it seems some of them have decided it’s more convenient to give Christmas cards to my parents to pass on to me, either directly or posting it through their letter box.

I’ve been living in the same town as my parents and these relatives for 17 years and just half a mile from my parents for 14 years. I suppose these relatives do this to save themselves either time, effort, money or all three, under the assumption my parents and I will see each other over Christmas. End B/G
 
Now, here comes the problem. We are moving out of the area and I will, of course, let everyone know our change of address but I suspect that these relatives will continue to give my parents cards for me. Additionally, recently in the UK, the price of postage increased so I see more relatives doing the same as the others! I don’t want my parents to incur the financial burden of posting these cards onto me since I doubt we’ll be seeing each other every Christmas.

I've suggested to my mother that if anyone tries to give her a card for me directly, that she is to refuse to take it saying that we're not seeing each other this year. I said to her that it doesn't matter if it's true or not, to say it anyway lest agreeing once sets up a precedent in the relative’s mind.

As for the ones that are posted through the letterbox, I’ve asked her to open them for me and to let me know who they’re from so I can contact the senders directly and give them my new address (again) but as for the wording, I’m not sure what to say exactly.

Does anyone have any better suggestions of how to deal with this situation when it happens? How would you address this with people? Would you let them know they're imposing a financial burden on your parents?

Many thanks!

Kaypeep:
I would make a point to contact the repeat offenders and pointedly ask them to please stop sending your mail via your parents.  I'd remind them that the cost of postage has gone up and it's not fair for your parents to have to pay to re-send things, and it's not fair that they've wasted their own time and efforts having to remember to bring you mis-directed mail.  In other words, I'd let them people know they are adding to your parent's burden and it's really unfair. 

VorFemme:
Military spouse - we moved often.  I started a habit of sending my Christmas cards out EARLY the years we moved, so I could include the new address on the envelope, inside the card, and in the holiday news letter (so three times - envelope, card, and enclosure). 

There were at least a couple of times when other family members also sent their cards early and our change of address crossed in the mail with their card (birth announcement once, a move on someone else's part, and an announcement of some other kind - possibly a change in who was hosting the family get together at Christmas that year - I forget).

Harriet Jones:
I don't know if this would work in the UK, but can you ask your mother to write "Return to Sender/ Not at this address" and send it back without having to pay return postage?

Bluenomi:

--- Quote from: Flydell North on July 10, 2012, 08:25:15 PM ---I don't know if this would work in the UK, but can you ask your mother to write "Return to Sender/ Not at this address" and send it back without having to pay return postage?

--- End quote ---

That's what I'd be tempted to do. The only problem is the OP's parents might cop some flack from relatives for not passing them on.

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