RIP messages on FB before family informed

[VorFemme]

Worst story I ever heard was supposedly told by one of the cops at the scene.

Cement truck driver had a liquid lunch (beer) and managed to tip his loaded with wet cement vehicle over and it landed on a little import car.  No chance of the occupants surviving.  A local guy stopped and was directing traffic around the accident scene, until the cops got there.  He stuck around because he needed to make the same turn that the cement truck was now blocking.

The Jaws of Life showed up and the cement truck was picked up off the little import car.  And then they moved the rather flat vehicle....as they did a handmade doll fell out of the smashed back window.

The guy who'd been helping direct traffic went berserk and attacked the drunk cement truck driver.  The officer said that it took two or three men to pull him off......

It was a handmade doll that his mother had made for his two-year old daughter and it identified the car as his wife's......he'd just realized that he'd lost his family......

I've never tried running it through Snopes because I really don't want to know the date, time, and exact location (Phoenix, AZ area & before 1980 - based on when & where I heard the story).  It's bad enough....

[Winterlight]

Why can't it be the same as births? Wait until you *know* the nearest and dearest have been informed-by them posting or telling you it's ok to post. If traditional media can't do it until notification, I don't see any pressing need for the fb world to know.

This is how I do it.

When we lost one of our dogs earlier this year, I held off posting till I knew my brother had been informed. He didn't need to find out from FB.

[Queen of Clubs]

When we lost one of our dogs earlier this year, I held off posting till I knew my brother had been informed. He didn't need to find out from FB.

Oddly enough, this same situation has come up for a friend of mine involving one of her cats.  The cat was originally hand-raised by me, then I gave the girl kitten to my friend while keeping the two boy kittens.  The cat died very recently, aged 17, so it wasn't a surprise or a shock, but my friend wanted to let all her friends know before her niece posted about it on facebook.  Her niece didn't wait, so my friend had to rush to let all her friends know in case they saw it on facebook first.

I feel really bad for my friend, because maybe she wanted to take some time to deal with her own grief before phoning people and she didn't get that option.

[Lauren]

I found out about the death of a 17 year old that I coached on FB. Spent the next 10 minutes frantically ringing people till I'd confirmed it. This was apparently only hours after it happened. I can't imagine finding out my child died on FB.