Author Topic: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14  (Read 9158 times)

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JenJay

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #15 on: September 16, 2012, 10:29:39 AM »
I think you were absolutely right not only to leave but to let the admins know why you were leaving and remove everyone from that group off your FB. What a mess! I hope the other group is drama free.

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #16 on: September 16, 2012, 10:35:51 AM »
You were absolutely right to leave and unfriend everyone.  You cannot trust them.
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Queen of Clubs

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #17 on: September 16, 2012, 11:03:14 AM »
Here are my etiquette questions:  Was my "goodbye cruel forum post" justified or rude?  Was I rude for immediately unfriending the members of this group?

Justified, IMO.  It lets everyone in the group know that if this guy stalks them, the group will do nothing.  I'd hope that the majority of the members will leave rather than stay where stalking is condoned.

And no, I don't think you're rude for cutting off ties to the group.

I'd think that the admin who decided to let the stalker back in is either friends with the stalker, or was getting harassed about being banned so did this to get him off their back.

Knitterly

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #18 on: September 16, 2012, 12:54:00 PM »
You did not post a "goodbye cruel forum" post.  You posted a "goodbye" post.  Your behaviour was entirely justified and appropriate and I am also shocked and disturbed that he has not lost his account, when others have lost their accounts for far less disturbing behaviour.

Knitterly

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #19 on: September 16, 2012, 12:54:41 PM »
Here are my etiquette questions:  Was my "goodbye cruel forum post" justified or rude?  Was I rude for immediately unfriending the members of this group?

Justified, IMO.  It lets everyone in the group know that if this guy stalks them, the group will do nothing.  I'd hope that the majority of the members will leave rather than stay where stalking is condoned.

And no, I don't think you're rude for cutting off ties to the group.

I'd think that the admin who decided to let the stalker back in is either friends with the stalker, or was getting harassed about being banned so did this to get him off their back
.

Or is possibly a second sock-puppet account?

Queen of Clubs

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #20 on: September 16, 2012, 02:02:22 PM »
Here are my etiquette questions:  Was my "goodbye cruel forum post" justified or rude?  Was I rude for immediately unfriending the members of this group?

Justified, IMO.  It lets everyone in the group know that if this guy stalks them, the group will do nothing.  I'd hope that the majority of the members will leave rather than stay where stalking is condoned.

And no, I don't think you're rude for cutting off ties to the group.

I'd think that the admin who decided to let the stalker back in is either friends with the stalker, or was getting harassed about being banned so did this to get him off their back
.

Or is possibly a second sock-puppet account?

Good point!  That's entirely possible too. :(

Winterlight

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #21 on: September 20, 2012, 12:39:55 PM »
I think that you were entirely justified in posting why you were leaving. Stalking should be taken seriously and this is a matter of safety. If I were in that group I'd want to know that this was happening so I could leave too- I wouldn't want him to turn on me next.
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hobish

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #22 on: September 20, 2012, 12:53:00 PM »

Long enough? There is a statute of acceptability for FB stalking? O…k…
You were entirely justified. That is plain creepy.
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Twik

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #23 on: September 20, 2012, 03:24:55 PM »
I doubt the administrator is a sock puppet. But it's quite likely that he's one of those people who wants everything to be nice and happy, and hates looking "mean". This often means that he will pressure the victims of bad behaviour to pretend with him that everything is nice and happy, and the person bothering them is perfectly charming.
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Cat-Fu

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #24 on: September 20, 2012, 03:41:19 PM »
I don't think your GCF post was really rude, but definitely was unnecessary drama. It will probably just get deleted and no one new who joins will be the wiser. Why not just leave the group? I think it would have been pretty clear why to current members, considering your previous posts on the FB group.

The admin sounds like a real peach, though. I'm sure Mr. Stalker was real sorry and isn't it the nice thing to do to give him another chance?  ::)
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Twik

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2012, 04:07:43 PM »
Drama, certainly, but is it "unnecessary"?

It sounds to me like the group leader is a people-pleaser. He doesn't like Stalker Guy thinking he's "mean". If the OP leaves without a word, Leader thinks he's achieved his goal, and losing another member is just a coincidence. Stating why you're leaving the group makes it clear to him he has not kept everyone happy at all. In fact, someone thinks he's not doing his job. This *might* jolt him into realizing that appeasement is not always the best policy.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

BarensMom

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Re: FB Chat Question - I don't want to hear about it, so stop! - Update P7, P14
« Reply #26 on: September 23, 2012, 12:01:35 PM »
I hadn't realized that there had been additional posts to this, but to respond to My Cat is a Ninja, I left a comment to the Admin's post in the small admin group about reinstating Stalker.  I commented, "As a matter of principle, I cannot stay in a group that condones a stalker.  I'm out of here." 

Thankfully, my FB has been very quiet since I left those groups, so perhaps I've avoided their usual drama when someone has fallen out with them.