General Etiquette > Family and Children

Never will I host a party in my home again

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Ilovemygeek:
We are generally not big on hosting parties since our home is on the small side, but we had hosted one for our older daughter for her 1st birthday and wished to do the same for our youngest. We only invited a handful of friends and their families since she is 1 and wouldn't really know the difference and wanted to celebrate with our friends by having them over for lots of food and desserts. Most of the people who came have been friends with my husband since elementary school. I'm used to my Mom's group where the moms tend to their kids and actually keep an eye on them, so I was a little shocked at how upside down my house was torn so quickly.

I spent 2 weeks prepping the house and was up until 1 am frosting cupcakes and cakes and getting all the food prepped. The party ended up not going as well as I had hoped. The one area where I fear I may have been a rude hostess was shoe involved. Typically, I won't stress over shoes being in the house...unless they are heels. Heels are damaging to our wood floors and anyone who is wearing them is asked to remove them since they can dent them (no exceptions). Unfortunately DH didn't intercept one of the guests (his friends) and I didn't see her until she had made it through the house but I still asked her to remove them after explaining why. I don't think she took it well.

There were older kids who ranged 6-8years old who ran through the house and then were loudly disappointed to see that we didn't have a pool. One boy in particular seemed determined to break my girls' toys. He had climbed on top of their littler climber and was standing up and rocking it as HARD as he could...nearly tipping it over into a tree. I saw this from the window, stood up and said OH NO!! He can't do that, that is only meant for little kids. His father dismissed it by saying his son didn't weigh THAT much and it would be fine (meanwhile he did bend it a bit).

They brought beer...which isn't my huge point of consternation (though we had juice, drinks for the kids, and soda, water, milk) ..but the fact that they left beer bottles ON THE FLOOR where my 2 and 1 year old could get to them and were letting the older kids play with bottle caps on the floor (again easily swallowed). The party wrapped up 2 hours earlier then planned and the swatch of damage left involved cake and frosting smeared from one end of the house to the other, shushed onto upholstery, squished into my area rugs...EVERYWHERE. Apparently a piece of cake was dropped and then stepped on! Nobody picked up their beer bottles and my Mom had to clean up after the older kids because they just left plates and food everywhere. Toys were mistreated, etc. I kept catching older kids trying to go in rooms closed off, like the garage, and our master bedroom, I got snide looked and remarks by one older girl, etc.

I didn't even get a chance to socialize since the entire abbreviated party (they left when the beer ran out, so they were in and out in 2 hours) I was in the kitchen getting the food tended to and cleaning up. One of my guests (my friend) commented that one of the Dads was acting worse then the kids and it turns out that almost everything originated from the one family (the heels, rocking climber, moans about lack of pool, damage, snide comments etc). The rest of the kids and guests were perfectly lovely and the kids were very sweet, but since these are all his oldest friends it is an all or nothing sort of thing. My mom even commented on the behavior of the one set.

My question is this...my oldest is having her first kid party in a couple of months and I don't want to invite everyone (it won't be at the house). Can I just invite the child that is closest to her age to the kid venue or am I doomed to have 20+ people each time?

andi:
OP I feel for you. It's hard to be a gracious host to people who don't seem respect your things.   Even though we hve a child I rarely have people over with kids becaue my house is just not set up for large groups of kids.   I always host playgroups and birthday parties at a park or other venue away from my house. I do not handle the stress of unwatched children and messes well - it's more fun for everyone. I don't see anything wrong with having your 2 year old's party somewhere other than home.

Twik:
Why on earth should you have to invite everyone to a "kid's party"? Invite the child, and let the parents know when to pick him/her up.

Cami:

--- Quote from: Ilovemygeek on July 16, 2012, 09:42:45 AM ---We are generally not big on hosting parties since our home is on the small side, but we had hosted one for our older daughter for her 1st birthday and wished to do the same for our youngest. We only invited a handful of friends and their families since she is 1 and wouldn't really know the difference and wanted to celebrate with our friends by having them over for lots of food and desserts. Most of the people who came have been friends with my husband since elementary school. I'm used to my Mom's group where the moms tend to their kids and actually keep an eye on them, so I was a little shocked at how upside down my house was torn so quickly.

I spent 2 weeks prepping the house and was up until 1 am frosting cupcakes and cakes and getting all the food prepped. The party ended up not going as well as I had hoped. The one area where I fear I may have been a rude hostess was shoe involved. Typically, I won't stress over shoes being in the house...unless they are heels. Heels are damaging to our wood floors and anyone who is wearing them is asked to remove them since they can dent them (no exceptions). Unfortunately DH didn't intercept one of the guests (his friends) and I didn't see her until she had made it through the house but I still asked her to remove them after explaining why. I don't think she took it well.

There were older kids who ranged 6-8years old who ran through the house and then were loudly disappointed to see that we didn't have a pool. One boy in particular seemed determined to break my girls' toys. He had climbed on top of their littler climber and was standing up and rocking it as HARD as he could...nearly tipping it over into a tree. I saw this from the window, stood up and said OH NO!! He can't do that, that is only meant for little kids. His father dismissed it by saying his son didn't weigh THAT much and it would be fine (meanwhile he did bend it a bit).

They brought beer...which isn't my huge point of consternation (though we had juice, drinks for the kids, and soda, water, milk) ..but the fact that they left beer bottles ON THE FLOOR where my 2 and 1 year old could get to them and were letting the older kids play with bottle caps on the floor (again easily swallowed). The party wrapped up 2 hours earlier then planned and the swatch of damage left involved cake and frosting smeared from one end of the house to the other, shushed onto upholstery, squished into my area rugs...EVERYWHERE. Apparently a piece of cake was dropped and then stepped on! Nobody picked up their beer bottles and my Mom had to clean up after the older kids because they just left plates and food everywhere. Toys were mistreated, etc. I kept catching older kids trying to go in rooms closed off, like the garage, and our master bedroom, I got snide looked and remarks by one older girl, etc.

I didn't even get a chance to socialize since the entire abbreviated party (they left when the beer ran out, so they were in and out in 2 hours) I was in the kitchen getting the food tended to and cleaning up. One of my guests (my friend) commented that one of the Dads was acting worse then the kids and it turns out that almost everything originated from the one family (the heels, rocking climber, moans about lack of pool, damage, snide comments etc). The rest of the kids and guests were perfectly lovely and the kids were very sweet, but since these are all his oldest friends it is an all or nothing sort of thing. My mom even commented on the behavior of the one set.

My question is this...my oldest is having her first kid party in a couple of months and I don't want to invite everyone (it won't be at the house). Can I just invite the child that is closest to her age to the kid venue or am I doomed to have 20+ people each time?

--- End quote ---
  You did a party for one kid  this way and... so what? No law says you have to continue to do the same for the next 17 years and certainly not the same party for a different kid since different kids have different needs/wishes.

So you're not doomed to anything -- one party does not an inviolable tradtion make.

FTR -- We never once invited entire families to dd's birthday parties, nor did we ever invite people we were friends with who were not friends with her. We always invited just the kid SHE knew to the party.

RubyCat:
I am appalled at the behavior of this family.  Where was your husband while this family was running amok?  They are *his* friends.  It's a shame that you feel like you can't invite the rest of the group without the barbarian family in the future. It's yet another case of the badly behaved ruining things for everyone.

I see no problem in inviting just the one child. I would take into consideration how friendly your child is to this child. And I would add that if child is invited and behaves as horribly as in your home, I would be reluctant to invite them anywhere ever again.

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