declining facebook invitations

[AllTheThings]

By Facebook invitation, I mean one where it is clear that the person has handpicked certain people to come to a party or something like that, not something where the person has invited their whole friends list to gain publicity for an event.

Do you think it is a little rude to decline a Facebook invitation without writing a message, such as "Sorry I can't come, have a good time!" or "Thanks, but I have something else that day"

To me, writing a short message compared to just clicking no and saying nothing is comparable to:

A: Hey, want to come over tomorrow?
B: Sorry, I can't.

vs

A: Hey, want to come over tomorrow?
B: No. *blink*

What do you think?

[CakeBeret]

I think just declining the invitation is sufficient. A comment is perhaps nice, but not necessary. I put invitations for birthday parties, etc. on facebook and it would never occur to me that declining guests need to write a message.

[s]

I don't put a reason when I decline.  If the host wants to be so brazen as to interrogate me about why I can't come then they end up looking bad and not me.  If it's something where it's obvious they invited their whole friends list then I quietly remove myself from the event.

[AllTheThings]

I don't put a reason when I decline.  If the host wants to be so brazen as to interrogate me about why I can't come then they end up looking bad and not me.  If it's something where it's obvious they invited their whole friends list then I quietly remove myself from the event.

I don't mean putting a reason, I just mean saying something like, "sorry I can't come, have a good time" to acknowledge that they invited you.

[s]

I don't put a reason when I decline.  If the host wants to be so brazen as to interrogate me about why I can't come then they end up looking bad and not me.  If it's something where it's obvious they invited their whole friends list then I quietly remove myself from the event.

I don't mean putting a reason, I just mean saying something like, "sorry I can't come, have a good time" to acknowledge that they invited you.

Well I think something like that is entirely optional.  Personally I don't find it necessary to do so.

[Penguin_ar]

No need for a reply/ reason/ comment.  I've always seen the comment section more for those attending, or having a question about the event.   I would really only leave a comment after declining if  I either had previously accepted, on FB or verbally, and something came up, or if I had a relevant comment/ request such as "You can borrow my big punch bowl like you did last time, just pick it up anytime before the party" or  "I'd love to see pics!".

[Virg]

AllTheThings wrote:

"I don't mean putting a reason, I just mean saying something like, "sorry I can't come, have a good time" to acknowledge that they invited you."

To me, declining the invitation is equivalent to saying "sorry I can't come".  It's not rude to decline a Facebook invite using Facebook's decline.  That's just how they work.

Virg

[O'Dell]

I think it's nice if someone says something rather than just clicking no, but I don't think it's rude not to. It does feel abrupt to me too, which is why I usually don't click anything unless I plan to go.

[Cat-Fu]

I usually do say something, to acknowledge that I appreciated the invitation. I do the same with weddings, like include a note on the back of the RSVP card.

I wouldn't say it's rude not to, but it is a nice thing to do.

[Penguin_ar]

I think it's nice if someone says something rather than just clicking no, but I don't think it's rude not to. It does feel abrupt to me too, which is why I usually don't click anything unless I plan to go.

See, for me if anything that is more rude, because then the host doesn't know if you haven't seen the invite, are coming/ not coming and forgot to rsvp or are not sure yet.

[Moray]

I think it's nice if someone says something rather than just clicking no, but I don't think it's rude not to. It does feel abrupt to me too, which is why I usually don't click anything unless I plan to go.

See, for me if anything that is more rude, because then the host doesn't know if you haven't seen the invite, are coming/ not coming and forgot to rsvp or are not sure yet.

Same here, Penguin_ar. I'm sending the invite because I want an RSVP, even if it's a no. I don't think there's any obligation to include a reason, but if you really would have liked to have been there, say so!

[Ceallach]

To me it completely depends on the invitation.   If it's family, then yes I'll usually post a little note about why I can't come / wishing them all a happy occasion etc.   If it's more of a wider/generic group then I won't, although I might send my apologies to the host directly.   The thing is, usually your post can be seen by all invitees, not just your host, and if there's a bunch of strangers on it then I might not be interested in communicating with them. 

[Venus193]

Is there any polite way to tell people to stop sending you requests in Farmville or other similar areas?  I have no desire to get involved with any of that stuff and this is getting on my last nerve.

[diesel_darlin]

Is there any polite way to tell people to stop sending you requests in Farmville or other similar areas?  I have no desire to get involved with any of that stuff and this is getting on my last nerve.

I have the solution to that one! Go to the app center, in the list on the left hand side of the screen. Its near the bottom. Click on that, and the game requests will appear. There is an X beside of each one. Click the X, and Facebook will ask you if you want to block all game requests from that particular person, or the game itself. Just click on "Block Farmville" and no more Farmville requests will come to you.

[Isometric]

For a handpicked guest event, I would post a little comment. For a mass-invite type event, just "no". I used to do "maybe" because "no" sounded too harsh, but I just bite the bullet now.