Author Topic: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?  (Read 7895 times)

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Roe

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Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« on: July 27, 2012, 10:29:07 AM »
I share quite often on FB.  I only have family and close friends on my list.  It's the easiest way to share my life with far away relatives. (our family moved to east coast about a year and a half ago)

Since most weekends, we get to do lots of cool stuff and visit awesome cities, I sometimes feel like it might come across as bragging.  Is posting a picture of your kid at 'really cool place' bragging?  FTR, my friends also post pics of themselves on vacation and I don't see it as bragging. 

So where's that fine line?  When does it go from sharing to bragging?


bah12

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2012, 10:52:14 AM »
I don't think it's bragging.  Posting pictures of your family with the caption "In front of the Eiffel Tower" is just what it is.

I too use FB to post pictures for my friends and family to see.  I've even posted pictures of cool antiques that my DH and I find every now and then when we go to estate sales...since it's a hobby of ours.  FB is, for all intents and purposes, a page solely dedicated to you telling whoever you let see, all about you.  And in that sense, I guess everyone that uses it is a bit of a braggert.

But, unless you're posting things like "we get to go do cool things all the time and we're so special because we do more than everyone else.  Don't you wish you were us?", then I wouldn't worry about it too much.

WillyNilly

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2012, 10:56:06 AM »
The line between sharing happy news and bragging is a fine but distinct one.

Sharing pics or status about awesome experiences isn't bragging, its sharing.  Obsessively sharing (multiple posts) or rubbing it in "don't you wish you were here!" is bragging.

Basically it comes down to mindset (and delivery of said mindset).  If your mindset is "I'm happy and I want to share my happiness with my family and friends because I know I like when they share theirs" its cool, if the mindset is "oh man everyone will be so jealous, my life is so awesome and better then everyone else's, check me out"" that's bragging.

jmarvellous

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #3 on: July 27, 2012, 11:33:38 AM »
What you're doing sounds fine! I like seeing the cool places my friends go even if I could never afford to go there or do what they're doing.

This seems a little closer to the bragging-telling edge:
Rich Kids of Instagram

Adelaide

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #4 on: July 27, 2012, 12:03:54 PM »
What you're doing sounds fine! I like seeing the cool places my friends go even if I could never afford to go there or do what they're doing.

This seems a little closer to the bragging-telling edge:
Rich Kids of Instagram

I have to agree. If you're posting conspicuous consumption pictures (brands and labels for their own sake) it would make me raise an eyebrow. Or if you make facetious "complaints" like "Ugh I'm so tired of this tiny G6" with again, conspicuous consumption, I would think you were bragging. But "Here's my vacation pictures from St. Bart's" wouldn't be a big deal. But at the end of the day everyone's facebook is their own, and people who don't like seeing things will probably just hide your feed or unfriend you.

Sharnita

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #5 on: July 27, 2012, 12:07:25 PM »
I t might be a bit after the fact but if you notice a significant drop off in responses to your posts it might indicate that people are becoming a bit weary of hearing about all your fun or feel like you are bragging. One or two people is their problem but if all you hear is the chirping of crickets it might be a good indication that your audience is not recpetive.

Kitty Hawk

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2012, 01:46:33 PM »
Sharing:  "We are loving our first trip to Paris, the weather is great, the food is fantastic and the whole family is having a blast."

Bragging:  "Flying first class to Pairs is so much better than 'cattle class', we eat at nothing less than 5-star restaurants, have my appiontments at Dior and Chanel tomorrow.  Our luxury suite is perfectly all right but really not up to our standards."

sweetonsno

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2012, 11:13:53 PM »
I'm in agreement with everyone, but I really think what WillyNilly said about intent is true. If you want to share something interesting or beautiful with friends, fine. (As Sharnita said, you'll get a pretty good idea of whether they find it interesting or not based on how many comments you get.)

If you're only posting a couple of pictures/status updates each weekend, you're probably doing fine. I'd probably comment on a single "Beautiful view from a storm on the coast" photo or "Heading out to Philly for the weekend" status update, but if someone was posting several details of the trip, I'd probably think they were fishing.

If you're worried, then limit your real-time updates and photo posts to only one or two a day (besides, it's way more fun to play/explore than fiddle with your phone) and when you get home, make an album of your best shots.

Mikayla

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2012, 01:39:29 PM »
Sharing:  "We are loving our first trip to Paris, the weather is great, the food is fantastic and the whole family is having a blast."

Bragging:  "Flying first class to Pairs is so much better than 'cattle class', we eat at nothing less than 5-star restaurants, have my appiontments at Dior and Chanel tomorrow.  Our luxury suite is perfectly all right but really not up to our standards."


This. 

MacadamiaNut

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2012, 02:08:35 PM »
Sharing:  "We are loving our first trip to Paris, the weather is great, the food is fantastic and the whole family is having a blast."

Bragging:  "Flying first class to Pairs is so much better than 'cattle class', we eat at nothing less than 5-star restaurants, have my appiontments at Dior and Chanel tomorrow.  Our luxury suite is perfectly all right but really not up to our standards."


This.

Yes, this for me too.  And also:

Sharing: I feel great after that workout at the Gym today!

Bragging: I feel great after that workout at the Gym today! (Monday), I feel great after that workout at the Gym today! (Tuesday) I feel great after that workout at the Gym today! (Wednesday) I feel great after that workout at the Gym today! (Thursday), etc.... ad nauseam.

Ok, we get it.  You go to the gym.  Can you maybe move on from this now?  These people are my pet peeve on Facebook.  ::)
Paperweights, for instance - has anyone ever established what, when, and why
paper has to be weighed down? ::) ~Don Aslett

Roe

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #10 on: July 29, 2012, 11:15:10 AM »
 I've always been careful to share, not to brag.   Whew!  I feel better knowing you guys agree with me over what constitutes sharing.  :)

JaneJensen

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #11 on: July 29, 2012, 02:41:56 PM »
Ok, I'm just going to straight out admit it.  When people post pictures of places they've been or they are at right now, I get jealous.. as in HUGELY envious.

However, that's MY problem, and I'm not mad at them for it. I'm sure they have no idea that I'm insanely jealous of their posting.
I also recognize the people on my friends list aren't the type to brag. They are usually just posting to update their family.  Knowing that, I can be mad and jealous at myself and not them.

Some people only post photos when they go somewhere or so something. Most of my friends aren't the " take a photo in the bathroom mirror type"  so they post a profile pic of themselves at the beach or whatever. Nothing wrong with that.

But luckily, some of the things people post that could be considered as bragging, I could care less about. For example, a friend of mine posted pictures of her Hawaii trip last month. Ok. Glad you had a nice time. NO jealously there because I could care less about hot beaches. Ditto for my friend who likes to take searing hikes through the Arizona desert and post cactus pictures. Well I'm happy for her that she had a nice time, but zero jealousy there because it's not something that looks fun. At all. Glad I'm not there.

But I do have a friend that lives in a state where she gets to Ski A LOT, and another friend who lives in the Pacific Northwest and posts pics of his road trips there all the time. I'm SUPER beyond jealous to the point of annoyed at them for posting about it.  But the key is, they don't know I feel this way,and it's my stupid immature problem so I just move on.

I guess it's impossible to know what will be considered bragging and what isn't to a wide audience on facebook. One friend of mine I guess was bragging about her new Cadillac car. Maybe some people were put off about it, but since I could care less about cars in general, and I'm not impressed by brands,  it didn't bother me.  Ditto for a friend that posts a pic of her Dooney and Burke purse. I suppose if I'd been pining away for one of those forever, I'd be so mad at her. But me, being me, I thought.. care. Purses.. meh.

I have another friend that I think might brag about her son's little league accomplishments. She posts scores and things but since I don't know a thing about that sport, I don't know how impressive it is. She posted they are traveling to some out of state conference and it didn't bother me. I guess the only person who it would bother is someone who has a kid on a team that didn't make that travel group.

I guess now that I write this all out, I think as long as your captions aren't obnoxious, you should feel free to post any activity you do. " Here we are at sea world" is fine. " Ha, too bad you aren't at sea world losers" is not.  People are going to get jealous. Hopefully though you have the sort of friends that can keep it to themselves.


Allyson

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #12 on: July 29, 2012, 06:59:53 PM »
It honestly never occurred to me that it might be bad form to post trip pictures because others might get jealous. By that logic nobody should ever post pictures of anything they do, because someone somewhere doesn't have that opportunity. I would never consider trip pictures to be bragging--it's usually more like 'it's so cool that I get to do this!' and, it is!

To me, bragging on Facebook is the people who have to endlessly mention being at the gym. Or every time they get a good grade on an exam. Sure, if getting that A or B was the first time and a result of you working your butt off from mediocre, post it! But I had a friend who after just about every test would post '98 percent again!' and it was just like..ok we get it.

My biggest annoyance is braggers who try to cover it up. 'Humblebrag' or 'backdoor brag' are terms I've used for this. It's stuff like 'somebody told me I looked great in this new shirt, I was so surprised!' Or 'I keep getting compliments on my kids behaviour, but they just are like that all the time so I didn't even think it was that special!'

Just say it. I would rather hear 'This new haircut is fabulous!' straight out than some weird sideways way of mentioning it.

MacadamiaNut

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #13 on: July 29, 2012, 07:42:39 PM »
<snip>

To me, bragging on Facebook is the people who have to endlessly mention being at the gym. Or every time they get a good grade on an exam. Sure, if getting that A or B was the first time and a result of you working your butt off from mediocre, post it! But I had a friend who after just about every test would post '98 percent again!' and it was just like..ok we get it.

My biggest annoyance is braggers who try to cover it up. 'Humblebrag' or 'backdoor brag' are terms I've used for this. It's stuff like 'somebody told me I looked great in this new shirt, I was so surprised!' Or 'I keep getting compliments on my kids behaviour, but they just are like that all the time so I didn't even think it was that special!'

Just say it. I would rather hear 'This new haircut is fabulous!' straight out than some weird sideways way of mentioning it.

Are you my long lost twin?  I agree with the things you said above and am enlightened by the bolded terms!  It helped me pinpoint why a lot of posts have irked me in the past and that is precisely why!  It's not the content of the post, it's the way they go about it.  Sooooo true, that!
Paperweights, for instance - has anyone ever established what, when, and why
paper has to be weighed down? ::) ~Don Aslett

whiskeytangofoxtrot

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Re: Where is the line between sharing and bragging?
« Reply #14 on: August 28, 2012, 01:13:47 PM »
The only "bragging" that bothers me much are posts from chronic drama mamas; not people who vent occasionally, we all do that, but the ones who seem to take great pride in telling the world, ad nauseum, how unloved, unappreciated, mistreated, and misunderstood they are. *Sigh*- good for you; have a cookie.  ::)

However, I enjoy my friends sharing photos and anecdotes about where they've been and what they've been doing. If I didn't want to know what was going on in their lives, they wouldn't be on my friend list in the first place. I don't always comment, because I don't always have something useful (IMO) to contribute, but I still like to keep up. I do get a teensy bit bored seeing pics of every single moment in somebody's kid's life, sometimes, but that's what's important to them, so good on 'em.