Hey singles-pets as part of the package deal when da[color=black]ting[/color] someone

[Akarui Kibuno]

Well, I have a problem with this myself.

Ever since I was little, I dreamt of having a dog. I've had a cat, I still have one, but he lives with my Mom and my family has adopted him, and he just loves it there. Yeeha.

Thing is, right now, I live with Mr Kibbs. His apartment, "his" rules, so no animals there. Period.

My problem ? After five years, he still hasn't accepted the idea that if we managed to get a house with a piece of land, I WANT my dog. He said "the dog or him".

If he brings this up again, I'll tell him that I have sacrificed enough so far, I'll do what I can do, but if we have a house, I'll have a dog and that's it. Tssk.

[Athos_000]

My dogs and I were a packaged deal. They are my responsibility and my babies (Bella, the dog in my sig, came to me at 3 weeks old). I would never have given them up for some guy. I was pretty up front with that when I was dating, why waste anyone's time?

DH is a cat person. He has had a couple of dogs in his lifetime but prefers cats. He LOVES my dogs (they kind of worm their way into your heart lol). And as an added bonus, his grumpy old cat who hates everyone absolutely loves me and has from the moment he first met me. I always tell DH that cricket likes me so it must have been meant to be.

It should probably be noted that I only have two dogs, not fifteen , but even then I still think that if a person takes on a pet they have the responsibility to care for that animal for the remainder of it's life. If they are unable to do that they should rehome it with someone who can give it the kind of love pets need.

[StuckInCube]

I dated a guy with a cat. And, I would never do it again. I am so allergic to cats it's not funny. Medication only helps slightly. I definitely do not want to spend the rest of my life feeling sick all the time or having to be doped up just so he can have his cat, so it would unfortunately have to be either the cat or me. Luckily DF dislikes cats just as much as I do, so we're all good.

Plus, I found it very off putting the way he baby-talked to his cat all the time. It just gave me the ughs. Not cute at all to me.

[hobish]

*I* am allergic to cats. And short-haired dogs. And horses. And birds. And you know what? I deal with it because I love them.
(The only one i have at the moment is a cat that i am allergic to.)

Gish acts like he doesn't like my cat and that she is a huge nuisance that he can't stand ... but i caught him scritching her head and saying "Aww, Kitty, I love you" one day when he thought i was in the other end of the apartment 

If someone else chose to just give in to their allergies instead of dealing with them, i would think it was they who were turning my cat/dog/pony/parrot/etc. into a deal-breaker, not me.

[StuckInCube]

If someone else chose to just give in to their allergies instead of dealing with them, i would think it was they who were turning my cat/dog/pony/parrot/etc. into a deal-breaker, not me.

I think this is very unfair to say someone is "giving in" to their allergies and they are not dealing with them. I have severe allergic reactions to cats and I have asthma. I take medication, but it doesn't clear up all my symptoms. There is nothing wrong with me choosing to not feel sick all the time or be in constant respiratory distress so someone can have an animal. Therefore, I would choose not to date someone with a cat. I don't think I should be required to be on constant medication in order to be with someone!!

For me, my health is more important than a pet. And I love most animals!  When my brother was born he was severely asthmatic with many allergies, to the point of being hospitalized multiple times. My parents had horses. They chose to get rid of the horses rather than make their child suffer (just being around a parent who had been near the horse made him sick). I think health trumps a pet, even a beloved one.

[Hijinks]

I know a guy who has a long laundry list of what he wants in a woman.  On his list are "virgin who hasn't dated much," is "30 to 35," and "no cats."  Dogs are ok because he has dogs and he loves his dogs    Now, in my eyes, a woman who is a virgin who hasn't dated much and in that age range is probably pretty darn lonely.  But she can't have pets?  He's such a jerk.

[Emmy]

If someone else chose to just give in to their allergies instead of dealing with them, i would think it was they who were turning my cat/dog/pony/parrot/etc. into a deal-breaker, not me.

I think this is very unfair to say someone is "giving in" to their allergies and they are not dealing with them. I have severe allergic reactions to cats and I have asthma. I take medication, but it doesn't clear up all my symptoms. There is nothing wrong with me choosing to not feel sick all the time or be in constant respiratory distress so someone can have an animal. Therefore, I would choose not to date someone with a cat. I don't think I should be required to be on constant medication in order to be with someone!!

For me, my health is more important than a pet. And I love most animals!  When my brother was born he was severely asthmatic with many allergies, to the point of being hospitalized multiple times. My parents had horses. They chose to get rid of the horses rather than make their child suffer (just being around a parent who had been near the horse made him sick). I think health trumps a pet, even a beloved one.

I don't blame somebody for not wanting to be miserable, drugged up, or sick because of an animal that their SO has.  I like animals too, and wouldn't expect somebody to give them up because of allergies.  In this situation, I don't think it is anybody's fault for the animal issue becoming a deal breaker and it's unfair to say the allergic person is 'giving in' to their allergies just like it is unfair to blame the pet owner for caring about their pets more than their SO.  Certain relationships are doomed because there is no solution that would satisfy both people - pet owners and allergic people should beware of this and it probably is best not to continue dating somebody if this will be an unresolvable issue.

I've had pets (mostly dogs) growing up.  My allergies tend to be with cats, some cats don't bother me, however most cats will cause me to cough and sneeze, but with two particular cats my throat closed off and my eyes have swollen shut because of allergies.  If those cats belonged to somebody I was dating, then yes, it would be a deal breaker. 

[Midnight Kitty]

For some reason, cat-allergic people seem drawn to cat lovers the way cats are drawn to the allergic and phobic.

Ain't that the truth, kathrynne!  It has always amazed me how cats have a sixth sense & go directly to the person in the room who least wants to pet them.

If you want to love me, you must love my cats, my bird, the aquariums and my lousy housekeeping. We all go together or you can't get any of us (though if you want to clean, more power to ya!). I could no more live without my critters than without the frequent sarcastic comments and my sense of humor.

You are my soul sister, kathrynne.  My aquarium is at work & DH's bird has to live with the neighbors so she doesn't drive our cats nuts.  Although I never set it as a criteria for a BF when I was single, for some reason I never dated guys (at least not twice) who did not love cats.  They seem to respect independence more than men who describe themselves as "dog lovers."  Even though he grew up in a big city and had no pets growing up, DH loves all animals.  He's my "Dr. Doolittle."  He can talk to the animals and they talk back to him.  He never had a horse before, but he is spot on when reading Misty's body language.  I think he loves her as much as I do, and that's saying a lot.  She is my dream horse.  I'm right there with you on the indifferent housekeeping, sarcastic comments, and warped sense of humor, too

One of the many reasons DH and I got together was our mutual love of the "Three Cs." Cats, computers and coffee are essential to life.

DH doesn't drink coffee, but I love him anyway.  As Meatloaf said, "Two outta three ain't bad."  

[Samantha]

If someone else chose to just give in to their allergies instead of dealing with them, i would think it was they who were turning my cat/dog/pony/parrot/etc. into a deal-breaker, not me.

I don't quite think that is fair. I stated earlier about how I am highly allergic to dogs, but my ex had one. I was able to be around his dog because of how he cared for his dog with the monthly baths and vacuumed regularly. Each dog is different. Each persons reaction to an animal to which they are allergic is different.

I've been on medication for my allergies for 20 years now, so for anyone to state that I'm giving in to my allergies is a bunch of hooey. I take pills, nasal sprays, inhalers and I've had allergy shots. I'm still allergic, and in some cases, it can cause me great difficulty. If I remove myself from a situation or a relationship due to my allergies, it isn't giving in to those allergies. It's having respect for my body, and knowing what my body can and cannot handle.

I can only spend around 30 minutes in my Gramma's house because of her dog, before I start having problems breathing. A few weeks ago, I was in absolute misery because I was on a cross-country flight with a dog (which I hadn't known about until I was getting off the plane). I had thought I had come down with a cold from the traveling I'd done over the last week (two cross country flights in less than 4 days), but after hearing a few barks as I was walking towards the exit, I knew otherwise. I was sneezing so much (and so hard) that my nose was swollen for three days and faintly bruised, even after I'd stopped sneezing. My glasses couldn't sit properly on my face, it was so bad. At least now I know to ask the airline about any animals that may be on the flight, so I can talk to my doctor about other medications I can take to reduce the severity of my reaction.

I take all of my medications as prescribed. But if I were to have a reaction that severe to an animal that belonged to my SO, when on my meds, I'd have to make a choice... The person I am involved with (and their pet), or my health. My health would win. If my SO wants to make a choice of their own about keeping the animal, that is their choice to make. But I know that I won't ask them to make that choice.

[MadMadge43]

For some reason, cat-allergic people seem drawn to cat lovers the way cats are drawn to the allergic and phobic.

Ain't that the truth, kathrynne!  It has always amazed me how cats have a sixth sense & go directly to the person in the room who least wants to pet them.

I actually read a theory as to why this is true. Cats feel eye contact is a form of intimidation/and or being preyed upon. People who like cats usually look at them or try to pay attention. While people who don't like cats usually aren't looking at them. So therefore the cat goes to the person who is not being intimidating or looking at them as they could be lunch.

[StuckInCube]

For some reason, cat-allergic people seem drawn to cat lovers the way cats are drawn to the allergic and phobic.

Ain't that the truth, kathrynne!  It has always amazed me how cats have a sixth sense & go directly to the person in the room who least wants to pet them.

I actually read a theory as to why this is true. Cats feel eye contact is a form of intimidation/and or being preyed upon. People who like cats usually look at them or try to pay attention. While people who don't like cats usually aren't looking at them. So therefore the cat goes to the person who is not being intimidating or looking at them as they could be lunch.

This is why I think cats are evil.   They will not leave me alone. I've tried the stare down method with them with no success. I've verbally threatened them to stay away from me. I've made menacing hand gestures to shoo them away. All I get is the "so what?" look and a cat determined to rub it's dander all over me!

One of my good friends has a cat that I have a love-hate relationship with. That stupid thing stalks me when I'm there. At Christmas my friend gives me my gift and tells me there was a little problem. Apparently out of the huge pile of gifts my friend had sitting out to give to people, the cat chooses to throw up all over mine!! I guess she was making a statement?

Luckily my friends are well versed in my allergies and are not offended when I have to keep my visits very short.

[Trisha]

I would say its a package deal UNLESS you've been dating awhile, pet free and then get a new pet. In that case, if you're in a serious relationship, you should take the SO allergies and preferences into account.

[Venus193]

20 years ago I had a two and a half year relationship with a man who was allergic to cats.... and I had 4 cats.  He talked about getting shots and I was a very scrupulous housekeeper at the time; Felix Unger would have been pleased.  However, when the gentleman had to marry someone else (don't ask; it may as well have been in a novela) I fell into depression and the housekeeping went right out the window.

Since I have Hep C I won't be having any more relationships, but I'm of the Package Deal mindset.  I have three cats now and won't give them up for anything.  They are my babies.  I will have cats for the rest of my life.

[Piyokochan]

My mom and our cats are a package. I and our cats (me and our cats? my grammar could definitely be gooder. xD) are a package.

You don't love cats, I don't love you. >

Also, if you dislike Nena, that is a dealbreaker for me. o__o; You can like Nena, be indifferent to Nena, or not know who Nena is, but if you actively dislike Nena... you suck.

[magicdomino]

I would say its a package deal UNLESS you've been dating awhile, pet free and then get a new pet. In that case, if you're in a serious relationship, you should take the SO allergies and preferences into account.

Good point.  The question of who has been around the longest is an important consideration.