Hey singles-pets as part of the package deal when da[color=black]ting[/color] someone

[ladiedeathe]

When DH and I moved in together I had to give away my 13 yr old big fur puddle of a cat, Spot. THe new apartment didn't take pets and DH winces with disgust when touched by an animal. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make.

DH never asked me to get rid of Spot and made it clear he would be willing to move and take the cat back when the lease was up, but he also pointed out that the horrible wheezing I did, and the gagging choking non-relievable cough, might be from a cat allergy. I poo pooed this because I had always had cats, and, well, it had honestly never occured to me (duh).

I got rid of the cat, and my lifelong cough, choking at night, wheezing, and gasping went away as soon as all the cat hair and dander was finally gone.

I am so glad now that DH's dislike of animals (I adore pets) wasn't a deal breaker. I go to Mom's to visit, and I take both an allergy shot and a pill to deal with the cats and dogs, and in an hour or 2 I'm starting to wheeze anyway. I honestly feel so much better now, I can't imagine how I lived in houses with animals my whole life. I still love my fat cat, just from a distance!

[aiylish]

We're not dating yet and I don't know if we ever will be. I was just bringing it up here for general discussion amongst everyone.

Don't get rid of the cats.

If you're the "right one," adjustments can be made.

That may involve air purifiers, daily vacuuming and even allergy testing/shots.

Two points:  1) Allergy shots may not fix things.  2)  Allergy shots are not without risk.

I am deathly allergic to cats.  I spent 10 minutes in my sister's home, fully medicated, and nearly had to be taken by ambulance.  And yes, her house was clean and recently vaccumed.  I've had literally years of allergy shots.  And, I've twice gone into anaphylactic (sp?) shock from allergy shots.  I nearly died twice from taking allergy shots.  While some people may be able to medicate and be around allergens, don't assume that everyone can. 

[RuneGuardian]

A very close friend of mine has told me that he would date me if I were single, but he didn't know if he could handle living with me because he's very allergic to cats (not deathly, but enough to make breathing very difficult). The funny part is that he loves cats - he coos over pictures of my kitties and he named a cat plushie I made for him after my female kitty, and he said he would love to own a cat one day. He just can't touch them because he gets rashes and his asthma is triggered by the dander.

But my furbabies and I come as a package too - if you don't like cats or are allergic to them, or you otherwise want me to get rid of them, then don't let the door hit you on the way out. I know allergies are no laughing matter, but my cats were here first.

[tiggnduff]

Everyone comes with a certain amount of "stuff"  It may be emotional or physical.  Animals or children (I'm not equating the two just putting the two in the same note).

If someone wants to be with you then there has to be an certain accpetance of that of that "stuff" that comes with you for things to work out.  Somewhere down the line things may change but you have to have the initial acceptance at the beginning for things to go anywhere.

[blarg314]

Everyone has the right to set parameters on what they can handle in a relationship.  Saying "I can't live in the same house as a pet." is just as valid as saying "I won't date anyone who doesn't love my cats"  - neither person is in the wrong, but both need to make it clear early on that it is a deal breaker.   There are people with allergies who can manage, as there are people with cats who would give them to a good home in order to live with the person they love. There are also people who would disown their family before they'd give away a cat, and people whose allergies can't be managed in a house with a pet.