Author Topic: How much energy should you devote to a guy who flirts with a lot of girls?  (Read 9024 times)

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Allyson

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My group of friends is very flirty, and it sometimes can make it hard to tell if someone actually likes you or not! We've gotten a bit less so over the years but it's still pretty normal to see lots of physical contact, joking innuendo, and so on. I love 'absurd' flirting, but am not so into the physical contact stuff. so I'll absolutely declare my mad passion for a friend of mine, or straight-facedly tell someone I'm stalking them.

This guy you met might be someone who is constantly keeping his options open, or he might just be super friendly. Also, he's presumably single right now, and so I wouldn't think it would say much about how he is in a relationship. He might've met you and found you attractive, but also found the other women attractive--in which case following up could be helpful. He would be like 'oh yeah, she was really cute!' and get to know you better.

LadyL

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POD to MacademiaNut.  Yes, what my SO and I do in terms of flirting is the same for men and women - I had never thought of that before.  He flirts with male servers just how he would female servers - it's friendly, not Scrabbly.

This is a good point - it's more like "banter" than flirting. LordL will even through out innuendo laden jokes with his male friends because it's so ridiculous that it's funny (like suggesting what lipstick shade a burly male friend with a beard would look good in or something, and then following it up with a joke about how if I see stains in that color on his shirt collar I know who to blame or something).

bah12

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I agree with those that say it depends.  Both on how you personally feel about him and the type of flirting he does (friendly vs. overly friendly/suggestive).  You need to remember that this is his personality and it's not going to change much even if you and he end up in a serious relationship.  So, considering that it's easier to tolerate this type of behavior when you first meet someone (for me anyway), if his flirting was weird and uncomfortable to you when you met him, you're opinion of it is not likely going to get much better.

If you do like him and you are interested, then I'd suggest seeing if you can get to know him better on a friendly level before you try to date him.  That way, you can gauge if his flirting is something he tempers most of the time, especially if in a relationship, or if the "I'm single and flirting with all these women I've met at this event" guy is who he is all the time.