Author Topic: When "NO" is not enough  (Read 17714 times)

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AustenFan

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #15 on: August 03, 2012, 04:14:20 PM »
Since etiquette and MLM scripts don't exist on the same planet I suggest getting a little more pointed.

When she brings it up heave a sigh and say "I thought we already discussed this and I said No." When she presses say "listen, I already said I'm not interested so I'm going to let you go. Have a good day, bye" and hang up, but you have to train yourself to hang up instead of continiung to object or allowing her to press the issue. She will have conversation scripts specially designed to refute every possible refusal you could give her, so a blanket NO is the ony way to go.

If she's as pushy with everyone as she is with you then I can pretty much guarantee this will be the politest conversation she has for a long time.

buvezdevin

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #16 on: August 03, 2012, 06:12:33 PM »
I'd have a call when calmer, and let you sister know you'll be following up with an email to ensure the following points are understood for both your sakes, in order to continue an actual relationship, beyond sharing relatives:

1.  The rule for keeping our relationship healthy for both of us is that the following points are observed:
  A.  When we may have different opinions, or feel a desire to persuade the other of *anything* including, but not limited to selling, either person may say "I am not interested in discussing this further" which we agree will be the other person's signal to either change topics entirely or politely end the discussion.
  B.  no contact information for either of us will ever be given to anyone or any organization, without that person's written okay in an email.
  C.  Whatever your sister may wish to add with which you agree as a guiding rule.
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink -- under any circumstances.
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PastryGoddess

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #17 on: August 03, 2012, 06:47:43 PM »
I don't know how convenient this is for you, but you may want to get a google number.  I have one and it has been a life saver.  My favorite feature is the spam button.  With one click you can block someone's phone number and never have to worry about them again. :)

SpottedPony

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #18 on: August 04, 2012, 09:24:42 AM »
After your update about the identity theft and its aftermath, I think you would be justified in taking off the kid gloves of calm politeness and tear a few off her with calm, controled fury.  Knowing what happened to you and knowing why you moved to get away from the drama and then giving out your contact information without your permission is way over the line.  Apparently she sees your polite no's as maybe instead and keeps trying, you need to get angry and make it very clear that you are beyond angry with her and are cutting her off.  She needs to be shocked into realizing that you are indeed serious about this and she needs to mend her ways if she wants to maintain her relationship with you. 

Good luck.

Spotted Pony

weeblewobble

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #19 on: August 16, 2012, 06:44:06 PM »
The thing is, you're having the exact same argument that led to your estrangement.  It's not about politics or sales positions.  It's about your sister's inability to accept that you think differently than she does and don't want to mimic all of her choices.  Given the update, I would go back to non-contact for a while.  You can't trust her to make good choices in terms of what affects you.

Twik

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #20 on: September 28, 2012, 10:47:47 AM »
I think you have to be direct, because MLMers are not going to back off easily.

"Sister, I am not going to join your group. Not now, not ever. I don't want to hear about it again. If you insist on bringing it up, the conversation will be over."

If she gets into a huff and stops speaking to you, it just means that she doesn't respect you. And do you want to waste time with someone who views you not as a sister, but as a business contact?
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

bopper

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #21 on: October 01, 2012, 03:26:41 PM »
"Sis, you keep trying to "convert" me...be it to your political party or new business venture. I applaud your passion, but I am not interested in being converted. I have told you I am not interested multiple times...Right now it seems that the only two options are that You Stop Talking to me about Politics and <MLM> (and that includes having other people talk about MLM), or I have to stop taking calls from you. I really prefer option 1."

mrkitty

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2012, 05:43:30 PM »
Well, here's an update, if anyone is interested:

The whole issue is now moot, as DS and her DH are now persona non grata over here at the Mr Kitty residence.

After yet another bout of calling and emailing me trying to get me to sign up, I finally sent her an email politely but firmly telling her to STOP with the mlm recruitment. It was not going to happen and I wanted to hear no more of it.

Well, a few hours later I received a hostile diatribe detailing every real and imagined fault I ever had....with some vile and disturbing accusations about politics thrown in besides. Though I was tempted to, I did not respond, even though my brother, who can't stand her, offered to pen a vitriolic response on my behalf.

Then, on election night, at around 11:30 pm after the election was called, Dear Sister's husband called me every five minutes until 1 am leaving hostile, vitriolic and insulting messages for me and my husband because we did not vote the way he instructed us to.

And.....now we're done.

P.S. I don't care what anyone's politics are. The issue isn't politics, but rather how one expresses one's opinions. My brother and myself, well, we are of different parties. We disagree on some things, agree on others, and agree to disagree on yet others. Yet, we can talk all day about it, debating issues, and it does not devolve into insults, name calling or threats - because we keep the debate solutions-based and refrain from using ad homonym and other types of arguments. We also acknowledge that all political parties have valid ideas and are just as American as all others. In other words, we keep it civil, and the discussions are truly a pleasure, unlike my sister and her husband, who prefer brow beating. This is about them personally, NOT their political persuasion.
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

PastryGoddess

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2012, 07:02:34 PM »
Virtual double fudge chocolate chip cookies to you for having to deal with sis and hubs

mrkitty

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2012, 08:06:23 PM »
Why, thank you! I think I'll just go ahead and help myself....mmmmm, delicious!

The taste of liberating myself from someone who  is verbally abusive and unrepentantly violates most of my boundaries is rather intoxicating....

Thank you everyone for your moral support. :)
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2012, 08:08:00 PM »
I'll pass over a rum special.  I'm thinking I'd like one myself and they say you shouldn't drink alone.   :)
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

mrkitty

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2012, 08:26:44 PM »
Dear Outdoor Girl,

I'll just go ahead and take you up on that. It is, after all, after 4 pm and an evening toddy, in this weather, is most welcome.  ;D
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #27 on: December 13, 2012, 08:36:53 PM »
I'll just go pour, then, shall I?    :D
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

mrkitty

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #28 on: December 13, 2012, 08:53:25 PM »
Oh, please do! In fact, I'll take two.... ;D

It's so nice to do, especially now that I don't have to hear the million or so things wrong with me...and how I'll burn in He**, and how I'm ruining the world with my vile presence....

Please, pour away! This DOES deserve a celebration!
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

PastryGoddess

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Re: When "NO" is not enough
« Reply #29 on: December 13, 2012, 09:01:40 PM »
I'll take one...or four :)  with the sounds of Ding! Dong! The Witch is Dead! playing in the background