Wedding Classic: Possibly Fictional Titanic Bride

[Scritzy]

One of hubby's stepcousins had that "My Heart Will Go On" song at his wedding. I looked at hubby when we were in the car and said "That song is about someone DYING!!!"
I think that I'm going to start the trend of Hindenburg weddings, you know everyone in thirties clothes, little fires burning on the tables....
Or maybe Lusitania theme, or Alamo.....

Or the Pompeii wedding … everyone in togas, with a big explosion and lava (or maybe champagne) running over everyone …

Or the San Francisco Earthquake wedding … that would really rock the house …

Or the General Slocum wedding on a burning ship …

(Can anyone tell I'm a student of disasters?)

[LJM]

The first time I read it I didn't catch all the "Romance novel/disney movie" reasons why it was probably fiction which others have since pointed out. But there was one thing that kept bothering me even so:

Chartering an ocean liner is no small feat. While I don't doubt there are people who can do it, there aren't that many. The writer also implies that the groom is a minor celebrety of an inventor/business person/whatever-- and this is exactly the kind of story the media would love to get their hands on if true. So, if this big a fiasco had gone down this publically with this many guests and cruise ship employees present, I found it highly unlikely that not one of these people would blab to the media.

I mean, come on-- not one underpaid dishwasher? Not one disgruntled guest? No one but the writer told anyone publically, and she just sent it to a website? Look at the news-stories posted on Faux Pas of the Rich and Famous-- what would the outlets that covered those stories have done with this one?

I couldn't help but think that if this had really happened, we would already have known about it, becuase no amont of PR-wrangling and "trying to keep it quiet" could have kept this story out of the papers.

[Lunadiana75]

I want a Salem Witch Trials wedding.  It'll be a treat for the guests who get out of hanging.

[Scritzy]

I want a Salem Witch Trials wedding.  It'll be a treat for the guests who get out of hanging.

You just made my day, and I'm having a very bad day. So I lift my Coke in your honor!

[Brentwood]

"The next morning dawned bright and early"?

"I went on deck to take some air"?

Do we have an icon for ROFL?

[Scritzy]

Here's one:

[Brentwood]

Here's one:

Perfect!

This story is not only undoubtdly fiction, it's not particularly well-written fiction.

[Scritzy]

If it were a book, the cover would be a picture of the bridesmaid, in a lovely gown falling off her shoulders, with beloved Warren sweeping her into his arms and nuzzling her neck.

I can see it now. Titanic Bride.

Maybe she was trying to write the world's worst romance novel.

[Asharah]

Anyway, back to her engagement. William designed something, which I will leave unknown because he is a good person and I don't want him embarrassed (and it's nothing technological either), and made millions. He had left town before her "transformation" and met her while he was on a vacation to Italy. She "charmed" him, and he proposed before his visit to Milan was over. It was an extended trip, and she was on it with another boyfriend, who was trying to "win" his way into her panties. She had not had sex with him, but did with William. Within the month she claimed to be pregnant, and he is too much of a man than to run or question his obligations. So he did what he felt best-proposed. They left Italy together soon after that.


[He’s a perfect self-made man, a worldly, romantic traveler and a gentleman tricked by evil stepsister. He is, shall we say, a prince. (Literally? IS he Prince William?) I’m also suspicious of the time frame - OK, I know technically you can go from not preggers to preggers in two weeks, but Isuspect the time frame nonetheless.]

Missed one of the "Soap Opera" elements there. A man smart enough to be a self-made millionaire is too d*** stupid to get verification that the woman he is marrying only because she is pregnant is really pregnant before he actually marries her? He's so rich he spends an arm and a leg for a ridiculously expensive wedding, but doesn't bother to spring for an EPT test first? He's so concerned about the baby that he's willing to marry somebody he doesn't love, but never asks to accompany the mother to a prenantal checkup? I've seen this STUPID scenario played out countless times on TV and even then I think it's perposterous. But in Real Life?

[Twik]

Actually, I think there may be a grain of truth in this story.

I think, possibly, the writer has a cousin "Jennifer", who she doesn't like very much. Possibly "Jennifer" also became romantically involved with a man the writer would rather have become involved with her.

Everything else? Wishful thinking.

(My nitpick at the story - she says in her home town "everyone" knew that Jennifer was a, um, "courtesan", was how she put it. Yet Prince William, who had dated the writer, was apparently totally unaware of this. So, apparently, he never came into contact with anyone else from the writer's home town?

Also, someone who uses the term "courtesan" would probably fantasize about a Titanic wedding.)

The only note she missed in this romance was the cause of the original breakup between her and William. It should have turned out that Jennifer had spread vicious gossip about her, causing William to doubt her intentions. Then, he'd explain how he'd fallen back in love with her when he realized Jennifer had been lying to him about that as well.

[Tosha Go]

A man smart enough to be a self-made millionaire is too d*** stupid to get verification that the woman he is marrying only because she is pregnant is really pregnant before he actually marries her? He's so rich he spends an arm and a leg for a ridiculously expensive wedding, but doesn't bother to spring for an EPT test first? He's so concerned about the baby that he's willing to marry somebody he doesn't love, but never asks to accompany the mother to a prenantal checkup? I've seen this STUPID scenario played out countless times on TV and even then I think it's perposterous. But in Real Life?

A man smart enough to be self-made millionaire is smart enough to wear a rubber...

One would hope.... 

[RJeeves]

A man smart enough to be a self-made millionaire is too d*** stupid to get verification that the woman he is marrying only because she is pregnant is really pregnant before he actually marries her? He's so rich he spends an arm and a leg for a ridiculously expensive wedding, but doesn't bother to spring for an EPT test first? He's so concerned about the baby that he's willing to marry somebody he doesn't love, but never asks to accompany the mother to a prenantal checkup? I've seen this STUPID scenario played out countless times on TV and even then I think it's perposterous. But in Real Life?

A man smart enough to be self-made millionaire is smart enough to wear a rubber...

One would hope.... 

You'd think, right? My job puts me in contact with men who have made lots of money off their brains at pretty young age and you wouldn't believe the kind of stupid situations they get themselves into with women.

The fact that he'd fall for her being pregnant was about the only believable part of that story to me.

[blue2000]

I kind of wondered why so many people were willing to do anything not to upset her, so the baby wouldn't be harmed, but they were willing to let her get stinking drunk, and slip pills into her drinks?!

Since when is a tantrum more harmful than vodka and pills?!

(My nitpick at the story - she says in her home town "everyone" knew that Jennifer was a, um, "courtesan", was how she put it. Yet Prince William, who had dated the writer, was apparently totally unaware of this. So, apparently, he never came into contact with anyone else from the writer's home town?

Supposedly he LIVED there as a young man, and dated the writer then, but left before Jennifer got really bad. Considering she has supposedly been bad since she was a young teen, the writer is either about ten years older than Jennifer, or just had some kind of kiddie crush on William as a young girl.

Which doesn't explain how come William apparently never went back to town, or kept in touch with anyone else, because a juicy bit of gossip like a girl turning into a "courtesan" would have reached his ears eventually. She had a court case with one of her boyfriends! That would have been town gossip for months, if not years!

Even if he somehow lived in isolation before he met her, surely his old friends would have enlightened him before the wedding? You don't usually let someone you know marry that kind of person without warning them! But apparently he didn't know any of this "courtesan" or "goldigger" stuff beforehand, because when it came out at the reception, he was surprised!

For such a smart, rich, young inventor, he sure comes across as a dimbulb.

[Hawkwatcher]

How many people do you know who use the term "courtesan?"

[Brentwood]

How many people do you know who use the term "courtesan?"

About as many who say they are going to "take the air" on deck.