General Etiquette > Family and Children

S/O the camping thread-DD got stood up :( Non-update today

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guihong:
Hi, all:

I realize my thread about DD and the camping trip got locked; I don't think that was about me, but possibly a cultural difference that sidelined things.  I hope it's OK to post an update.

I scotched the camping part, for all the reasons in that thread.  A day or so later, Becky came back with an amended plan: they were still going to the lake, but no men or alcohol, and it was just for the afternoon.  It was "Lexie"'s birthday party, and her grandmother was also going.   DH and I decided to let her go, with the caveat that there would be cell phone connection (I confirmed this with the park), lifeguards at the lake, and home before dark.  DD's friend "Hannah" was also going.

 We also sat DD (and DS) down, and told them that whenever they are out somewhere, I don't care where, and they feel something is wrong, that they can call us and we will come pick them up, no questions asked.  At any hour.  I don't care how far it is.  We would discuss what happened later, but neither of us would be angry at them for calling.  That was my parents' rule for me, and it was reassuring.

Well, unbeknownst to me, two nights ago or so, "Dwayne" and Becky got into a fight (again) and he threw her and her kids out (again).  They split, for who knows where, without any call, any note, no FB, nothing :(.  DD and Hannah were out waiting for Becky to pick them up this morning for 45 minutes.  Dwayne was not home, and Becky's phone went to voicemail.  We didn't have the grandmother's phone.  So they got stood up :(. 

As an aside, back in February I allowed DD to go to the grandmother's house with Lexie (she had done so successfully and without incident several times before).  This was a couple hours trip away.  When I called DD with the horrifying news of her dad's accident, they happened to be in a Staples store.  Grandma kept DD waiting for 30 minutes while she shopped, before bringing her home  :'(.  If it was a kid in my care, I would have flown like Superman to get the child home.

DD doesn't seem tremendously disappointed.  I did ask her if she was all that surprised that something flaky happened, and she said "no".  I also told her that with the history of inconsiderate and just plain flaky things, that it probably would be best not to accept any more invitations to do anything with that family.  It's just not worth the drama.  I feel most sorry for Lexie, whose birthday is ruined and she's yanked back and forth yet again.

I say "don't accept invitations from that family", future tense, because both of us give Dwayne and Becky's chances of staying broke up about the same as it's going to snow tomorrow.  Maybe I'll be wrong, but I doubt it.

Of course, "Dwayne's" daughter "Miranda" just showed up at our door and told us that her birthday (age 13) is coming up next week, and would DD like to go to a water park on Monday (like Typhoon Lagoon).   I said, "Well, that sounds OK; your dad is taking you?"  "Oh, he has to work; he was going to drop us off"  :o ::).  Drop them off at a water park at 13??  Hannah was also invited, but hadn't asked her dad yet.  I don't think so.

Blech.

kherbert05:
Personally I don't think 13 is to young to be dropped off at a water park. I was dropped off younger than that with friends at waterworld and astroworld. We spent a lot of time there with passes.  The world is a safer place now than then. My mom and my friends' mom knew that we respected water and rules. The problem here is that I don't think you should trust any of your downstairs neighbors any further than you can throw them.

Roe:
If I were you, I'd make it clear to that family that they should no longer extend invitations to your DD.  It'll make things so much easier if the drama doesn't even knock at your door. 

artk2002:

--- Quote from: kherbert05 on August 04, 2012, 11:59:48 AM ---Personally I don't think 13 is to young to be dropped off at a water park. I was dropped off younger than that with friends at waterworld and astroworld. We spent a lot of time there with passes.  The world is a safer place now than then. My mom and my friends' mom knew that we respected water and rules. The problem here is that I don't think you should trust any of your downstairs neighbors any further than you can throw them.

--- End quote ---

I agree. 13 is an age where a kid might (or even probably) be OK being dropped off, but it depends on the 13yo and who they are being dropped off with. There are kids I'd be fine with my sons hanging around unsupervised at 13 and others that I wouldn't trust at all. The context here is a bunch of people who can't manage their own lives, much less OP's DD. I'd be having doubts about this with my own sons and they're 15 and almost 17, and we leave them to run around Disneyland and Six Flags with friends all the time.

MariaE:

--- Quote from: artk2002 on August 04, 2012, 12:44:03 PM ---
--- Quote from: kherbert05 on August 04, 2012, 11:59:48 AM ---Personally I don't think 13 is to young to be dropped off at a water park. I was dropped off younger than that with friends at waterworld and astroworld. We spent a lot of time there with passes.  The world is a safer place now than then. My mom and my friends' mom knew that we respected water and rules. The problem here is that I don't think you should trust any of your downstairs neighbors any further than you can throw them.

--- End quote ---

I agree. 13 is an age where a kid might (or even probably) be OK being dropped off, but it depends on the 13yo and who they are being dropped off with. There are kids I'd be fine with my sons hanging around unsupervised at 13 and others that I wouldn't trust at all. The context here is a bunch of people who can't manage their own lives, much less OP's DD. I'd be having doubts about this with my own sons and they're 15 and almost 17, and we leave them to run around Disneyland and Six Flags with friends all the time.

--- End quote ---

Yup. My best friend and I were dropped off at water parks alone all the time when we were 13, but both sets of parents knew that we were girls who took being goodie-two-shoes to ridiculous levels ;)

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