OP, glad things went well. Sounds like a good time!
it is insulting to not take no for an answer bc it implies I cannot adequately provide for my guests.
I think that's taking things a bit too personally, and assuming the worst of your chosen guest's intentions.
But, I suppose I can appreciate your firm stance on nobody bringing anything to your parties. How do you respond when they ask, "What can I bring?" What if they insist? How do you politely decline when they don't take no for an answer?
Perhaps that is a bit out of context. I don't take it personally, but it is extremely frustrating when I invite people over, answer 'just yourselves' and the insistence starts. It puts the hostess in an awkward position. I don't want anyone's help. If I wanted help, I would ask for it or have a potluck.
Just as it is rude to bring an uninvited guest, it is also rude to put the hostess on the spot with desires to help or contribute to a party for which she already has a vision. To me, it is turning my fully hosted party into a form of potluck and then other guests would be embarrassed they didn't bring something.
If they insist, I say, "really, I have it covered. If you absolutely must bring something, then a bottle of wine". Those people who continually insist, won't take no for an answer or worse, bring something when told not to, usually are off my invite list. It never fails, as people are arriving, I already have my table set just so and then people show up with food that forces me to realign my already done table.
I am known as a very good cook. People like coming to our house. When I entertain, I invite them to provide the food, booze, beverages and entertainment. They don't need to contribute to my party. Their presence does.
When I am invited to someone's home, I always ask if I can bring something. If told no, I don't insist, I respect the hostess and then bring a hostess gift that doesn't infiltrate her party.