Author Topic: BF wont stop calling me on vacation  (Read 7473 times)

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ILoveMyCello

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BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« on: August 05, 2012, 10:01:26 PM »
I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 months, and I love him very much :). We are both on separate family vacations this week, Im on the beach and he's at his family's cabin in Canada. However he is calling me non stop. I like talking to him but it's expensive to call Canada and I want to relax this week! What do I say to him without hurting his feelings?

Sharnita

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #1 on: August 05, 2012, 10:15:26 PM »
Stop answering? Shut off your phone if you have to.  If you must leave it on for an hour a day and pnly talk to him then,And give him this month's bill when it comes.

greencat

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #2 on: August 05, 2012, 11:02:47 PM »
Give him a specific time to call you - tell him you're going to have your phone off the rest of the day as the calls are racking up your international long distance bill.

Viscountess

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #3 on: August 05, 2012, 11:17:31 PM »
You can let him know how expensive it is to call Canada and that you're not comfortable with that.  If that doesn't work, maybe shut your phone off for awhile or let it roll to voice mail.
"If you don't like something, then change it.  If you can't change it, then change your attitude towards it."

Shoo

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #4 on: August 05, 2012, 11:29:37 PM »
It sounds like he's bored.  I like the idea of planning a specific time to talk, like, say, at the end of the day right before bed, so you can talk about what you did that day and say goodnight. 

Iris

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2012, 02:57:40 AM »
Send him the mp3 to Lady Gaga's "Telephone" and tell him you found a great new ringtone that really makes you think of him?

Not really. I would just suggest not answering during the day and then at a time you are comfortable doing so, call and say "Oh, sorry I missed your call! We were so busy snipe hunting that I just didn't hear the phone! Actually we're super busy the next few days so can we set up a specific time to catch up? 7 o'clock would be great! Love you! Bye!"
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2012, 08:49:09 AM »
I agree with either setting it to silent or turning it off, and letting it go to VM.  Personally I think it's rather rude to constantly call someone when they're on vacation.  Especially when it would cost them, as even if the callee wasn't in another country, some companies will charge more when you're roaming.  I'm sure he misses you, but he's not really giving you a chance to miss him, is he?

I went on a trip to visit a friend about 4 years ago, as we hadn't seen each other for years since we live on opposite ends of the country.  My first day there another friend called and I told him "Hey I'm on vacation for the next few days, but DH is home, will talk to you when I get back!"  He said okay...and then called me several times for the rest of the time I was there. I just ignored it and deleted the increasingly whiny and pouty voicemails, wanting to know why I wouldn't call him back, why wasn't DH answering or returning his calls? (turns out he was pestering dh as much as he was pestering me)

When I got back to the East Coast, we gave the guy the cut direct for a few months.
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Decimus

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #7 on: August 06, 2012, 11:20:55 AM »
Is he aware it's costing you extra?  It's possible he has a plan that includes Canada and/and doesn't realize yours costs you extra to receive calls from Canada (which, if I understand your post correctly, is the case?).  I'd just mention that you love to talk to him but you're over your phone budget for the month.  Either he'll abjectly apologise, or you'll realize you've got a relationship problem.

bah12

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2012, 02:48:46 PM »
Is the first time you've been separated for any length of time?  Because it's an indication of how he handles separation different than you.  Some people need/desire the constant connection when physically separate, while others feel smotherd by it.  Sine you stated you'd rather relax than talk, it's clear that the calls, for you, are not at all the relaxing vacation you want to enjoy.

In that respect, I go for telling him the truth.  The calls are costing you too much and you are overwhelmed by them.  Then set up specific dates/times when you can talk.

PastryGoddess

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2012, 08:29:57 PM »
He is telling you something very important about himself and you need to pay attention to it.  You also need to decide if it is something you can handle for the duration of your relationship.


The Wild One, Forever

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2012, 09:54:20 PM »
He is telling you something very important about himself and you need to pay attention to it.  You also need to decide if it is something you can handle for the duration of your relationship.

Very wise advice, here.
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MacadamiaNut

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2012, 12:35:15 AM »
I know you'll have roaming charges, but I don't see how him calling you from Canada is costing you anything more than roaming charges.  Am I missing something about cell phone plans where you live?

BTW, I'm not dismissing roaming charges.  They are horrendous and you have every right to want to keep them at minimum.   I'd let him know your roaming policy now and while you're at it, your vacation policy.  Those are your two main issues, yes?

Sounds like he has a bit of separation anxiety.  Which can be kind of cute or not.  You can decide that.  Or maybe he is doing it because he thinks that's what you want.

I think the best thing would be to just tell him some of what you wrote in the OP and what other posters suggested:  "I like talking to you but it's too expensive to call Canada (or roam) and I really want to relax this week! take advantage of my time on this vacation.  I miss talking to you though and don't want to miss your call.  Can we set a time to talk each day?  I'm good for 7 o'clock, how about you?" Or something like that.
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greencat

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2012, 03:53:56 AM »
International calls are still usually charged at a per-minute premium unless your cellphone plan was set up to include them.

Sharnita

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2012, 06:43:12 AM »
International calls are still usually charged at a per-minute premium unless your cellphone plan was set up to include them.
OP, do you live close to Canada , where a lot of people might have plans that include it?  It might help explain his difficulty in "getting it".

cicero

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Re: BF wont stop calling me on vacation
« Reply #14 on: August 08, 2012, 07:09:00 AM »
by "calling me non stop" - what do you mean? how many times a day (an hour) is he calling? when you are *not* on separate vacations, how often do you see each other?

I agree with this
It sounds like he's bored.  I like the idea of planning a specific time to talk, like, say, at the end of the day right before bed, so you can talk about what you did that day and say goodnight. 

but i also agree with this
He is telling you something very important about himself and you need to pay attention to it.  You also need to decide if it is something you can handle for the duration of your relationship.



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