General Etiquette > Family and Children

Offensive Email

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VltGrantham:
My brother included us in a mass email he forwarded that included a picture of Chik-Fil-A surrounded by many people and the words "Bet you'd never see that many Christians lined up to help at a food bank or homeless shelter.  And that's something Jesus actually said to do."

I read it several times and then asked my husband to look at it because I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing.  We were both extremely offended by it since we are both practicing Christians.  I also work in ministry and I can honestly say that our family participates, along with hundreds of other people, every week, month, and year in activities to feed the hungry and assist the homeless.

I wrote my brother and said "Hey, perhaps you weren't aware, but this is very offensive.  Not all Christians are against marriage equality and many of us do work to feed the hungry and support the homeless.  I am very surprised that you would send something like to us given that we are practicing faithful Christians.  It is not right to paint all of us with the same brush."

I should mention that my brother does not participate in any charitable work, either through volunteering or donation--as he's made clear many times over.  So how would he know how many people turn up or don't?  On the other hand, our Mother, our family, and our church do actively participate in these ministries and there are usually hordes of, yes, Christian volunteers!

My brother's response was typical of him--arrogant and rude.  He claims that because the picture doesn't say "all" Christians, that it doesn't apply to everyone, but it certainly doesn't say "some" either.  Not to mention, in my opinion, the real test is can you substitute any other demographic and still say it's not offensive?  If you replaced the word Christian with sexual orientation, gender, ethnicity, or other religious group of your choice, it would still be hideously offensive.

He also says that religion only has itself to blame and that if we really are Christians for marriage equality, we would actively try to change society's perception of it.  First of all, how does he know we don't already?  Because we don't participate in marches?  Because we aren't forwarding emails like this to others?  I can't see how you can denounce someone's beliefs or practices without having first hand knowledge of what they are actively doing and/or cry that accusing a demographic they fall into of something isn't horribly offensive.  There are only so many causes I can devote myself to and still have time for my husband, family, and home.  I am very outspoken in my beliefs for marriage equality and we do donate to groups that are working for equal rights, but no, I have not participated in marches or sit-ins.

(I didn't support Chik-Fil-A either, but that's because I generally don't like the taste of their food so I'm not boycotting/supporting them any more than I normally would.)

This is very typical of my brother and it's getting to be very annoying.  He likes to act as though he is the expert on everything, is smarter than everyone else, and generally has no compassion for anyone or anything other than himself.  I wish I could be like my daughter and just love him through his cranky superiority complex, but it's almost impossible.  The older he gets, the worse it becomes, and it's maddening because I see him do nothing/care for nothing other than himself.

If I set my filters to forward everything from him into the junk folder, I'm concerned I'll miss something important--but at the same time, I'd kinda like to and then when he says something say "well, I had to start sending your emails to the junk pile because you are apparently not understanding or respectful of why I would find many of them so offensive."

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