A big dealbreaker for me would be people who condescend, patronize, or belittle me because I have chosen to be a SAHM. Yes, I am a housewife, and the SAHM of two kids (so far...). Yet, believe it or not, my brain still works. I am not some blithering idiot who stays at home, sheltered in her kitchen, because the workforce is just too scary and intimidating for my little domestic brain. I am still an intelligent, curious woman, interested in and fascinated by a wide variety of subjects, and more than capable of holding her own in conversations on topics ranging from literature to art to politics. No, I do not consider my role as a SAHM to be a waste of my double major, Ivy League degree. I do hope eventually to go to grad school, earn a Ph.D., and teach, but right now, my kids need me full time, and I don't consider it to be a waste of my brains, talents, or "potential" to be home with them. (I tend to view education as an end in and of itself, not simply as a means to a high-paying job. Plus, I feel that having received the education I did enables me to stay curious and intellectually active and helps me be a better, happier, more well-rounded person, which in turn helps me be a better, happier mom. I also plan to homeschool my kids, so having that degree will come in useful there.)
I may not work. I may not be earning a high salary. I may not be out in the world, blazing paths and forging trails and doing Big, Important Things. But that doesn't make me some brainless moron incapable of understanding anything more complex than Jerry Springer, and it doesn't make me less of a person. So don't treat me like that.
Wow, that turned into a bit of a rant, didn't it? Sorry...this is a bit of a sore point for me (in case that wasn't clear!)!