How to stop feeling ugly

[Judah]

Here's my recipe for being beautiful:

* Groom your self and wear an outfit you feel comfortable in and that fits you well and is situation appropriate.
* Jazz up your outfit with a spectacular accessory (purse, hat, statement piece of jewelry)

^ These two are your base. They don't make you beautiful on their own, they just give you baseline confidence that A) you are pulled together and B) the striking thing people will remember about your physical appearance is that accessory.

* Be healthy, even if just for today.  Every journey begins with one step, and its ok to not be 'there' yet, but have a healthy breakfast or its too late for that, a healthy lunch.  Do something physical whether its a 5 mile jog or its 3 flights of stairs - whatever your level is, do it.

^ This will shine through.  This will lift your personal spirits because your body will know its being loved and cared for and your body will repay you with a glow.

* Do something nice for someone else.  Let a car merge into traffic, hold open a door for a mom with a stroller, super big smile to a cashier, bring a cup of coffee to the frazzled receptionist.

^ Doing something nice for someone else will result in them seeing your spirit and they will smile and thank you from a genuine place.

* Sing.  Even if you are terrible, even if its just a commercial jingle.  Bop your head and shimmy your but a bit and sing with every part of your body.

^ Singing raises endorphins and will make you smile and honest smile.  Everyone has a lovely honest smile.

* Treat yourself to something positive.  A manicure, a walk in the park, the scenic drive home, a stop in Sephora to try some new make-up (even if you don't buy), an internet game break - whatever works for you.
* Do a puzzle.  Suduku, crossword, crypto-quote, maze, whatever.

^ These will help reset your brain to a different outlook.  Even if they alone don't make you feel beautiful, they will distract you from feeling ugly.

This is perfect, but I would add one more thing:

*Stop comparing yourself to other people.  Everyone, everyone, has insecurities, the trick is to be the best, prettiest me I can be.  I won't ever win a beauty contest, but that's okay because I know where my strengths lie, and I know I look the best I can look, even if that's not like the cover of a magazine.

[Dazi]

I thought about putting this one in the hugs folder, but on reflection I don't really need a hug, just thoughts. I think every woman gets days when they just feel really unattractive. For me, today is just one of those days. I feel hideous, and very 'at odds' with myself if that makes sense. Looking at photos of myself makes it even worse. I'm not helped, I think, by the fact that I am a twenty-eight year old who is surrounded by eighteen, nineteen and twenty year olds. I can spend a small fortune on skincare, and still feel old, tired and washed out. What sucks is that I didn't feel attractive at that age, either, but at least I didn't feel OLD! Can anyone else identify?

Hon, I think just about every woman feels that way at some point or another.  Some more often than others.

I know when I get in a funk like that, I treat myself.  Whether it's a great hair cut, tweeking the color, getting that crazy pair of shoes or a new outfit.  Today I was feeling that frumpy funk so I went and had a mani/pedi and got a bright fun nail color and got my eyebrows waxed.  I feel much better after being pampered.

And if all else fails, I clean. If I can't feel pretty, my house can look pretty.  Besides, I can't keep up a funk when I am scrubbing and vacuuming, I just can't.   

[hobish]

I thought about putting this one in the hugs folder, but on reflection I don't really need a hug, just thoughts. I think every woman gets days when they just feel really unattractive. For me, today is just one of those days. I feel hideous, and very 'at odds' with myself if that makes sense. Looking at photos of myself makes it even worse. I'm not helped, I think, by the fact that I am a twenty-eight year old who is surrounded by eighteen, nineteen and twenty year olds. I can spend a small fortune on skincare, and still feel old, tired and washed out. What sucks is that I didn't feel attractive at that age, either, but at least I didn't feel OLD! Can anyone else identify?

Yep. Sort of, maybe. I am 38. At 28 I thought I should look better, dress better, have more money, be more responsible, have a better job ... i just felt all blehh! I still do sometimes. I like to blast the stereo and dance around.

[Emmy]

Start here:

http://www.beautyredefined.net

 

Seconded!

Actually, I've found the number one thing you can do to make yourself feel beautiful is to tell yourself you're awesome and then go out and act as if that's true. And soon, it will be. It sounds like a cliche, and yes, it's easier said than done, but confidence is beautiful. I'm not much to look at, for example, but when I forget about that, others do too. I've had people fail to recognise me in photos because I "didn't look half as good as I seemed in real life"!

That's very true.  I remember in high school I thought the most popular girls were beautiful.  They believed it and they looked, dressed, and acted the part.  They had the confidence so everybody else thought they had it going on too.  Looking back at old year book pictures, many of the quieter less trendy girls were actually more beautiful (in my opinion).

I do think I lack confidence.  One negative comment about my looks drowns out 20 positive comments.  My nature is to tend to let other people's opinion matter too much (especially the people who are negative and shouldn't matter).  A lady trying to push make-up or a weasel at a nightclub makes a negative comment and it fills me with self-doubt for days.  I hate that I let their opinions count for so much, they really aren't worth it.

Most people can't wave a magic wand and make themselves feel better.  I agree with the idea other posters had.  Pamper yourself in some way or do something that takes your focus off your looks entirely, like go on a bike ride, a day at the amusement part, spend time enjoying nature, volunteering, or whatever else you like to do.