General Etiquette > Family and Children

Poor Little Dog

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Iris:
You don't have to keep the dog. I like sweetonsno's advice for how to go about it.

One thing bothered me though - if the dog tried to kill your cat are you sure it's a good match for a family? Do they have young children? English Bulldogs are typically a very placid breed from memory, so this kind of bothered me. Even if its aggression is only towards cats I'd be kind of annoyed if someone rehomed a dog with me without letting me know about that.

SPuck:
This is a situation where you have to shore up your spine against those big puppy dog eyes and your ex-husband's whimpering. Your the one doing him a favor and taking the risk with your cat and potentially straining the relationship with your landlord. You have to give your ex a date for when the dog has to leave and look up alternative housing and the potential legal ramifications of getting rid of a dog that is technically not yours.

Margo:
I think you need to deal with you ex BIL directly: it's his dog. (and possibly copying any communication to his ex - she may not want the dog either, but her views may be different if it is a case of Dog being rehomed to stangers)

Write/E-mail him, tell him you agreed to take in the dog as a short-term, emergency measure. Explain that you cannot keep the dog as it has attacked your cat, and that even if this were not the case, your lease does not allow you to have a dog and you have been able to negotiate a short exemption only.

Tell he that he must collect the dog by [date] at the latest, and that if he does not, you will have no alternative but to treat the dog as abandoned and will take it to the nearest no kill shelter, becasue you cannot keep it.

If he (or your ex or exBIL's ex) try to persaude you or to make out that you are being mean or unhelpful, keep repeating this - the point to stress is that you cannnot (not don't want to, not won't, but can't) help any further than you already have.

Also, I persoanlly would tell ex that he needs to take the dog. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me for your cat to be truamatised by being attacked and then taken to a strange place - instead of moving your cat, why doesn';t your ex make arrangements to kepp his dog and his brother's dog in separate parts of his home?  I can understand asking you to look after the dog in the first instance when he found his dog attacked it, but once you knew it attacked your dog, then that situation changes. Why is it you and your pet trying to sort this ratehr than your ex and his?

Hmmmmm:
I agree you need to remove Ex from the conversation.  Tell BIL you'll keep the dog till next Saturday and he either needs to come get, your Ex needs to get it (and figure out his own method for dealing with the two dogs) or it will be going to a no kill shelter. 

It's unfair to you and your cat to put you in this position. 

Dr. F.:
If necessary, rather than going to a shelter, contact a breed rescue organization and see if they can help.

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