Thank you, reading your responses is actually reminding me that this is similar to how coming back from study abroad felt, though we had re-entry counseling to prepare us while I don't think Shazie had anything of the sort. As far as becoming a snob, well to be perfectly honest, she kind of was snobbish before she even left and one of her sticking points now is that she didn't have to lift a finger in China as the "help" would get upset if she even tried, so Iris, you may have something there.
I discussed it with my mom and she seemed to get that to a certain extent, Shazie's feelings are to be expected after such a big change even if the resulting behavior is unfortunate. We are in the middle of Ramadan right now so big parties and gatherings are the norm, but I think once things settle down, like you guys said, smaller gatherings, or one-on-one get togethers are the way to go.
If anyone is wondering why our families are friends (I know I do tend to wonder that in other people's threads haha) - she and her husband can be really fun people. They rock the party games, cards, and could be the life of the picnic back in the day
They were also part of a tight knit group of people along with my parents who worked for years to found a new masjid in our town, so we have enough history that it is worth being patient for this current storm to pass.