Author Topic: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????  (Read 5481 times)

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Yarnspinner

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You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« on: August 16, 2012, 11:59:44 PM »
PROACTIVE CONDEMNATION OF MY OWN STUPIDITY BEFORE CONTINUING THIS POST TO SAVE SOMEONE ELSE THE TIME REQUIRED TO DO IT FOR ME:   <insert winking smiley face here>

I was veryveryveryveryveryvery stupid to send the email I sent.  It was a naive move.  It was really dumb of me to not be careful of how I wrote something on the longshot chance that my own supervisor who had been treated this way by another staffer not that long ago would also be DUMB enough to forward the email on to Stonecold, the Big Boss

MY ETIQUETTE QUESTION:  Is there anything I should do about it or say to Stoney (that originally read "Anything I should do to Stoney?")

THE STORY:

Two issues came to a head yesterday.  One involved an ongoing government program advertised in the newspaper which stated that "forms could be picked up at all libraries."  Except...none of these forms were ever delivered to the libraries.

Issue Two:  Inexplicably over the last couple of months, people have been asking for me by name and when they find me, demand that I immediately get their paintings/poems/dancing bears/ booked into the library so they can show off their skills.  I am NOT in charge of this aspect of library work and have been referring them to whoever it is they should be talking to.  A Lot of them get totally beeped off when this happens because "Stonecold told us YOU are the person who will make this happen."

So when both of these issues came up again for the umpteenthy time in six weeks, I wrote my supervisors (who are hard to get in the same room together for a number of reasons it will take too long to relate) stating that

a) We need those government program forms and where the heck are they?

and

b) Say, when did I become programming and booking director?  Did I get reassigned and you didn't tell me?  If that's the case, I want a raise. 

I should have put in a "wink wink nudge nudge".  I KNEW exactly what was happening:  of my entire department, I seriously believe Stonecold can only remember my name because, for whatever reason, she seems to like me.  Probably because I was advised by my superiors that "You aren't a top supervisor, if she tells you to dosomething, so it.  You don't get paid enough to take the heat for us."  So she sends everyone to me because she knows I will figure out a way to accomodate some of these dingbats and she won't have to.

Well, I can guarantee that Stoney is upset with me now.

Helen toldme this morning "Did you get a look at your email?"  (laughter laughter laughter) "Because you finally got an answer to your question."  (chuckle chuckle chuckle)

"I just got in and haven't seen anything."

"Oh, you silly.  Stonecold replied that SHE wants a raise, too."

Honestly, if I ever get my own realilty show, it will be called "What the H*** Were You Thinking?"  and Helen will be the first contestant.

And I asked her exactly that question.  She replied "Well, you know, I think Stonecold should know how her capricious attitude toward our jobs are affecting us."

She was serious.  She has been s***wed over by Stonecold so many times in the past regarding her own work and she thought this was a good idea. 

I want to be fair to Helen:  she has a debilitating physical disease that I really believe is making worse her already peculiar and antagonistic personality.  She has done some stuff in the past that is totally off the wall.  I also know that if I had sent the email to only the other supervisor (whom she hates) and not sought her advise at all, she would also be screaming when she found out.

Stonecold's entire response was that "EVERYONE should be able to just pick these issues up and take care of them at the drop of a hat.  And I want a raise too."  (She just got a 12% raise in July while I got a 1% but that's neither here nor there.)


So my question, see above, is should I pretend this never happened?  Say something to Stonecold when I see her?  Take out a hit on Helen?

Please remember I do not need to be told it was stupid to write a funny note in what was partially a serious email.
« Last Edit: August 17, 2012, 12:03:15 AM by Yarnspinner »

wheeitsme

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2012, 12:16:19 AM »
I go with pretend it never happened and if Stonecold brings it up do the whole "laugh, laugh, don't we all have too much to do and none of us gets paid enough, <wink nudge laugh - not really serious>"

Oi.  Sorry.

mrkitty

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2012, 12:37:50 AM »
I go with pretend it never happened and if Stonecold brings it up do the whole "laugh, laugh, don't we all have too much to do and none of us gets paid enough, <wink nudge laugh - not really serious>"

Oi.  Sorry.


I'm going to P.O.D. this. I think saying anything to Stonecold will only make the situation worse. She might just forget about it, and if she ever brings it up just say you meant that in jest. But, needless to say, consider this a "lesson learned" scenario and keep your emails totally professional and write only what you exactly mean - and don't ever trust that Helen again. I'd put some distance between us, if I were you.

I really don't think it's that serious, though. Based on your quote, I think it's pretty obvious you were not serious about the raise issue, but just making an observation that you are not the correct person to send customer to for that particular activity. It could have been a lot worse  - if, for example, you had written something very rude about your boss - but what you actually wrote was very innocuous, in my opinion, and not worthy of making into an issue. Also, if you generally have a pretty cordial relationship with Stoney, it'll blow over in no time. She probably already forgot about it. Don't remind her. Did I mention DON'T TRUST HELEN? Because, don't. ever. trust. her. again. Best to pretend she has a contagious, exotic disease that you don't want to catch, and deal with her as little as you can without being too obvious about it. Hope this helps.

Don't worry about it. And don't ever confide anything - even jokingly - with that toxic co-irker of yours again.  ;D {Hugs} It'll be okay. Don't sweat it.
Learn from past. Live in the present. Hope for the future.

BC12

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2012, 01:00:39 AM »
Yeah, I agree that it doesn't sound that serious. You didn't say anything that terrible, and it should have been pretty obvious to Stoney that your email was intended for Helen, not her. Also, I think her response had a bit of humor to it -  "And I want a raise too."

I don't think you should say anything unless Stoney brings it up.

lmyrs

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2012, 01:06:43 AM »
Don't say anything to Stonecold. IF she brings it up in a joking manner, you van laugh with her. I doubt that will happen though if I recall your previous posts about her. IF she brings it up in a serious manner, just say, very detached, "Well, CLEARLY I was joking about the raise but we do need those forms." If she continues, in the same tone, say, "Yah, we really need to make sure that customers are given the correct contact information or they're going to end up unhappy." (Pointed look.)

Pippen

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2012, 02:59:43 AM »
I vote for the the hit on Helen and have Stoney implicated. Two birds with one stone.

Steve

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2012, 03:51:45 AM »
It seems to me that you do need to talk to stonecold. She is the boss, and she clearly has some expectations that you feel you are unable to meet at this moment. Your team have seperated your tasks, while the boss now clearly states that she requires all staff to be able to do some tasks she considers 'basic'.

I think it would be a good idea to sit down with her and the team and discuss this, let Stonecold know what the current menthod of work is, and what you guys need to be able to work as she wants you to.

It is probably in everyone's best interest if you try to meet the boss' expectations of you.



hobish

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2012, 04:33:08 AM »

On the 12% raise for people who are mostly incompetent, i feel your pain. I've seen it. I know. Sometimes you just want to hit a body in the head with a shovel. You really didn't say anything terrible, though. Where i work is probably not all that different than where you work when it comes down to it, and sometimes being a bit obnoxious is good.

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Slartibartfast

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2012, 08:02:22 AM »
DON'T say anything to Stonecold.  For one thing, you do want a raise!  Telling her you don't will only cause trouble down the line, next time raises are being handed out, because "Yarnspinner doesn't care anyway."  (This behavior - apologizing for actually wanting to be paid - has been pointed to many times as one of the reasons women are paid less than men.  Men tend to have no problem asking for a raise and trumpeting their achievements; women tend to apologize and justify and not ask for a raise in the first place.)  So if Stonecold mentions the raise thing sometime later, you can address what you actually meant: "Well of course I want a raise!  I definitely deserve one!  I'm not expecting one any time soon, though.  I was really just trying to highlight how X, Y, and Z were suddenly my job but nobody told me."  For another thing, Stonecold will probably have forgotten the details of the email by tomorrow - if you're lucky, she'll remember "Yarnspinner will actually stand up for herself" and "Wait, was there someone specific I'm supposed to refer the dingbats to, besides Yarnspinner?"

Roe

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2012, 08:58:14 AM »
Ignore is probably the best option but if you feel you must respond, I'd respond with a "smiley face" just to let her know you got the joke. 

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2012, 10:39:10 AM »
It sounds as if Stoney took it as humor, and I think that if you had not been blindsided, you would easily feel that way as well.
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Decimus

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2012, 10:50:19 AM »
I must agree that I don't actually think you said anything in that email that is particularly upsetting.  Essentially you said "If I've been given additional duties, I want additional compensation."  This is an entirely reasonable position to hold.  It may not be feasible or possible within your organization -- that's a different question.  In fact, I'd judge Stonecold's response to be a jokey reply because your statement was reasonable and she is probably trying to head off any potential that you might press the point (and discover it's not going to happen).

So I'd just drop the pay issue.  I do think it would be reasonable to suggest it might be helpful to review everyone's duties to ensure maximum efficiency (or however you want to phrase it).  If you are expected to handle issues beyond your assigned duties, this may make you less efficient at your assigned duties (since you are doing additional things) and you want to cover yourself.

It would also be reasonable at your next performance review to state you have been assigned additional tasks and deserve a larger raise.

Girlie

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #12 on: August 17, 2012, 11:10:43 AM »
I vote for the the hit on Helen and have Stoney implicated. Two birds with one stone.

POD.

 >:D

Sophia

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #13 on: August 17, 2012, 11:24:14 AM »
I was just thinking the other day I hadn't seen a thread on stonecold lately.  Aren't you really close to retirement? 
I would leave it alone.  If Stoney was a reasonable person, then maybe talk to her.  But, Stoney?, no way. 

wheeitsme

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Re: You Forwarded My Email To WHO????
« Reply #14 on: August 17, 2012, 11:45:32 AM »
It seems to me that you do need to talk to stonecold. She is the boss, and she clearly has some expectations that you feel you are unable to meet at this moment. Your team have seperated your tasks, while the boss now clearly states that she requires all staff to be able to do some tasks she considers 'basic'.

I think it would be a good idea to sit down with her and the team and discuss this, let Stonecold know what the current menthod of work is, and what you guys need to be able to work as she wants you to.

It is probably in everyone's best interest if you try to meet the boss' expectations of you.

Sorry, my first response to this was "BWHAHAHAHAHAHA..."(because I thought you were just being funny - really)  But then I realized that you might be new and not be aware of all the stories involving Stonecold.  Those of us who have followed Yarnspinner's "Tales of Insanity", say trust us when we tell you that as nice as your ideas are, they would not work with Stonecold.