General Etiquette > Life...in general

Backing out of a purchase from a friend

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Knitterly:
I spotted an ad on a popular local classifieds website for a very specific children's toy I have been looking for for Little Knit - a push walker.   I spotted one ad that's been up for about a month.  The price was right, so I replied.  Imagine my shock when the person who replied was actually an old friend of mine, Amanda.  I keep up with Amanda on facebook, so I know she's in the middle of a serious destash and her family is getting ready for a major cross-continent move.  So of course she was excited to sell me the toy and we are getting together for lunch now, too.

That was pretty awesome.

I mentioned this wonderful coincidence to another much better friend, Barbie, to whom I had NOT previously mentioned about needing a push walker for my daughter.  Turns out Buffy actually has one.  I knew that, but thought her kids still played with it.  Her kids do still play with it, but it's designed for an age much younger than them, so she offered it to me for free.  The one that Buffy has is better than the one Amanda is selling, plus Buffy is offering it to me for free..

So now I feel stuck.

On the one hand, I do want to help out Amanda, as I do understand she needs to clear things out (and probably also needs the money) for her move.  On the other hand... free.

If you were me, what would you do?

I'm leaning towards going for lunch with Amanda and seeing how LK actually is with the toy.  I've also asked about whether Amanda is selling other toys and clothes that LK could possibly use.
If I buy other things from Amanda, do you think that would absolve me of buying the push toy?  I'd actually rather have Buffy's and don't need two.

I have until tomorrow morning to resolve this.  I know it's a pretty first world problem, but I don't want to be rude to my first friend.  If it was a random stranger with whom I'd made arrangements to pick up the toy, I'd have no problems at all firing off a note saying "Hey, it turns out I don't need this toy after all, as someone just gave me one."  But since it's very unexpectedly a friend, I feel terrible doing that.  Especially since the ad has been up for a month and I know she needs to get things gone in prep for her move.

(Edited to add names to clarify who is who)

Bijou:
How would telling your closer friend that you had already arranged to buy one from someone else be rude? 

If the one she offers will hold up longer, is known to be in good condition while the condition of the other is unknown, I would probably opt for the closer friend's offer, but not because it is free.  In fact I would feel obligated to pay the first lady for the toy and then just let her do as she wishes with it. 

Zilla:
If you can afford it, can you buy it and donate it?  And then get the one from your friend?  Since you were already planning on getting one and price was right, you won't be out of any money really and getting 2 for price of 1?  I don't think you can back out of it since there is lunch involved as well.

doodlemor:
Maybe you could white lie a bit, apologize profusely, and say that when you mentioned this to DH he said that he was given one several months ago.  He put it in the garage, attic, whatever and forgot about it until you told him that you were getting one from old friend.

You would still like to go out to lunch with her before she moves, and does she have other things to sell?

Knitterly:

--- Quote from: Bijou on August 19, 2012, 09:31:32 PM ---How would telling your closer friend that you had already arranged to buy one from someone else be rude? 

If the one she offers will hold up longer, is known to be in good condition while the condition of the other is unknown, I would probably opt for the closer friend's offer, but not because it is free.  In fact I would feel obligated to pay the first lady for the toy and then just let her do as she wishes with it.

--- End quote ---

It wouldn't.  I'm not worried about being rude to her at all.  Buffy won't care one way or another if I take her up on the offer.  If I decide to purchase Amanda's, it won't matter to her one bit.  The issue is that I'd actually rather have hers (the one I'm being offered for free), and not the one I arranged to buy from Amanda.

I'm torn about dealing with Amanda, who is really more of an acquaintance.  If I didn't know her at all, I would simply send an email saying that I was given one and reneg on the deal.  But since it turns out I actually know her, I feel wrong and rude doing that.  I feel like since I started on this deal and it turned out to be a friend, I am now obligated to complete it and purchase the toy, regardless of the subsequent offer of a free one.

Does that make any sense? 

Edited to add names for clarity

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