Author Topic: "If Summer Goes, Why Won’t the Guests?" (NYTimes article about bad guests)  (Read 6032 times)

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snappylt

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Has anyone else read the New York Times article "If Summer Goes, Why Won’t the Guests?" at http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/23/garden/if-summer-goes-why-wont-the-guests.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all ? There are some interesting tales of guests behaving badly.

My favorite is the young guest who helped herself to $100 from the hostess's purse without asking.  I think I might well call the police if someone took money from my wallet.

missmolly

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Wow, I've read some hideous guest stories before, but that $100 thief took the cake! Not to mention wearing the hostess' clothing without permission & complaining that it didn't fit!
"Any idiot can face a crisis, it is this day-to-day living that wears you out". Chekhov.

Venus193

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That is reprehensible.  This article is enough to turn anyone off the idea house guests.

C0mputerGeek

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While I love the thought of having a bed and outdoor shower for guests, in theory, I don't think I'd be comfortable having my guests sleep outside.

QueenofAllThings

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Several things about that article:
a) the first story, about wearing hostess's clothing, 'borrowing' $100 from her wallet, and leaving car there for a summer, struck me as unbelievable - who would put up with that?!?
b) I like the outdoor bed idea too, but I think it's bizarre that a host expects people to sleep there. If you're that uncomfortable with people being in your house, don't invite them to stay.

Fun reading!

Wittyone

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The thing I'm wondering about, regarding the outdoor bed, is whether the guests know that is the arrangement before they accept the invitation.  I got the feeling they didn't, in which case those hosts are horribly rude. 
« Last Edit: August 24, 2012, 10:41:10 AM by Wittyone »
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Piratelvr1121

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The story about the guest of the history teacher rang familiar.  An now ex-friend of ours is like the guest in that story.  He'd get on a topic, one he knows would be a hot button with the other people, and then he continues to get more and more irate.  It was always worse if he was drinking and his blood sugar was high.

That, among several other reasons is why he's now and ex friend and we are heartily supporting his STBXwife.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Thipu1

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Fascinating article, Snappylt.  Thanks.

Back in the days of the old Soviet Union, curators would often put up colleagues from Eastern Europe who were attending conferences.  They did this because the visiting scholars literally didn't have enough money for a hotel or restaurant meals.  There are some wonderful stories.

Trying to be good hosts, a couple asked their guest his dietary preferences.  His answer was , 'MEAT'. And, yes.  That's all he would eat while he stayed with them. 

Another time, they had a foreign guest who expressed a preference for Italian food.  The hostess was an excellent cook who had learned delicious recipes from her Italian MIL.   When served a lasagna that would melt the heart, he asked for catsup. 

In particular, house guests from The USSR were prone to wandering off and getting lost.  This was unnerving because many of them didn't have the greatest command of English and Brooklyn can be confusing to people who have lived there for years.  'Get the car.  Tanya's gone again' was often heard around dinner time'. 

Another tale is told by a couple who had the use of a family house in Maine for the month of August.  They invited a series of friends to visit and, while the guests were quite nice, they all expected to dine on lobster and blueberry pie...every night.  By the end of the month, this couple could not look a lobster or a blueberry in the face for almost a year.   


NyaChan

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The thing I'm wondering about, regarding the outdoor bed, is whether the guests know that is the arrangement before they accept the invitation.  I got the feeling they didn't, in which case those hosts are horribly rude.

POD!  I actually didn't blame the boyfriend for being upset about finding out that he was sleeping outside if I had no prior warning.  I would not be willing to do that myself in the summer if I had not been prepared for it. 

BarensMom

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The thing I'm wondering about, regarding the outdoor bed, is whether the guests know that is the arrangement before they accept the invitation.  I got the feeling they didn't, in which case those hosts are horribly rude.

POD!  I actually didn't blame the boyfriend for being upset about finding out that he was sleeping outside if I had no prior warning.  I would not be willing to do that myself in the summer if I had not been prepared for it.

He had every right to be upset, but not have a meltdown over it.

Years ago, a group of us went up to my then BF's "cabin" in Mendocino County.  It turned out to be a group of cabins and guess who had to sleep in the "summer" cabin with screens for windows, in February?  I was never so cold in all my life.  I broke up with the guy after that weekend.

siamesecat2965

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The thing I'm wondering about, regarding the outdoor bed, is whether the guests know that is the arrangement before they accept the invitation.  I got the feeling they didn't, in which case those hosts are horribly rude.

POD!  I actually didn't blame the boyfriend for being upset about finding out that he was sleeping outside if I had no prior warning.  I would not be willing to do that myself in the summer if I had not been prepared for it.

I agree!  I think its very rude to spring it on your guests like that last minute.  I'm having guests over my birthday, two of my cousins.  I also live in a 1BR.  My one cousin has come before, and she knows my setup.  Couch or blow up mattress.  when I invited my other cousin (her SIL, who I adore) I told her, hey, I have a 1BR, so you two can fight over the couch and blow up! Not really, but she was fine with it.  And since it's gir's weekend, we will have fun.

LeveeWoman

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Several things about that article:
a) the first story, about wearing hostess's clothing, 'borrowing' $100 from her wallet, and leaving car there for a summer, struck me as unbelievable - who would put up with that?!?
b) I like the outdoor bed idea too, but I think it's bizarre that a host expects people to sleep there. If you're that uncomfortable with people being in your house, don't invite them to stay.

Fun reading!

Someone with a spine the strength of over-cooked spaghettini.

QueenfaninCA

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Several things about that article:
a) the first story, about wearing hostess's clothing, 'borrowing' $100 from her wallet, and leaving car there for a summer, struck me as unbelievable - who would put up with that?!?
b) I like the outdoor bed idea too, but I think it's bizarre that a host expects people to sleep there. If you're that uncomfortable with people being in your house, don't invite them to stay.

Fun reading!

Someone with a spine the strength of over-cooked spaghettini.

POD. The moment she would not take of my clothes I would make it absolutely clear she better needs to get of the clothes and the house ASAP.

WillyNilly

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Yeah the bed in the woods thing is pretty uncool considering that deer tick/Lyme disease country.  A person out during the day can take steps to be careful abut ticks and can remove them promptly, but sleeping outside is a whole different story!  Lyme disease can render a person totally disabled and can cost thousands to treat!

Piratelvr1121

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Several things about that article:
a) the first story, about wearing hostess's clothing, 'borrowing' $100 from her wallet, and leaving car there for a summer, struck me as unbelievable - who would put up with that?!?
b) I like the outdoor bed idea too, but I think it's bizarre that a host expects people to sleep there. If you're that uncomfortable with people being in your house, don't invite them to stay.

Fun reading!

Someone with a spine the strength of over-cooked spaghettini.

Upon reading that I kept imagining that if it were a story on the main site, they'd be told to strengthen their spine and learn to speak up.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata