Etiquette School is in session! > "I'm afraid that won't be possible."

Being addressed by first name

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--- Quote from: hobish on August 28, 2012, 05:27:34 PM ---
--- Quote from: Barb3030 on August 28, 2012, 05:15:22 PM ---I know when in the doctor's waiting room, they will call you by your first name, for privacy reasons. There may be a lot of "mary's" but there is probably only one "Mrs. Feuchtwanger."

--- End quote ---

Oh my goodness, that never occured to me. That makes so much sense. I'm only in my 30's and being addressed by first name in an unfamiliar doctor's office has always bugged me out.

--- End quote ---

It can also be common in some hospital settings, especially when patients are coming out of anaesthesia or have been sedated.  They're simply more likely to respond to first names as opposed to surnames.

Additionally it is more likely to have a difficult to pronounce last name than first name.  I think it is unreasonable for the doctor to try to remember the exact pronunciation fo every last name he might come across in his day.  There are lots of patients he has to remember so he goes with the easier to remember/pronounce first name.  The patient is only remember one doctor.

I think you can ask that people address you more formally, but I doubt the majority of people intend any sort of lack of respect by calling you by your first name. I'm a lawyer and I work nationwide with lawyers of various ages every day - not a single one do I address as "Mr. Smith" or "Ms. Jones," aside from perhaps in formal pleading or correspondence. I generally refer to judges as "Judge" or "Judge Peterson." I think to be offended rather than simply politely stating your preference will not serve you well.

Mental Magpie:
"Please, Mrs. Jones" is no different than someone inviting you to be less formal with "Please, Kate".  Just reverse the process and you'll be fine.

Like others have said, you make your preference known: "I prefer Mrs. Crocodile" or some of the other suggested wording.

I find that I really do not like being "first-named" when commencing a business relationship.  (I always show the other party respect by calling them "Mr. Smith" or "Ms. Jones," etc.)

And if they say "Please call me, Joan/John" do you comply?


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