Etiquette Silliness

[Thipu1]

Have you ever encountered an action that someone considers correct behavior but you consider just, plain silly?

A few years ago, there were young people in the Education Department of the museum who maintained that the proper way to eat cookies was with a knife and fork.

I contend that if you try that, you'll end up eating your cookies with a spoon because all you'll have to eat will be crumbs. 

Anyone know of other examples of etiquette silliness? 

[jmarvellous]

Mom always said it's rude to be barefoot if her feet are cold!

 

Alternately: "Looking at your goosebumps is making me cold! Put a sweater on!"

[Sirius]

Being fussed at for calling a man "sir" or a woman "ma'am."  What do they expect the rest of the world to call them if their names aren't known?  And I'm sure a lot of them would get equally offended if addressed as "Hey, you!"

[Hmmmmm]

I remember this exchange with a friend's mom at a brunch for her DD's shower.

Hostess offer's bride's mom a glass of sangria which she accepts.  I knew the mom didn't drink alcohol. 

Me quietly to bride's mom: You are aware that has wine?
Bride's mom:  Yes, but she offered and I couldn't say no.
Me:  Why?
Bride's mom:  Because she offered and you can't turn down something that is offered at a party.
Me:  She would be fine with getting you something else.  She has tons of sparkling water, juice and coffee.
Bride's mom:  But she offered Sangria so that's what I have to accept.
Me:  So what are you going to do with it?
Bride' mom:  I'll just hold it, I'll be fine without drinking anything.
Me:  Just set it down in the kitchen.
Bride's mom:  No, that would be rude to waste it like that and what if she saw me.
Me:  (Sigh)  You want me to drink it so you can get something else?
Bride's mom:  Would you mind? 

Me thinking no, not at all, I'll be glad to down a full glass of sangria on an empty stomache at 11am.  I did have a great time at the shower and a really wonderful nap that afternoon.

[Luci]

Not clearing a plate and not taking the last serving of something for the sake of etiquette is nuts to me.

It really bugs me at a buffet, especially if I am the hostess, to see all those plates come back with food I worked hard to prepare being thrown out, unless of course the diner just didn't like it, which I understand.

Sorry. It's not funny, but I do think it's silly. Well, I did laugh the first time I heard it.

[Thipu1]

Another thread reminded me of greeting card etiquette that verged on the absurd.

There was a sept of the family that was very, very touchy about the imagery on Birthday cards.

If you sent a card with an image of puppies that meant you thought the recipient was a dog.

If you send a card with a kitten, that meant you thought the recipient was sly.

The deity forbid that you thought a card with an image of a skunk smelling a rose was cute.   

For that part of the family, the only safe image was one of flowers.  Even then, that didn't always work.  Not being completely versed in the language of flowers, I was a bit nonplussed when a cousin remarked that my card with an image of yellow roses wasn't appropriate. 

[oz diva]

That's like giving someone some nice soap and being asked if you're giving it because they smell. No, you don't smell, it's nice soap, just enjoy it. Stop being a idiot.

[Thipu1]

That's like giving someone some nice soap and being asked if you're giving it because they smell. No, you don't smell, it's nice soap, just enjoy it. Stop being a idiot.

They did that too.

[Sirius]

Another thread reminded me of greeting card etiquette that verged on the absurd.

There was a sept of the family that was very, very touchy about the imagery on Birthday cards.

If you sent a card with an image of puppies that meant you thought the recipient was a dog.

If you send a card with a kitten, that meant you thought the recipient was sly.

The deity forbid that you thought a card with an image of a skunk smelling a rose was cute.   

For that part of the family, the only safe image was one of flowers.  Even then, that didn't always work.  Not being completely versed in the language of flowers, I was a bit nonplussed when a cousin remarked that my card with an image of yellow roses wasn't appropriate.

Send them cards with pictures of galaxies, planets, etc. on them, and if they don't like those be shocked that they took offense at the wonder and beauty of the universe.  Then, if they still take offense, send them a card with a picture of the planet Uranus, and see if they get the hint.   

[Jones]

I'd be tempted to purchase a plain white card, no image at all, and just write a greeting on the inside. Yeesh!

[25wishes]

I don't know if this qualifies, but we used to live next to a very "upper crust" elderly couple who would have us over for drinks occasionally. One time they called up and we declined, as DH's sister was visiting. They said bring her along, so we did.
  We sat in the LR and had drinks and popcorn, which they served in a large bowl, with a large silver spoon to dish it out, and individual bowls to dish it out into. I suppose it makes sense from a germ point of view, we had just never seen it done before. SIL remembers it to this day!

[Diane AKA Traska]

I don't know if this qualifies, but we used to live next to a very "upper crust" elderly couple who would have us over for drinks occasionally. One time they called up and we declined, as DH's sister was visiting. They said bring her along, so we did.
  We sat in the LR and had drinks and popcorn, which they served in a large bowl, with a large silver spoon to dish it out, and individual bowls to dish it out into. I suppose it makes sense from a germ point of view, we had just never seen it done before. SIL remembers it to this day!

Wait.  My brain's trying to process.  They *ladled* out popcorn?  Did you get teeny forks too?

[Luci]

I don't know if this qualifies, but we used to live next to a very "upper crust" elderly couple who would have us over for drinks occasionally. One time they called up and we declined, as DH's sister was visiting. They said bring her along, so we did.
  We sat in the LR and had drinks and popcorn, which they served in a large bowl, with a large silver spoon to dish it out, and individual bowls to dish it out into. I suppose it makes sense from a germ point of view, we had just never seen it done before. SIL remembers it to this day!

Wait.  My brain's trying to process.  They *ladled* out popcorn?  Did you get teeny forks too?

I used to do that until I realized that after a few people had handled the salad tongs I used, the tongs were just as soiled if not more so than the random kernels of corn people touched.

I still put a spoon in the nut bowls.

[jmarvellous]

We always shook microwave popcorn into individual bowls or poured it from the stove into individual bowls.

These days, we're more prone to sharing the bowl and using hands, but I guess the ladle thing doesn't faze me. The silver service is a bit much, though!

[blueyzca01]

One of the stories on the main site has the following example:

The woman was telling a story about her weird date, and she wrote, "Being a lady of etiquette, I offered to pay for my meal."

I don't know where she got that, but I still think that it's one of the dumbest things I've ever read.  One has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the other.