Last May, my then-BF & I made plans to go to a concert in Chicago for the following month. Chicago is about eight hours away, depending on traffic, so we decided to stay there overnight the night of the concert. I asked a good female friend, who I knew LOVED the band, to join us (we had 4 tix), and BF invited a buddy. My friend was super excited, and every time I talked to her, she asked when she should pay BF b/c she didn't have all the money (her part of gas, hotel & ticket would be about $120.) right then. BF told me, & I told her, she could pay the day of the trip (middle of June).
First off, she wasn't ready when we went to pick her up, so we had to wait about 30 minutes for her. We started the drive, and when we stopped for lunch and gas, she bought lunch & snacks for herself, but I never saw her give BF any money for gas, as I had. Then when we arrived at the hotel, again, no offers of $ from her. Then when we took the train downtown to the show, no offers to pick BF's and my fares. At the bar before the show, she bought a drink and an appetizer for herself, and again, no offers to pay extra towards the bill. Ditto for drinks at the show, the train ride back to the hotel, etc. Not one time did she offer to buy BF or me a thing, not even a cup of coffee.
The next she told BF that she would pay him back, but that she would have to wait until her next paycheck, and then she'd have to pay in 2 installments ($60 & $60). I was peeved that it finally came out that she could not afford to go, and that she never told me or BF before we left town, at least giving us the option of fronting her the money for everything, and then getting repaid. Once we were alone, I apologized to BF, and he said it was OK as long as he got paid back.
I should also mention that BF's buddy had to bow out before we left, due to his financial situation, and BF was able to sell buddy's ticket, and I had told her all of that, so she knew she could have a chance to bow out herself if she couldn't afford it.
Fast forward to the end of June/beginning of July: BF and I break up amicably, and since my friend hadn't repaid him, and she only knew him through me, I offered BF her share of the $$ for that trip, and he accepted it. As I said, it was amicable, and I didn't want him to get stiffed by the friend that *I * had invited. Also, if the tables were turned, I would have wanted him to do the same, instead of making me chase down one of his friends after our breakup. I then told my friend I had paid BF, so she could pay ME. She told me it would have to be after her next paycheck.
I have yet to see a dime. When I called her to ask if when she'd be able to pay me, she told me it'd have to be next paycheck. She also let it slip that she took a trip w/ her BF at the end of the summer!
My question is, Should I have asked her directly on the trip to contribute, as stooping for gas, etc., came up? Should I have never paid BF, and let him try to get the $ out of her? Should I try to get mutual friends to intercede on my behalf w/ my friend (she won't return my calls)? Any thoughts would be appreciated.