Author Topic: When the guest of honor doesn't like the proposed location? Update #13  (Read 4539 times)

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anonever13

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Re: When the guest of honor doesn't like the proposed location? Update #13
« Reply #15 on: September 19, 2012, 09:11:50 PM »
So, basically, Sally wanted to do it on that Friday and downtown so she would have something to do while the relative she had promised a ride to was doing his/her own thing downtown?  ::)

I wonder if she realizes how that comes across to the invitees. 

I'm glad for Helen that someone not as selfish took over the planning. 

LifeOnPluto

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Re: When the guest of honor doesn't like the proposed location? Update #13
« Reply #16 on: September 19, 2012, 11:25:54 PM »
I think that the GOH's convenience trumps the host's convenience (within reason, obviously). Especially when the "host" is really more of an "arranger".

That said, I agree it would have been rather heartless for Helen (or the new host) to deliberately change the details for the purpose of excluding Sally.

azleaneo

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Re: When the guest of honor doesn't like the proposed location? Update #13
« Reply #17 on: September 20, 2012, 01:59:29 AM »
So, basically, Sally wanted to do it on that Friday and downtown so she would have something to do while the relative she had promised a ride to was doing his/her own thing downtown?  ::)

I wonder if she realizes how that comes across to the invitees. 

I'm glad for Helen that someone not as selfish took over the planning.

Yeah, it came across really poorly in the email. The new person has been nice enough to use BCC on emails confirming people who are RSVPing in the negative and positive, where as Sally put the whole email list for everyone to see but that's a technoetiquette thing.

Ceallach

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Re: When the guest of honor doesn't like the proposed location? Update #13
« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2012, 05:55:20 AM »
Cynical me wonders if the reason Sally offered to arrange in the first place was so she could have it her way.   She knew that there would be a farewell party for her coworker, and figured if she organised it she'd get to have it where and when she wanted to best suit her needs.   

Anyway, I'm glad there was a good outcome.   I too would decline to attend a party that was inconvenient for me, regardless of whether I were the guest of honour or not!
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blarg314

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Re: When the guest of honor doesn't like the proposed location? Update #13
« Reply #19 on: September 21, 2012, 04:02:50 AM »
I think that the GOH's convenience trumps the host's convenience (within reason, obviously). Especially when the "host" is really more of an "arranger".

I think the "arranger" part is important here. If the host is actually hosting at their house, or is paying for the meal, then the host and the GOH have equal say, and both have veto power (the GOH doesn't have to go to a party that's really inconvenient, or serves food they can't eat, but the host doesn't have to pay for a party that's at a place they're uncomfortable with, or spend more than they can manage).

When the 'host's' duties are sending out the email about where and when the party is, the GOH's convenience's get a much higher weighting.

In this case, it sounds like Sally was more concerned with her own convenience than that of anyone else, which doesn't make her look good. I do think that if you're sending out the emails, and everyone says "No thanks, we're going out at X time without you" it's pretty tacky. But the flip-side of that is that if you're arranging, you need to listen if people have a problem with your ideas.