Flirting w/Husband

[gingerzing]

However, for guys like my DH, they are usually pretty oblivious to flirting in general.  Seriously, my guy never sees it unless it is done in force with a blunt object.  Most good guys are not use to being the "prey" and so probably don't know what to do. 

My husband can be quite oblivious too.  However, I find it hard to believe that any person, male or female, would not recognize that another individual flashing them and/or sitting in their lap is not wildly inappropriate behavior and that to allow it, without saying or doing anything, is disrespectful to one's spouse or partner.  Most especially when they know before going into a situation that someone is more than a little "out there" with his or her behavior.

With situations like this occurring, is it any wonder that some men are hesitant to outright reject an obnoxious woman searching for sexual affirmation?

Honestly that really just sounds like an excuse.  Men aren't helpless to respond because of fear of lawsuits--which I suspect is pretty rare.  And at any rate, I never heard of anyone getting sued for saying "STOP THAT.  GET OFF OF ME."

I am sure if it was a flash or a sit on the lap most guys would be "what the ?"  after the initial "deer in the headlights" (I missed that the first time.    )  And the OP doesn't say how long she was in his lap.  It could have just happened to see if she got a reaction from the wife. 

I still say the whole, "You poor poor dear.  Perhaps you should be checked out for dementia" is a great solution.

[Mental Magpie]

<snip>

I still say the whole, "You poor poor dear.  Perhaps you should be checked out for dementia" is a great solution.

Ah, yes, I forgot to say that in my post, too!  I think it is the perfect solution!

[MerryCat]

Actually, I think the "you poor dear, do you have dementia?" would be better coming from OP's husband. Afterall, OP is (in the Golden Girl Gone Wild's mind) just a jealous, uptight, harpy. But to have the a object of her attempted err... seduction.... concerned about her mental health would be more mortifying.

[sweetonsno]

I like the idea about dementia, but agree that it should come from the OP's DH. I also am not sure that it should be directed at Flash (maybe her husband or child?).

I would probably deal with the MIL problem by laughing at her when she did that kind of thing. It's totally absurd and ridiculous, so it's obviously a joke. Approach it that way. That will probably take the wind out of her proverbial sails somewhat. Nothing makes you feel less sexy than being treated as silly.

I think your husband laughing might send mixed messages, at least to her (she might think he enjoys it), so maybe one or to "has" followed by a "What on Earth are you doing?" or "Why would you sit on my lap?" or "Aren't you a bit old for that?" or "Mom, knock it off."

[jedikaiti]

EvilTraska's on the hunt lately... she suggests that do what you do with pets that jump into laps when they're not wanted.  Squirt them with a water gun.  As for the flashing... wow.  That's actually got me stumped.  The funniest thing is when the husband was described as "stunned", I honestly thought "deer in the headlights".

heh heh.."headlights" I see what you did there...

EvilJedi thinks the squirt bottle works for flashing, too. Or an air horn.

Flashey: "What did you do that for???"
Evil: "Well, that's how we taught the dog not to $*** in the house!"

I'm trying to think of a polite way to handle it (particularly at the time), and all I can think of is "Please don't do that again" and "I am going to have to ask you to move" repeated ad nauseam. Perhaps if said in a thoroughly bored tone of voice with your best poker face expression?

[lady_disdain]

Actually, I think the "you poor dear, do you have dementia?" would be better coming from OP's husband. Afterall, OP is (in the Golden Girl Gone Wild's mind) just a jealous, uptight, harpy. But to have the a object of her attempted err... seduction.... concerned about her mental health would be more mortifying.

This is why I think that, in most circumstances, it is better to let the target of the flirtation to deal with it. Otherwise, it is too easy for Golden Girl to paint the OP as jealous, instead of Golden Girl being completely ridiculous. I also expect my BF to get out of inappropriate situation himself, instead of having me play the jealous GF (this works both way).

[Morticia]

"Excuse me, but you're in my seat. " 

[Shopaholic]

<snip>

I still say the whole, "You poor poor dear.  Perhaps you should be checked out for dementia" is a great solution.

Ah, yes, I forgot to say that in my post, too!  I think it is the perfect solution!

Of course, in my head I'm hearing this in Betty White's voice.(
(Who plays a pretty "wild" character on Hot in Cleveland)

[JenJay]

"Excuse me, but you're in my seat. " 

Win!!

That is exactly how to handle it!

[hobish]

The whole phone number thing wouldn't have even phased me.  I probably would have kissed Dark Boyfriend and told him, "See?  I'm not the only one who thinks you're handsome."  Things like that just don't bother me, but I realize that I may be one of the few.

The flashing would have probably gotten a, "I could have done without," from Dark Boyfriend.  As for the lady in his lap...well, I'd have let him handle it, and if he was too "dear in the headlights" (hehheh Traska, thanks for that), I probably would have gone for embarrassing the E-Hell out of the lady.  Sarcasm is my default, after all.

Glad i am not the only one. None of that would have phased me, either.

"Excuse me, but you're in my seat. " 

Hahaha  Love it.

[Moray]

The whole phone number thing wouldn't have even phased me.  I probably would have kissed Dark Boyfriend and told him, "See?  I'm not the only one who thinks you're handsome."  Things like that just don't bother me, but I realize that I may be one of the few.

The flashing would have probably gotten a, "I could have done without," from Dark Boyfriend.  As for the lady in his lap...well, I'd have let him handle it, and if he was too "dear in the headlights" (hehheh Traska, thanks for that), I probably would have gone for embarrassing the E-Hell out of the lady.  Sarcasm is my default, after all.

Glad i am not the only one. None of that would have phased me, either.

"Excuse me, but you're in my seat. " 

Hahaha  Love it.

Same here.

[jedikaiti]

The whole phone number thing wouldn't have even phased me.  I probably would have kissed Dark Boyfriend and told him, "See?  I'm not the only one who thinks you're handsome."  Things like that just don't bother me, but I realize that I may be one of the few.

The flashing would have probably gotten a, "I could have done without," from Dark Boyfriend.  As for the lady in his lap...well, I'd have let him handle it, and if he was too "dear in the headlights" (hehheh Traska, thanks for that), I probably would have gone for embarrassing the E-Hell out of the lady.  Sarcasm is my default, after all.

Glad i am not the only one. None of that would have phased me, either.

"Excuse me, but you're in my seat. " 

Hahaha  Love it.

Wouldn't have phased me either, but I can totally see how & why it would bother someone else.

[jmarvellous]

If my boyfriend didn't tell such a woman to get out of his lap now, I would be very disappointed in him. I would be sad for the woman, but since I do know my boyfriend and I don't know her, I would probably not muster up the energy to be angry with her. (And I wouldn't be angry with my BF for having a woman sitting in his lap, only if he were to do anything to indicate that it was an OK situation.)

I think the best thing for the wife to do is pretend like the other woman doesn't exist from there on out; otherwise, I don't think she has any responsibility in this situation.

[ShanghaiJill]

"Excuse me, but you're in my seat. " 

I automatically started searching for the "like" button.

[Barb3000]

I think I might have made a remark to the effect of "Nothing as pathetic as mutton trying to act like lamb..."