Flirting w/Husband

[Moray]

I think I might have made a remark to the effect of "Nothing as pathetic as mutton trying to act like lamb..."

Well, this behavior would be disgraceful from anyone, regardless of age.

[AmysAuntie]

EvilTraska's on the hunt lately... she suggests that do what you do with pets that jump into laps when they're not wanted.  Squirt them with a water gun.  As for the flashing... wow.  That's actually got me stumped.  The funniest thing is when the husband was described as "stunned", I honestly thought "deer in the headlights".

That was exactly the look.  He was afraid to MOVE.

You have to know my hubby to understand--he is extremely uncomfortable with aggressive women.  I met him online about a month after his first wife died and talked him through the first year or so of being widowed (I had lost my first husband two years before.)

During the two years we were just online buddies, I saw how he responded to some of the more "predatory" widows in the chat we frequented.  They'd get aggressive--he'd disappear. 

When Flashy (I love that nickname) struck, I'm sure his brain simply shut down.

[SPuck]

I think in the case of someone who is overly aggressive (or has constantly bad social skills) uses shock and awe tactics to get away from it. I'd imagine a lot of people would react with silence if another adult suddenly jumped in their lap because they just don't know how to react. The aggressor takes the lack of response as an okay to continue with there antics, shocking there target into further inaction or silence which further feeds the ego of the aggressor. 

[ShanghaiJill]

Time for a country western song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_wwP8UZR1o

[Hawkwatcher]

EvilTraska's on the hunt lately... she suggests that do what you do with pets that jump into laps when they're not wanted.  Squirt them with a water gun.  As for the flashing... wow.  That's actually got me stumped.  The funniest thing is when the husband was described as "stunned", I honestly thought "deer in the headlights".

That was exactly the look.  He was afraid to MOVE.

You have to know my hubby to understand--he is extremely uncomfortable with aggressive women.  I met him online about a month after his first wife died and talked him through the first year or so of being widowed (I had lost my first husband two years before.)

During the two years we were just online buddies, I saw how he responded to some of the more "predatory" widows in the chat we frequented.  They'd get aggressive--he'd disappear. 

When Flashy (I love that nickname) struck, I'm sure his brain simply shut down.

I actually think that this woman is a creep.  She knows that she is making your husband uncomfortable but does not care.  Since she doesn't care about his feelings, he should not care about hurting her feelings if she behaves inappropriately.   Ideally, both of you should avoid her.  But if you can't avoid her, you and your husband might want to discuss some strategies in dealing with her. You may want to even try role playing if you think it will help. 

[violinp]

EvilTraska's on the hunt lately... she suggests that do what you do with pets that jump into laps when they're not wanted.  Squirt them with a water gun.  As for the flashing... wow.  That's actually got me stumped.  The funniest thing is when the husband was described as "stunned", I honestly thought "deer in the headlights".

That was exactly the look.  He was afraid to MOVE.

You have to know my hubby to understand--he is extremely uncomfortable with aggressive women.  I met him online about a month after his first wife died and talked him through the first year or so of being widowed (I had lost my first husband two years before.)

During the two years we were just online buddies, I saw how he responded to some of the more "predatory" widows in the chat we frequented.  They'd get aggressive--he'd disappear. 

When Flashy (I love that nickname) struck, I'm sure his brain simply shut down.

I actually think that this woman is a creep.  She knows that she is making your husband uncomfortable but does not care.  Since she doesn't care about his feelings, he should not care about hurting her feelings if she behaves inappropriately.   Ideally, both of you should avoid her.  But if you can't avoid her, you and your husband might want to discuss some strategies in dealing with her. You may want to even try role playing if you think it will help.

POD. I'm not a man, but if I were in the husband's position, I'd just be too terrified and shocked to say/do anything. Perhaps walking through responses would help the husband know what to do if/when it happens again.

[AmysAuntie]

I actually think that this woman is a creep.  She knows that she is making your husband uncomfortable but does not care.  Since she doesn't care about his feelings, he should not care about hurting her feelings if she behaves inappropriately.   Ideally, both of you should avoid her.  But if you can't avoid her, you and your husband might want to discuss some strategies in dealing with her. You may want to even try role playing if you think it will help.
[/quote]

Well, our daughter HAD warned us that she was somewwhat "different".  Boy was she ever right.  And I agree--creepy is pretty accurate.  Avoiding Flashy will NOT be a problem, as she is in AnotherState, and our daughter and husband have moved to YetAnotherState. 

[RooRoo]

Reading through this thread has given me plenty of time to think. I doubt I could have come up with either of these responses in the moment.

On the flashing, I'd say in a superficially sincere way, "Oh, a hot flash? Go ahead and take your shirt off, I don't mind." Hey - that's not rude, is it? 

I am a lot older than my DH, and obese - and he loves it. she'd probably write me off as "no competition." So this next plot would probably just fry her buns. 

I'd walk up to her - ignoring him for the moment - and say, in a shocked and confused voice, "What are you doing on that man's lap? Can't you see you're embarrassing him?" After she moved, I'd say, "Hi, sweetie," collect a little smooch (our usual greeting) , and sit down.

Of course, that's assuming he hadn't already taken care of the problem. And he's quick on the uptake, too, and might, um, exaggerate that smooch for her benefit...

No, I'm not going to blame a man for not reacting. Think about it folks; how many of us react to insane rudeness with shocked silence? Why should being male make a difference?

[ShanghaiJill]

Stick her with a hat pin.

Did I say that aloud?

[AmysAuntie]

Stick her with a hat pin.

Did I say that aloud?

No, but you SHOULD have!     Or should I say, I should have.

[EMuir]

Isn't it interesting that when it's a woman flashing a man it doesn't seem nearly as offensive as thinking of a man flashing a woman?  What if a man exposed himself to a woman and then later grabbed her and pulled her into his lap?  I really think that this behavior has to be stopped. Suggesting dementia is a great idea.

[Blondie]

Isn't it interesting that when it's a woman flashing a man it doesn't seem nearly as offensive as thinking of a man flashing a woman?  What if a man exposed himself to a woman and then later grabbed her and pulled her into his lap?  I really think that this behavior has to be stopped. Suggesting dementia is a great idea.

In all fairness, I think if a guy flashed his chest, people would have giggled. If she had pulled up her skirt and shown the whole... urhh... rest, I am not sure that people wouldn't react in about the same way as a man pulling down his pants.

[cicero]

"Excuse me, but you're in my seat. " 

I automatically started searching for the "like" button.

lol me too

[EMuir]

Isn't it interesting that when it's a woman flashing a man it doesn't seem nearly as offensive as thinking of a man flashing a woman?  What if a man exposed himself to a woman and then later grabbed her and pulled her into his lap?  I really think that this behavior has to be stopped. Suggesting dementia is a great idea.

In all fairness, I think if a guy flashed his chest, people would have giggled. If she had pulled up her skirt and shown the whole... urhh... rest, I am not sure that people wouldn't react in about the same way as a man pulling down his pants.

I guess there isn't really a guy equivalent... maybe if he mooned her? Not nearly as flirty though. Well maybe for some....

[MrTango]

Stick her with a hat pin.

Did I say that aloud?

No, but you SHOULD have!     Or should I say, I should have.

I've been in the husband's position - that is, having had a female try to sit in my lap and flirt with me.  I just stood up and let her fall on the floor.

ETA: I'd never met this person before and wasn't interacting with her before she sat on me.