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Author Topic: Right. So moving on  (Read 12682 times)

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Re: Right. So moving on
« Reply #30 on: September 12, 2012, 03:04:57 PM »

My daughter doesn't like when I talk to a cashier or such...but I say I don't think any one minds a 3 sentence anecdote during our transaction.

Hmmmm.  Consider this:  YOU know it's a 3 sentence anecdote.  The cashier doesn't know that.  She might be wondering if this is the start of a long drawn-out story with no point. 

Since some people near and dear to me often tell stories that seem to have no end and no point (or they forgot it, so enthralled at corralling a live listener) I almost cringe when anyone starts a story. 

Granted, most extroverts are very interesting people but the ones who aren't have me permanently on edge during encounters with people I don't know. 


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Re: Right. So moving on
« Reply #31 on: September 13, 2012, 02:16:14 PM »
Taking the pooch is pretty useful as I can just say I am going to take her for a walk but that gets me out of there, not the people we are having the meeting with.

Maybe it you do the "Gee, I'd better get Pooch out of here for her walk" and stand up and make it clear you're leaving, that will give Lawyer or whoever the chance to say, "Well, it was lovely to see you- we're meeting up again in two weeks?" and start moving them towards the door. 
If wisdom’s ways you wisely seek,
Five things observe with care,
To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
Caroline Lake Ingalls


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Re: Right. So moving on
« Reply #32 on: September 14, 2012, 12:50:18 AM »
Perhaps you could set up the appointments just before lunch or a movie, since you mention that you are taking your parents into another town for this type of appointment?

It would give you a reason to remind them that you *only* have ten or fifteen minutes to chat, or the three of you will be late to the place where you are eating or miss the start of the movie.

And you can't stay in in town too late because you have to get home to fix dinner, let the dog out (neighbor's dog, if you don't have one), or something that means you can't let them gab more than a few minutes at any one stop on the trip.

Dad can be like that - Mom "reminds" him that they have to get groceries home before the ice cream melts, that she has to get to the pharmacy, library, or whatever before  o'clock, or just has to get moving before her knees stiffen up (knee replacement surgery a few years back - she takes walks two or three times a day for therapy).
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?


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Re: Right. So moving on
« Reply #33 on: September 18, 2012, 03:45:08 PM »
Pippen, you get a big THANK YOU from me for at least noticing they are 'big talkers'.

 I often end up with darling older couples in my office (at tax time) that truly look forward to seeing me each year. Some of these people have been with my firm since they filed their first return, opened and closed their businesses with us, and now I'm doing their fairly simple return for a little retirement income.  One in particular, the return takes me only five minutes. I book and hour and a half to see the client because of the conversations.  I remind myself when I'm hearing the gross details of a knee surgury or grand baby's potty training that I owe the client the respect that comes with doing decades of business with my company.    I can tolerate a LOT of 'small talk'.     So on some level, the professional owes you some face time just for being the customer.  Some times a new client is just trying to find common ground as most people seem a little intimidated at first by taxes. Plus most of us accountant types come off as a bit grouchy when really we are just in deep thought.  Any professional worth his/her salt knows how to reel these things back to the business at hand and how to close the deal.  I have one client who was born in a far away country. I could listen to him tell me about "the old country" all day, so it maybe the professional really just likes your parents. =)

 Also,  I'm an exception in my industry as I don't bill by 15 min. periods.  Perhaps the lawyer didn't mind taking up his day with small talk as he'd bill for all time spent with client, not just time used for matter at hand. 

  If you are their ride, then you simply must insist that you have to xyz at such and such a time. Begin leaving 15 mins prior to when you have to, and just don't shut up about it.  It seems strange that to stop other talking you have to out talk them. Politely, of course.  You just have to be determined no one will bean dip you from the course of leaving.  Most professionals will help you with this. I'm surpised a busy professional would say "oh I dont' mind another story!"  Usually if an adult child or care taker is kind enough to open this door for me, I jump thru politely with both feet - "oh, as much as I'd love to hear about your neighbor's dog's groomer's trash mans' new house's tile grout choices, (adult child) is correct, we don't have much time, so let's go ahead and discuss these stocks you sold for a big profit this year......"

If you are not their ride, it is still the same solution. Sign what you need to and get out. Most professionals have fail safes to get rid of long winded clients (I know my direct boss's client list so well that I know when to trigger the 'alarm')  Every office has a different 'alarm', but all of the ones I've worked in there is always one person that knows how to make a call from a break room phone to the front desk, thus resulting in saving a partner with an "emergency call from out of town".   Or whatever.   One firm I worked at we only used the 'alarm' when told to, via a private message to our personal workstation computer that would tell us when to come into the senior partners office and what to say, etc. to clear the room.    However, this was only after the senior partner had determined enough time had passed for a heafty bill. He knew he couldnt' get away with billing people for 2 - 3 hours of 'small talk'.  Depending on your parents relationship with the service provider you might mention how billing usually works (be careful here as I had a rather rude adult child say this sort of thing to her very sweet mother. I didn't care for the grown child or how she spoke to her mother, especially about how she couldnt wait until she was dead so she could have at her money.  I happily exclaimed that of course my firm does not bill Mrs. Sweet Lady by time, she had a flat fee of $35.00 for 1040 preparation each year and her bill had not changed in ten years and would not be changing. Adult daughter was really mad after that as I knew what she was paying at another firm for tax prep and hers was easier than her mom's. Adult daughter had already been fired from my firm.)
Sorry about my spelling.