"You just haven't met the right man"

[Jones]

I've noticed a lot of the people who say "Oh, you haven't met the right man yet" are people who believe in the One True Love, the Soulmate, the Accident of Fate to Whom No One Else can Compare. I've wanted to ask those people "Oh, what happens if the right man died in infancy?" but I haven't yet.

This is, however, the first time I've heard of someone saying it to a person who is currently in a happy, committed relationship.

[Tigger]

Holy Poop!!     Really ? Who says this?

OP, I am happily married with a kid and two cats and we live in a small suburb wayyy outside the big city where I work.  I have friends who have all different lifestyles and choices.  I can't imagine anyone I know saying that.  I also know that my lifestyle is not for everyone.  In fact one of my best friends would just about die if she lived in the boonies where I live.  Yet, she says she's happy that I'm happy.

You handle that with grace and dignity and you should be proud.  I'm not sure I would have been so nice 

[Kaypeep]

I like the PP who suggests pointing out that she just insulted your husband.  But I've had luck in the past with this:

CoWorker:  You just haven't met the right man.
YOU:  Nope, you're still wrong. To be the right man for me, he wouldn't want kids either.   

[Cat-Fu]

Yikes, what an awful thing to say. I hope she's just suffering from severe baby-brain and forgot that you're married. (Not that it makes it much better of a thing to say...)

[Mental Magpie]

Start to laugh. When she looks at you funny, say, "You're joking, right?" When she denies it, however subtly, say, "Because I can't believe anyone would say that and be serious about it. That's just ridiculous!" as you continue to laugh, shaking your head as you walk away.

[LifeOnPluto]

She probably says this to her single friends all the time, and just forgot that you were married.

I'd have gone with some variant of "You do know I'm married, right?" and waited for her response.

As for how to treat her in future - very coolly and distantly. I wouldn't engage in any "friendly" chats with her.

[JoyinVirginia]

Start to laugh. When she looks at you funny, say, "You're joking, right?" When she denies it, however subtly, say, "Because I can't believe anyone would say that and be serious about it. That's just ridiculous!" as you continue to laugh, shaking your head as you walk away.

I like the laughing response. ”oh, you are such a Kidder, you should do comedy!”
And then be far, far away from workplace!

[Lynnv]

She probably says this to her single friends all the time, and just forgot that you were married.

The only thing that changes is that, if she forgot OP was married, then she only meant to be rude to one person instead of two.  I suppose that makes it slightly less rude-but it is still a rude and nasty thing to say to someone.

[Venus193]

I had to look twice at your post to make sure this wasn't someone I worked with back in the 90s; now I see this could be a younger relative of hers.

The 60-ish woman worked for the company for at least 15 years and the victim of her verbal poison was there for 7.  The younger woman had been involved with the same boyfriend that entire time and he would come to meet her at the end of the day two days per week when he got off earlier.  Everyone knew him.

One day the younger woman came in and announced she was pregnant.  Everyone else in the department was congratulating her when this fishwife said "Are you sure you know who the father is?"  There was a racist overtone to this comment that I will not describe here.

When I heard about this a few months later I asked the victim "What did you say to her?"  She replied "Nothing.  I was too shocked that she would have the nerve."

Unfortunately nobody could give this woman the cut direct but we also stopped talking about anything personal with her hearing.  We extended that radius by 100% for safety's sake.  She was not terminated until a downsizing, as the company feared an age-discrimination lawsuit.

I would have raised an eyebrow and said "Excuse me?" in the most condescending tone I could manage.

[LifeOnPluto]

She probably says this to her single friends all the time, and just forgot that you were married.

The only thing that changes is that, if she forgot OP was married, then she only meant to be rude to one person instead of two.  I suppose that makes it slightly less rude-but it is still a rude and nasty thing to say to someone.

Oh yes - don't get me wrong! It's still a rude thing to say, even if the person is single.

[Piratelvr1121]

I've noticed a lot of the people who say "Oh, you haven't met the right man yet" are people who believe in the One True Love, the Soulmate, the Accident of Fate to Whom No One Else can Compare. I've wanted to ask those people "Oh, what happens if the right man died in infancy?" but I haven't yet.

This is, however, the first time I've heard of someone saying it to a person who is currently in a happy, committed relationship.

I know a guy like the bolded. Ironically his "soulmate" is divorcing him. If I were still speaking to him the temptation to say "So you still believe in soulmates?" would be too tempting. His definition of a soulmate is someone you loved at first sight. That was crucial. If there was no love at first sight, that person is not your soulmate, according to this guy.  And according to him your soulmate is the only person you could have true love with. 

[artk2002]

I've noticed a lot of the people who say "Oh, you haven't met the right man yet" are people who believe in the One True Love, the Soulmate, the Accident of Fate to Whom No One Else can Compare. I've wanted to ask those people "Oh, what happens if the right man died in infancy?" but I haven't yet.

This is, however, the first time I've heard of someone saying it to a person who is currently in a happy, committed relationship.

I know a guy like the bolded. Ironically his "soulmate" is divorcing him. If I were still speaking to him the temptation to say "So you still believe in soulmates?" would be too tempting. His definition of a soulmate is someone you loved at first sight. That was crucial. If there was no love at first sight, that person is not your soulmate, according to this guy.  And according to him your soulmate is the only person you could have true love with. 

Why do I hear Wesley wheezing "twu wuv" while Miracle Max pushes on his chest?

[violinp]

I've noticed a lot of the people who say "Oh, you haven't met the right man yet" are people who believe in the One True Love, the Soulmate, the Accident of Fate to Whom No One Else can Compare. I've wanted to ask those people "Oh, what happens if the right man died in infancy?" but I haven't yet.

This is, however, the first time I've heard of someone saying it to a person who is currently in a happy, committed relationship.

I know a guy like the bolded. Ironically his "soulmate" is divorcing him. If I were still speaking to him the temptation to say "So you still believe in soulmates?" would be too tempting. His definition of a soulmate is someone you loved at first sight. That was crucial. If there was no love at first sight, that person is not your soulmate, according to this guy.  And according to him your soulmate is the only person you could have true love with. 

Well, by that definition, I had at least two soulmates just in high school. 

[jedikaiti]

I've noticed a lot of the people who say "Oh, you haven't met the right man yet" are people who believe in the One True Love, the Soulmate, the Accident of Fate to Whom No One Else can Compare. I've wanted to ask those people "Oh, what happens if the right man died in infancy?" but I haven't yet.

This is, however, the first time I've heard of someone saying it to a person who is currently in a happy, committed relationship.

I know a guy like the bolded. Ironically his "soulmate" is divorcing him. If I were still speaking to him the temptation to say "So you still believe in soulmates?" would be too tempting. His definition of a soulmate is someone you loved at first sight. That was crucial. If there was no love at first sight, that person is not your soulmate, according to this guy.  And according to him your soulmate is the only person you could have true love with. 

Well, by that definition, I had at least two soulmates just in high school. 

Heck, at that age I had a new one every week!

[MissRose]

Those questions are simply too personal.  Your reasons for things like: getting married, having kids, etc should not be asked in any setting.  Some people may not wish to do something due to financial things, others medical reasons, and others no reason they want to give.  The reasons need to be respected, plain and simple.