Cure for those that issue commands disguised as a question

[Sophia]

I have found a cure for those people in your life that like to issue a command, but disguise it as a question or a helpful suggestion.  Example, "Wouldn't you like to unload the dishwasher?"  There is good news!  I have found a cure!  Although some might the solution a bit extreme, and it also only works on your parents.  This is what you do:

• Give your parents a grandchild.  Bonus if it is the long awaited first.
• Wait until your child becomes a toddler, and learns the word "No!"
• Visit your parents
• Try not to laugh too loudly at the result

We visited my folk's house this last weekend for my mother's birthday.  This is a good example of what happened:
My daughter climbed into my mom's leather rocking recliner and was rocking away with a big happy smile on her face.  My mom walked up, "Wouldn't you like to let Grandma sit there?"  My daughter, "No", as she continues to rock happily.  My mom looked at me like I was supposed to do something.  I told her, "You put it in the form of a question.  It is her recliner now."  Many more examples like this, but they did peter off during the weekend. 

Dad and my DH totatlly backed me up, because her non-questions have always driven us nuts and were only partially helped by us saying "No" to all questions. 

[violinp]

Oh, man...I'm wiping tears from my eyes!

[cicero]

<for your DD>

[siamesecat2965]

That is so awesome!  I'm 46 and my mom STILL does that to me.  Although she knows by now she will get a snarky response in the form of "no" or "I don't want to, but if you'd like me to I will"

[bloo]

hahahahahahaha!

This is awesome and so totally cute! I wasn't raised that way so it drives me nuts when I get questions from my DH like, 'are you thirsty?' (translation: get me something to drink). I'm all like 'just ask directly!'

[CakeEater]

I must admit, I'm a sometime offender at this. I was partly cured at age 20, when a girl I was supervising at work said to me, "You're asking, but I know you mean, 'just do it.' "

DH is learning not to do it in his tone of voice with DD. If you say 'bathtime' as a question, she'll just say no. If you say it with a decided tone, she'll head to the bathroom.

[Rohanna]

My DH does this with our older son- drives me *and* the kid nuts. I think it's rather rude to the kiddo, because it's makes him feel like his answers don't "count". He's gotten a little better since I've talked to him about it- but he still slips in too many "Do you want a bath" kind of questions. 

[diesel_darlin]

That is hilarious! 

I hate those type of questions. Especially when someone wants me to do something. Instead of asking me to do it, they say "do you wanna". No, as a matter of fact I do not WANT TO take out the trash/wash the dishes/wash the car/ light the cat on fire. But I will because you are ASKING me to, right?

[Hunter-Gatherer]

My ex and I used to have fights about something very close, but not exactly this.  Instead of asking, say, "Will you wash the dishes, please?" she would instead ask, "Do you want to wash the dishes?"  She'd get extremely annoyed with me when my answer was, "No, I don't want to, but I will."  Apparently, the idea that it needed to be done and that at that particular moment it would be easier for me than for her were enough that I was supposed to *want* to do it, even though it was something I didn't like doing and found a rather unpleasant task.  It wasn't enough that I would do it, I had to want to do it.

[Sophia]

Yeah, that you should want to do the xyz unpleasant task.  I think Mom genuinely thinks she is being Nice and also Polite, and she really doesn't get that we find it insulting. 

[MariaE]

Yeah, that you should want to do the xyz unpleasant task.  I think Mom genuinely thinks she is being Nice and also Polite, and she really doesn't get that we find it insulting.

Yeah, my husband does the same and it drives me insane. Or the even worse version, "You can wash the dishes now if you want" as if he's doing me a favour in letting me get to do the chore.

Thankfully I've pretty much gotten him trained out of the latter, and usually also the former, but it took awhile.

[audhs]

I hate this too.   It makes me think of the self checkout machines at the grocery store it always asks "How many bags do you want to buy today?"  Um i don't want to buy any  but I need 3.  I always want to answer 0 and still take the bags I need, and play dumb.

[JenJay]

   That's awesome!!

I have someone in my life who will see me doing a chore we've both been putting off and say "Oh, I was going to do that." while making absolutely NO move to get up and help. As expected I'd always say "That's okay, I've got it." I started to realize that I was getting the crap end of that stick so now about half the time I'll say "Really? That'd be great. Thanks!" and I go sit down. 

[heartmug]

That is great!  That reminds me of when I hear parents correcting their kids and they will say something like "Susie you need to stay by mama while we are in the store.  Okay?"  I am waiting for the first kid to say "No, that is not okay with me."  lol

[Yvaine]

  That's awesome!!

I have someone in my life who will see me doing a chore we've both been putting off and say "Oh, I was going to do that." while making absolutely NO move to get up and help. As expected I'd always say "That's okay, I've got it." I started to realize that I was getting the crap end of that stick so now about half the time I'll say "Really? That'd be great. Thanks!" and I go sit down. 

Oh yes, and how about nebulous offers to help that are retracted as soon as they find out what you're doing? A few weeks ago I was carrying a large unwieldy object from one building of my work to another. The place is set up, in fact, so that there's pretty much nowhere else I could have been going. I was, pretty obviously, carrying this thing to that building.

Someone came up to me all gushy-fake-sincere and said "Do you need some heeeeelllllp?" I said, "Well, I'm carrying this thing to that building, do you have time to head over there with me?" She muttered sheepishly and disappeared...