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Quote from: RingTailedLemur on September 12, 2012, 12:20:09 PMThe sudden snap between being nasty guy and lovely guy is a HUGE red flag for me. Massive.I agree; that's the weirdest part for me. But I wouldn't have let the popcorn hoarding pass without asking, "what's your deal? Give me my popcorn." And I would make him explain himself. I don't think it's too late for that.
The sudden snap between being nasty guy and lovely guy is a HUGE red flag for me. Massive.
Quote from: LazyDaisy on September 12, 2012, 01:41:52 PMYou can hold it out to a person but you can't make them take it is my thought on that. She didn't make a move to take the bag, just handfuls of popcorn.I'm pretty sure that if he had ever tried to pass the whole bag to her, she would have taken it. He didn't. Instead he kept a death grip on it.
You can hold it out to a person but you can't make them take it is my thought on that. She didn't make a move to take the bag, just handfuls of popcorn.
I think there might be a more innocent explanation to his behaviour. He, like me, might hate if someone near them its popcorn during a movie. I don't mind people eating something, but popcorn is on of those things which almost always is not noiseless. And I prefer to enjoy quietness around me when spending the money to watch a movie in the theater. He just might have been really bad at communicating.
Also, my experience with guys is that they all tend to eat popcorn in big messy handfuls instead of 1-2 at a time like women do so the description of him shoveling it in doesn't make me think he was trying to keep it to himself just that he lacks...finesse. I learned early on that if I wanted my share of uncrushed popcorn, I need my own container.
I'm with Lazy Daisy... and I think it merits pointing out so is the OP's friend who went on the this date - she is after all going on another date with the guy.Yes his behavior was off. Yes it was strange and it absolutely warrants a closer look. But there are possible explanations. It could be as LazyDaisy is suggesting and an awkward attempt at chivalry mixed with a 'gets lost in action movies' personality. Or it could be as I mentioned a food issue of his own and being presented with an unexpected temptation and close proximity to someone indulging while he has to use every ounce of self control to hold back. Or maybe its some other strange issue.And sure maybe it is because he's a jerk. That is one of many possibilities. But clearly the person who met him and experienced this behavior felt it was merely a possibility, not a sure thing, so she's going out to dinner with him.The behavior I think we all agree was wrong and not pleasant or even acceptable, but that doesn't mean the whole man is a bad person. I bet each and every poster on this site has at least one very annoying to some people, possibly all people, habit or trait.
“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”― Maya AngelouHe's shown her.
Quote from: QueenfaninCA on September 12, 2012, 02:03:57 PMI think there might be a more innocent explanation to his behaviour. He, like me, might hate if someone near them its popcorn during a movie. I don't mind people eating something, but popcorn is on of those things which almost always is not noiseless. And I prefer to enjoy quietness around me when spending the money to watch a movie in the theater. He just might have been really bad at communicating.If that were the case, though, he was still wildly out of line to take her popcorn and keep it from her. If he couldn't bring himself to say "I hope this doesn't bother you, but I can't stand the sound of someone eating right next to me. Would you mind if we didn't get snacks?" then it was on him to sit silently and deal with the munching. He doesn't get to decide OP's friend isn't allowed to do X just because he doesn't like it. That's why people are saying he was being controlling. Whether his reasoning was popcorn is noisy/unhealthy/smelly/whatever it's not okay for him to take the bag and prevent her from eating it.
To me, it's fine if he had any of the issues suggested. What's not fine is that he couldn't just tell her that. Instead, he exhibited very strange behavior, and deprived her of enjoying something she paid for. Then, after the movie, he couldn't just mention it with a quick explanation? At best, he's bad at communicating, at worst he's a controlling jerk.
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