First Date Popcorn Hoarding? What do you think? more info 16 update pg 8, 10

[Isometric]

This is so bizarre! I can't think of any logical explanation, apart from control inssues, like PP's have mentioned.

Definitely a red flag, at minimum.

I like second chances, so I agree with others who've said to order food again. As in, a massive slice of chocolate cake. With whipped cream. And hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

[Calypso]

This is so bizarre! I can't think of any logical explanation, apart from control inssues, like PP's have mentioned.

Definitely a red flag, at minimum.

I like second chances, so I agree with others who've said to order food again. As in, a massive slice of chocolate cake. With whipped cream. And hot chocolate with extra marshmallows.

POD all of this.
I read the OP to my sweetie, and he found it appallingly bad manners, at the very least (but then, he has the antiquated notion that women are wonderful and should be treated honorably whether you're dating them or not).

And I'll go so far as to say, a man who counts every bite you put into your mouth is likely to be equally tight-reared and stingy in other ways----say, when playing Scrabble.

[Kitty Hawk]

Who cares why he behaved that way?  It was terribly inappropriate.

I agree with this.  I wouldn't care why he acted that way or what kind of problem he had, I just plain wouldn't want to deal with it. And I wouldn't give him another chance, either.

[Iris]

Who cares why he behaved that way?  It was terribly inappropriate.

I agree with this.  I wouldn't care why he acted that way or what kind of problem he had, I just plain wouldn't want to deal with it. And I wouldn't give him another chance, either.

I agree with this too. We could tie ourselves in knots over this for days trying to guess his motivations but it comes down to one thing for me; I, personally, don't like it when others comment on what I eat, verbally or non-verbally. I, personally, find it rude and abrasive and inappropriate. I, personally, would not go on another date with a guy who behaved like this.

If the OP's friend chooses to do so that is up to her. But if for some reason I decided to see this guy again I would probably order a really large meal plus dessert and watch his face. That's just me, though.

[Honeypickle]

I agree with the above posters - who cares WHY? He sounds awful and I'm sure the OP's friend could meet someone much nicer. To have this much angst about someone's behavour after a FIRST date is just more trouble than its worth. Move on OP's Friend - you deserve better!

[JonGirl]

Ok yes I know that.  But I mean not a control issue as in controlling her in a emotionally or physically abusive way, but more about his own sense of control over himself.  I think the popcorn issue was about him and his relationship to food going into his body more then about the food that goes into other people's body's.  I think in this case it manifested itself against her food intake simply due to a variety of factors like being around the food unexpectedly, being asked to hold the food, and knowing he was going to be sitting next to someone who planed to [seemingly mindlessly] eat for 2 hours.

I think I might just be having a hard time buying this theory because as someone with a lot of disordered-eating thoughts and behaviors, it NEVER occurs to me to think about someone else's eating. I'm way too busy (overly, ridiculously busy) policing my own food, and/or silently fretting about what other people MIGHT be thinking about what I am eating.

This is soooo me.
When I was younger, I went out with a guy who made comments about my body and how it looks like pears. 
I have all sorts of issues now and I'm a lot older now. This girl needs to get the hell away from this guy. Like yesterday. 

[Cat-Fu]

I suppose it would be inappropriate to get popcorn ready in anticipation of an update after the date tomorrow? I promise I won't hoard it.

[Piratelvr1121]

This whole thread has me craving popcorn!

[whatsanenigma]

Another problem I have with the guy is that he (apparently) didn't think to clean up after himself at the theater.  Just leaving trash on the floor is a big no-no to me.

I wouldn't want to go out with him again.

I was thinking about this aspect myself.

Just that all by itself, the "just leave it" when she went to pick up the bag, might very well mean that he has the attitude of "they have people to do that" and that if you do it you're lowering yourself somehow.  I have certainly known people like that in my own life, even those who wouldn't have done any of the other popcorn-related weirdness.

[AfleetAlex]

If any is left over after my movie I take it home and eat it later. No use wasting perfectly good movie popcorn!

[Allyson]

I really don't think I could've restrained myself from turning to him and saying, "What is wrong with you?" or similar! Whatever the reason behind it, and any of those suggested seem plausible, his behaviour was really odd and pretty rude. The mood switches especiallly would have me on edge.

[Danika]

I think the "Leave it!" comment would have sealed the deal for me. Everything else, I could have said "Maybe I misunderstood. Maybe we miscommunicated." The "Leave it" tells me he's controlling.

Just theories I've thought of:

Maybe he just likes to be mean and see how much he can push a girl around. If she puts up with it, he wants to keep dating her. It could have had nothing to do with food.

Or maybe he does think fake buttered popcorn is unhealthy or fattening.

I have a question. Was the sodapop full sugar or diet? If it was diet, it explains why he handed it back. He controls his girlfriends and allows them to consume things that will keep them thin, only.

I'm interested in in an update. I couldn't go out with someone like this again because if he made one more controlling action keeping me from food that I planned to eat, I'd wonder for weeks and months if I were too fat and if the whole world saw me that way.

[ydpubs]

I would NOT give that guy another chance.

The nanosecond he kept my property that I PAID for away from me, that would have been it. I would have said straight out: What is your deal? You didn't want any, I did, I BOUGHT it, give me MY popcorn. I find it very peculiar that you said you didn't want any, yet I saw you horking it down like it was going to be banned tomorrow, yet give me attitude because I dared to buy it just because you claimed you didn't want any.

It would never have gotten to the point where he said: Just leave it, because depending on what his response was to giving me my popcorn, you better bet I'd be leaving something. I would be leaving him right then there for being obnoxious and controlling to me.

I don't care if he has issues or a lifetime subscription, I ain't signing up for it, I got enough of my own. Life is to short to walk on eggshells around Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde.

[Raintree]

I would be inclined to go out with him again in the name of research, just to see what he does at an outdoor cafe when the OP orders a big meal for herself.

Yes, research only! For the benefit of e-hellions. But one more sign of behaviour like that and he's out!! And yes, ask him what was up with the popcorn.

As I was reading the OP, my thought was "I'd never go out with him again." However, I do understand what it's like to be fooled by the quick switch back to Nice Guy. I had one of those; it didn't turn out well. The Nice Guy I dated really did seem nice for a few weeks and suddenly he had an outburst over nothing, that took me by surprise. Then he was back to apologetic Nice Guy. This became an increasingly frequent pattern. And yes, he frequently commented on my food intake or told me I shouldn't eat certain things. I was fit and trim at the time, as if that should make any difference. I don't know why I put up with him so long but the last time I saw him, I was at his place about to tell him I was done with him, when a girl I didn't know knocked on the door. He invited her in and they sat and chatted about people I didn't know for ages, ignoring me while I sat there twiddling my thumbs getting tired and wishing she'd leave so I could complete my breakup. (Also very rude behaviour on his part, but I believe he was trying to make me jealous). I finally got up to leave, and broke up with him later by phone.

Sorry for the digression. But he really did have food issues, ie issues about what *I* ate. I'd be telling him a story that might involve, "I went to the grocery store to buy ice cream, and......" (meaning to continue with an interesting story about buying ice cream) and he wouldn't even let me finish my story without interrupting, "If you buy that stuff you're going to get SO FAT."

Seems it's not all that uncommon for control-freaky guys to use food to control.

[Piratelvr1121]

I would NOT give that guy another chance.

The nanosecond he kept my property that I PAID for away from me, that would have been it. I would have said straight out: What is your deal? You didn't want any, I did, I BOUGHT it, give me MY popcorn. I find it very peculiar that you said you didn't want any, yet I saw you horking it down like it was going to be banned tomorrow, yet give me attitude because I dared to buy it just because you claimed you didn't want any.

It would never have gotten to the point where he said: Just leave it, because depending on what his response was to giving me my popcorn, you better bet I'd be leaving something. I would be leaving him right then there for being obnoxious and controlling to me.

I don't care if he has issues or a lifetime subscription, I ain't signing up for it, I got enough of my own. Life is to short to walk on eggshells around Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde.

POD.  The "Leave it" would really bug me. No, dude, I paid for that, I'm not leaving it, I'm taking it home so I can eat the rest of it...without you.