First Date Popcorn Hoarding? What do you think? more info 16 update pg 8, 10

[Yvaine]

Yup, obsessed with women's weight and a total donkey's backside. Bullet dodged and good for your friend and her spine!

[squashedfrog]

I'm amazed he didn't end up wearing dinner to be honest, she has been very reserved over this one!

[Cz. Burrito]

Thank her for us for providing the entertainment.  Glad he showed his hind end this early on and saved her the trouble. 

I was married to this guy, and, believe me, it's no fun.  Highlights include being sneered at after I finish 35 minutes on the elliptical with an imploring "is that all you're going to do?"

[Twik]

Anyone for bets on how he's currently telling his buddies about the horrible girl who dumped him after only two dates? And why no women appreciate nice guys these days?

I wonder if his weight-gaining girlfriend is just a story, or whether he did have one, but his constant hectoring drove her to overeat just out of desire to prove he couldn't control her?

[Cz. Burrito]

I wonder if his weight-gaining girlfriend is just a story, or whether he did have one, but his constant hectoring drove her to overeat just out of desire to prove he couldn't control her?

I'd put money on the latter.  I definitely gained weight due to my food/exercise-nagging ex.  He was also, interestingly enough, obsessed with running and thought me a failure for not doing it (it makes my ankles stabby).

[squashedfrog]

I wondered that to be honest.   I personally wouldn't trust the guy as far as I could throw him, but as she mentioned, its not her problem anymore.   I don't think he's contacted her since which is good news.  Makes you wonder if the ex actually was that weight, or just in his eyes.  They are both shut of him in my opinion!

The dates on when he split up with her compared to how on he's been on the sites though, its proof he's lying about something either way!  Made me wonder why he stayed so long communicating on-line but then I reckon I over-think things!

I was worried he might turn up at her gym, but she said its expensive and she actually gets a whoppingly stupid discount through her work, so she doesn't think he'd be able to go there.

[Cz. Burrito]

I was worried he might turn up at her gym, but she said its expensive and she actually gets a whoppingly stupid discount through her work, so she doesn't think he'd be able to go there.

Good. I was worried about that, too. 

[Yvaine]

I wonder if his weight-gaining girlfriend is just a story, or whether he did have one, but his constant hectoring drove her to overeat just out of desire to prove he couldn't control her?

I'd put money on the latter.  I definitely gained weight due to my food/exercise-nagging ex.  He was also, interestingly enough, obsessed with running and thought me a failure for not doing it (it makes my ankles stabby).

Obsession with running in particular is really common in this type of jerk. I used to work with a guy who would nag another co-worker about how she shouldn't bicycle to work, she should run instead because it was "better exercise." She kept trying to explain that the goal of biking to work wasn't "to maximize the amount of exercise she was getting" but "to have a pleasant bike ride to work," and running was less enjoyable for her, so it wouldn't achieve that goal. The woman was in great shape, too, though that doesn't even matter to this variety of mansplainer.

[SuperMartianRobotGirl]

I am so not surprised by this update. I bet a lot of us have had run-ins with men who would like to control our food intake. Bad news, and a big red flag you can see early in dates.

[Lorelei_Evil]

Yep, there certainly do seem to be a lot of "No Fat Chicks" types about. 

They seem to keep getting dumped!   

[Yvaine]

Yep, there certainly do seem to be a lot of "No Fat Chicks" types about. 

They seem to keep getting dumped!   

They fail to realize they're running off the Fat Chicks and the Skinny Chicks alike, with their obnoxiousness!

[squashedfrog]

what surprised me is that he tried it on so early.  I thought these types tried to wear girls down first.  I wonder if he was in that relationship so long before he thought it would be that easy. 

But again, thats me over thinking its one of those things you'll never know.  Can't pop these people in a petri dish and poke 'em with a scalpel to know how they work alas.

[SuperMartianRobotGirl]

I think they do it from the start. When I was dating, it would always be guys I met running, or at the gym, and I assume that's because they wanted thin women they could assume would stay thin. Then if you'd do anything that might someday cause a pound to be gained, they'd flip out. Including and maybe especially on the first date, because they need to make sure you're obsessive enough about your weight.

[Yvaine]

I think they do it from the start. When I was dating, it would always be guys I met running, or at the gym, and I assume that's because they wanted thin women they could assume would stay thin. Then if you'd do anything that might someday cause a pound to be gained, they'd flip out. Including and maybe especially on the first date, because they need to make sure you're obsessive enough about your weight.

It's just a sad way to live (in addition to the jerky way they go about it), and a way to set oneself up for a whole life of disappointing serial monogamy as they continue to chase the shiny. Not wanting to start a debate about the value of exercise in general--it's just this idea that you can get into a long-term relationship and you can somehow micromanage the person into never changing. Even if they stay exactly the same weight forever and ever, they will age. They might develop health problems. They will change emotionally/mentally. And so will the person wanting to do the controlling. It's just part of being human.

[siamesecat2965]

What a butthead! OP, I'm glad your friend stood up to him, and told him there would not BE any more dates!  I wouldn't put up with his baloney either.  While I'm fluffy and out of shape, running is something I simply cannot do, due to my knees being completely shot.  So that and a lot of other exercises are out of the question.  yet in the past, I've worked with PT's who were able to work around MY limitations, and give me other stuff to do. 

And anyone who dares to question MY food consumption will have an issue.  Even if I look like I could miss a whole bunch of meals! He was way too controlling, and I'm not surprised he's single!