First Date Popcorn Hoarding? What do you think? more info 16 update pg 8, 10

[hobish]

There we go, run of the mill jerk. No armchair psycho-analysis needed. I sometimes think people apply just a bit too much personal experience to these things and see some kind of a psychotic abuser at every instance.

[NyaChan]

There we go, run of the mill jerk. No armchair psycho-analysis needed. I sometimes think people apply just a bit too much personal experience to these things and see some kind of a psychotic abuser at every instance.

yeah, sometimes the things I read here make me too scared to get out there and date at all.  But then I remind myself that few people will post just to say how awesome their SO is as there is no etiquette dilemma there 

[weeblewobble]

She got home, he calls her from the pub and apologized again, and admitted that he could be ‘funny’ about things like food, that his last girlfriend had put on 4 stone in the 6 years they had been together and he hated watching her do that to herself and that she never listened to him, and that he” felt helpless watching her do it to herself”. 

Well, you poor wounded panda, please use this past experience as an excuse to emotionally batter all future dates because if it's from a place of "concern" it's clearly righteous and justified, right? 

Seriously, I don't think your friend could have handled this better. 

[weeblewobble]

So yep, you guessed it, he starts to frown and asks why she needs two sides(??).    He then tells her that that is “totally defeating the object of going down the gym, as what’s the point in doing all that exercise if you are just going to pig out afterwards?”  (not sure if those the exact words, but the phrase pig out was definitely

Does anyone else hear a woman's voice saying, "And that's when I stabbed him with a fork, Your Honor." ?

[SamiHami]

There we go, run of the mill jerk. No armchair psycho-analysis needed. I sometimes think people apply just a bit too much personal experience to these things and see some kind of a psychotic abuser at every instance.

yeah, sometimes the things I read here make me too scared to get out there and date at all.  But then I remind myself that few people will post just to say how awesome their SO is as there is no etiquette dilemma there 

Well, my DH is pretty awesome--not perfect, but pretty darn good. There are a few of them out there...they're just hard to find. But they are worth the search.

[Piratelvr1121]

So yep, you guessed it, he starts to frown and asks why she needs two sides(??).    He then tells her that that is “totally defeating the object of going down the gym, as what’s the point in doing all that exercise if you are just going to pig out afterwards?”  (not sure if those the exact words, but the phrase pig out was definitely

Does anyone else hear a woman's voice saying, "And that's when I stabbed him with a fork, Your Honor." ?

"Then, he ran into my knife.  He ran into it ten times.  He had it comin', he had it comin' all along..."

[Snooks]

Well I hope you're happy, I've just demolished a large bowl of popcorn all by myself thanks to this thread 

[jedikaiti]

There we go, run of the mill jerk. No armchair psycho-analysis needed. I sometimes think people apply just a bit too much personal experience to these things and see some kind of a psychotic abuser at every instance.

yeah, sometimes the things I read here make me too scared to get out there and date at all.  But then I remind myself that few people will post just to say how awesome their SO is as there is no etiquette dilemma there 

Mine is totally awesome. ;-)

Actually, he really is - he's super encouraging and supports any and all of my efforts to get my weight under control, but not a nasty peep ever when I opt for a good dessert.

Took me flippin forever to find him, though!

[Hillia]

This is my BIL.  He weighs, literally, 500lbs or more and is of average looks.  He refuses to even consider a woman who is not supermodel beautiful and considers it 'lowering his standards' - he posts long FB rants about how he won't 'settle' for just anyone and if that means he'll be alone forever, then that's ok with him. (except he whines, so no it's not).  He also has the charming habit of posting nasty jokes about women he sees on dating sites.  Not specific women, but he'll pos a picture of an ugly animal and say,'Most of the women on <dating site> look like this!!!!!'.  Charming.  He also gripes a lot about 'SIFs' - Secret Internet Fatties.  He asserts that most women post overly flattering photos, and are all really extremely obese and unattractive.

Is it any wonder he can't get a date?

[Danika]

This is my BIL.  He weighs, literally, 500lbs or more and is of average looks.  He refuses to even consider a woman who is not supermodel beautiful and considers it 'lowering his standards' - he posts long FB rants about how he won't 'settle' for just anyone and if that means he'll be alone forever, then that's ok with him. (except he whines, so no it's not).  He also has the charming habit of posting nasty jokes about women he sees on dating sites.  Not specific women, but he'll pos a picture of an ugly animal and say,'Most of the women on <dating site> look like this!!!!!'.  Charming.  He also gripes a lot about 'SIFs' - Secret Internet Fatties.  He asserts that most women post overly flattering photos, and are all really extremely obese and unattractive.

Is it any wonder he can't get a date?

Sounds like my cousin. He's not quite as bad. He's about 280lbs, so not uncommon. But because his mom and sister both struggle with their weight, he doesn't want a woman like that. He wants someone super skinny. His sister has set him up with some super skinny women before and then after dinner he'll say "I don't want to go out with her again. She has eating issues. She only ordered a salad, but didn't eat it. She just pushed the lettuce pieces around the plate with her fork all night." So, I guess he wants someone super skinny with an unnatural and dangerous metabolism that can down 3000 calories a day and still fit into a size 0. Good luck with that.

[gramma dishes]

This is my BIL.  He weighs, literally, 500lbs or more and is of average looks.  He refuses to even consider a woman who is not supermodel beautiful and considers it 'lowering his standards' - he posts long FB rants about how he won't 'settle' for just anyone and if that means he'll be alone forever, then that's ok with him. (except he whines, so no it's not).  He also has the charming habit of posting nasty jokes about women he sees on dating sites.  Not specific women, but he'll pos a picture of an ugly animal and say,'Most of the women on <dating site> look like this!!!!!'.  Charming.  He also gripes a lot about 'SIFs' - Secret Internet Fatties.  He asserts that most women post overly flattering photos, and are all really extremely obese and unattractive.

Is it any wonder he can't get a date?

Don't you sometimes wonder if he recognizes what he looks like and he assumes he won't be attractive to any woman anywhere anytime, so he sets up these totally unrealistic requirements that no real woman could ever live up to even if she were  actually interested in him?  That way he can convince his friends that the only reason he isn't with someone is because they aren't good enough for him -- and he's silly enough to think that even though HE knows better, his friends will buy it.

[exitzero]

So yep, you guessed it, he starts to frown and asks why she needs two sides(??).    He then tells her that that is “totally defeating the object of going down the gym, as what’s the point in doing all that exercise if you are just going to pig out afterwards?”  (not sure if those the exact words, but the phrase pig out was definitely

Does anyone else hear a woman's voice saying, "And that's when I stabbed him with a fork, Your Honor." ?

And then judge says, "Case dismissed!"

[violinp]

So yep, you guessed it, he starts to frown and asks why she needs two sides(??).    He then tells her that that is “totally defeating the object of going down the gym, as what’s the point in doing all that exercise if you are just going to pig out afterwards?”  (not sure if those the exact words, but the phrase pig out was definitely

Does anyone else hear a woman's voice saying, "And that's when I stabbed him with a fork, Your Honor." ?

"Then, he ran into my knife.  He ran into it ten times.  He had it comin', he had it comin' all along..."

WIN 

[Hillia]

This is my BIL.  He weighs, literally, 500lbs or more and is of average looks.  He refuses to even consider a woman who is not supermodel beautiful and considers it 'lowering his standards' - he posts long FB rants about how he won't 'settle' for just anyone and if that means he'll be alone forever, then that's ok with him. (except he whines, so no it's not).  He also has the charming habit of posting nasty jokes about women he sees on dating sites.  Not specific women, but he'll pos a picture of an ugly animal and say,'Most of the women on <dating site> look like this!!!!!'.  Charming.  He also gripes a lot about 'SIFs' - Secret Internet Fatties.  He asserts that most women post overly flattering photos, and are all really extremely obese and unattractive.

Is it any wonder he can't get a date?

Don't you sometimes wonder if he recognizes what he looks like and he assumes he won't be attractive to any woman anywhere anytime, so he sets up these totally unrealistic requirements that no real woman could ever live up to even if she were  actually interested in him?  That way he can convince his friends that the only reason he isn't with someone is because they aren't good enough for him -- and he's silly enough to think that even though HE knows better, his friends will buy it.

Actually, yes, we've kicked this idea around quite a bit.  He's very invested in being better than everyone around him...it's easy in his current situation, because he lives with his parents in a tiny, impoverished rural town, where most people barely make it out of high school.  He finished college (and sincerely, good for him) and that elevates him to the status of reigning intellectual even though he's not terribly bright and his grasp of what he learned in school is tenuous.

[weeblewobble]

This is my BIL.  He weighs, literally, 500lbs or more and is of average looks.  He refuses to even consider a woman who is not supermodel beautiful and considers it 'lowering his standards' - he posts long FB rants about how he won't 'settle' for just anyone and if that means he'll be alone forever, then that's ok with him. (except he whines, so no it's not).  He also has the charming habit of posting nasty jokes about women he sees on dating sites.  Not specific women, but he'll pos a picture of an ugly animal and say,'Most of the women on <dating site> look like this!!!!!'.  Charming.  He also gripes a lot about 'SIFs' - Secret Internet Fatties.  He asserts that most women post overly flattering photos, and are all really extremely obese and unattractive.

Is it any wonder he can't get a date?

But these models are supposed to see through your BIL's exterior to the beautiful soul inside, right?  They're supposed get over their superficialities and value him for the good person he is, right? 

I blame this on two things.  1) Your BIL is a doofus.  2) The TV/movie trope involving lovable chubby guys happily married to thin, gorgeous women. (The Jim Belushi Show, King of Queens, heck, the Honeymooners)  It reinforces this idea that women are programmed to look past the surface and be the more emotionally mature person in the relationship.  It's OK for men to want a pretty, slender wife, but if a woman wants a good-looking hunk of a man, she's shallow and heartless.