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Author Topic: S/O commands disguised as a question  (Read 5817 times)

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Re: S/O commands disguised as a question
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2012, 10:59:59 AM »
My son is one and a half and has already grasped the concept that there's "want a bath" and "need a bath". Play in the mud, ready to go in the house? "Ba'h Ma!"
A real desire to believe all the good you can of others and to make others as comfortable as you can will solve most of the problems. CS Lewis


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Re: S/O commands disguised as a question
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2012, 11:38:01 AM »
In a slightly related note, I once had a perfect stranger scold me in the grocery store over issuing (minor) reprimands/instructions to the boys with a "please" attached. ("DS1, please put that back; we don't need cookies this week." "DS2, please stop badgering your brother.")

"You're the boss!" she told.  ::)

Well, yes, but with minor stuff there's no reason not to use "please" with it; for the first comment, anyway. I want them to use the word; I should as well.

I see no reason not to use "please" when issuing a command.  Even my boss uses "please" when telling me what to do.

I'm trying to get DH in the habit of saying please.  Imo, "Please" doesn't imply that it's an option, rather I'm just expressing my command in a polite way.

That said, when they say "Brothersname, can I please have some of your snack?" and then get bent out of shape when they're told "No" I remind them that saying please doesn't mean they'll get it, it simply makes the request polite.   Which is why I've tried to get away from referring to "Please" as the "Magic word".
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Garden Goblin

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Re: S/O commands disguised as a question
« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2012, 01:10:28 PM »
On the other hand, you are letting your son know in some cases bathing is optional.  Is he ready to understand that sometimes it isn't and sometimes it is? or is it better just to say Bath Time! or not say anything.

I imagine that when it's not optional, she phrases it in a more firm manner.

Yep.  If it's not an option, I say, 'get in the bath.'  On occasion, I say, 'are you ready for your bath?' and if the response is 'no', give a deadline - 'okay, you can finish this TV show/game/other activity, then it is bath time'.

But if it's an option, it's an option, and if it is both unnecessary and unwanted, I see no reason why I should make him.