I can read the original letter as a few other people did: it is MOG who is going all "Romeo and Juliet have a happy ending," with hoopla, bloody sheets out the window, and BWW stuff. It sounds like POB are planning a nice wedding, but perhaps more OTT than they think appropriate, but the HC want it, and so they are going for it. MOG seems like the driving force behind fairy-tale excesses, and wants GOG to act as tickled and thrilled at this as if it were Romeo and Juliet: young, innocent and in the fresh bloom of hot love. After being an established couple for a while, and living together for another while, their love, one hopes, has matured, deepened and grown, and their marriage is a celebration of that as well as of future committment. That is great and wonderful, just as a renewal of vows CAN be, but it is fundamentally different from a storybook "princess" wedding, and it may be that fairy-tale pretending that the POB and GOG are not thrilled with. I would personally prefer a smaller and more subdued ceremony, maybe even an elopement, followed by one heck of a fine party. The LW doesn't express it well, but I wonder if she is not so much concerned with their sexual and domestic history as the disconnect between that and the BWW Cinderella and Prince event MOG seems fixated on.