When you don't like friends of friends - ? updated post #44

[NyaChan]

Great update

[peach2play]

I'm glad you were able to talk to her! Congrats and good luck!

[portabella]

OP, glad to hear that you and Jenn addressed the problem.

But . . .wouldn't it have been easier to just talk on the phone (instead of all the texting back and forth?)  I know it's after the fact - just sayin'. 

Anyway, sounds like future get-togethers will be more enjoyable!

[Sootikin]

OP, glad to hear that you and Jenn addressed the problem.

But . . .wouldn't it have been easier to just talk on the phone (instead of all the texting back and forth?)  I know it's after the fact - just sayin'. 

Anyway, sounds like future get-togethers will be more enjoyable!

Maybe OP and her friend prefer to talk via text, a lot of people do.

OP I'm glad you got it sorted.

[portabella]

Question was directed to OP.  I was just curious as to why.

[AlansGirl]

Text is Jen's preferred method of communication, not mine, but after trying to talk to her on the phone a time or two, I can tell why.  The 4-year-old wants to take the phone and talk to me, take the phone so I can say hello to the dog, Jeff realizes she's talking to me and remembers something he needs to tell/ask me and tells her to relay it, then asks what I said in return, the older child needs something/is hungry/thirsty - it's a string of constant interruptions and very frustrating for both of us. Now, maybe that's an etiquette problem in itself, but it's reality so we text.

[Sootikin]

Question was directed to OP.  I was just curious as to why.

I know it was, I was giving a fairly obvious and to me, most likely, reason why.

[sourwolf]

Question was directed to OP.  I was just curious as to why.

I know it was, I was giving a fairly obvious and to me, most likely, reason why.

Agreed.  I don't know the last time I talked on the phone when there was a text option (phone, email or smoke signal) available.  While not a true phobia nevertheless my life is much easier if I don't have to spend it on the phone.

[Winterlight]

Text is Jen's preferred method of communication, not mine, but after trying to talk to her on the phone a time or two, I can tell why.  The 4-year-old wants to take the phone and talk to me, take the phone so I can say hello to the dog, Jeff realizes she's talking to me and remembers something he needs to tell/ask me and tells her to relay it, then asks what I said in return, the older child needs something/is hungry/thirsty - it's a string of constant interruptions and very frustrating for both of us. Now, maybe that's an etiquette problem in itself, but it's reality so we text.

I don't think this is wrong- it's more efficient and less irritating.

[NyaChan]

This may be a different issue altogether, but in my circles it is almost seen as being too familiar to call someone rather than text a fellow student or friend if you don't have that established as a form of communication.  It can almost be seen as a sign that the call is a formal thing (about a work or school issue) or a sign that something is wrong/an emergency.  Out of all my friends both here at school and from college and high school (so basically all my friends...), I only speak with 2 of them on the phone.  The rest are text unless it is something complicated that we need to discuss.

[Zilla]

I too love texting rather than talking.  Glad it worked out OP!

[bopper]

When you talk to her in private, you could tell her that you will not harp on this, but that she does not have to put up with the yelling either. She does not have to invite them if she and her DH don't enjoy their company, and if they start arguing, she can tell them that they can call it a night if necessary.

[Van down by the river]

Question was directed to OP.  I was just curious as to why.

I know it was, I was giving a fairly obvious and to me, most likely, reason why.

I know I have a lot of friends that I only communicate through text with. Some have phone issues, with others it's just quicker and easier than trying to find a quiet place/proper time to do so. It a fairly commonplace.

[Margo]

When you talk to her in private, you could tell her that you will not harp on this, but that she does not have to put up with the yelling either. She does not have to invite them if she and her DH don't enjoy their company, and if they start arguing, she can tell them that they can call it a night if necessary.

POD

Now you and she both know that you are on the same page, you could consider whether you want to make a united attempt to address it with the other couple - if you and they are both invited, you can make a polite request to them not to fight, if they start, and Jen can back you up and ask them to leave  / calm down. She may feel much more comfortable challenging them if there is another couple there who she knows will both back her up, and not get judgmental about her trying to addtress the issue.

Obviously you don't have to, but it could be something you could offer Jen, if you feel it is appropriate.