Kids dressed for the weather at an outdoor event

[MissRose]

Background: My mother and I went to a Renaissance Festival recently.  As the weather is gradually going from being summery to fall like, the days can be unpredictable with the temperatures but generally get warm during day then drop in evening.  As I get warm easily, I wore a light wrap with a short sleeve shirt and capris.  My mother who gets cold easily, wore a light wear pair of pants & long sleeved shirt with a zip up hoodie </end background>

As we were waiting to be let in as the fest opened at 10am, a boy about age 12 came with his grandparents who were dressed for weather in layers.  Keep in mind, it is in the 50's Fahrenheit with predicted temps to get to 70-75 at most later in day.  He was wearing short sleeves and complaining about the cold.  My mother said to the kid, don't you have a coat in the car and he said no, and his grandparents said he did not bring one with him.  Of course my mother with her big mouth said if he was my grandson, he would've had something with him whether he wanted to or not. The child's grandfather ended up buying him a hoodie in a booth selling themed merchandise outside the gates which could have not been cheap.

If you were this kid's grandparents, what would you have done?

A. Bought the hoodie, and no consequences for his actions (as I did not overhear them saying he had consequences for not dressing in layers)

B. Bought the hoodie, and let him know he could not have nothing special from the booths inside due to the hoodie cost (as there was a huge variety of items for  in various price ranges for all ages and both genders)

C. Not bought the hoodie, and he would have had to dealt with his failure to bring one until it got warmer outside (that is what I would have done if he was with me as when my sister's kids go with me any distance, they are prepared in terms of their clothing choices before departure)


D. Other (Explain)

[sweetonsno]

At age 12, he's old enough to be prepared or deal with the consequences of his failure to be prepared.

I hope his grandparents didn't get him anything else.

If he were my child, I probably would have given him a choice: he can spend his money on the hoodie now or he can spend it on other things later (fun snacks, other souvenirs, attractions, etc).

[dawbs]

12 is an awkward age for that.

And how much of the fail blame goes where depends on whether this was a day trip to the ren faire or 'spend a weekend w/ grandparents' event--option 2 gives a kid a lot more chances to fail.
It's quite possible, at age 12, a parent is still packing his bag to stay at his grandparent's house...and if a parent forgot, the kid ends up staying for 3 days/the weekend SOL.  (and, depending on the sizes and the family relationships, being at grandparents' house, realizing you don't have anything warm...well, there's not much to do about that.  I'd have grabbed one of my grandpa's coats and he'd have been fine w/ that, but I could't wear my grandma's by that age)

I think my response would depend on whether or not there were other options.  By 12, I was self-packing, but a "do you have something if it gets chilly' would have been a helpful reminder.  (Heck, as an adult, it's possible to forget how fickle the weather is this time of year and I have 30ish autumns worth of weather in my memory.  A 12 year old has about 6 autumns in memory


If the kid was reminded and declined to bring something, I'd let him suffer some consequences (B or C depending on how cold 'cold' was and what the souvenir plan/budget was).

If the kid genuinely forgot as a symptom of being 12...then it would depend a lot on the kid.  (A or B depending on the kid--because there's a huge variation in temperament and irresponsible-ness and family relationships--if it were my kid, probably B.  If it were my niece/nephew, probably A)

[Sophia]

I would have told the kid he had to bring a coat/something warm, but he could leave it in the car until he wanted it. 

Reminds me of an example in the book "Love and Logic for 0-5 year olds".  Toddler doesn't want to wear shoes.  Parent says OK, but you have to bring them.  In the car, toddler says "My feet are cold".  Parent says, "Then put on your shoes."  Toddler, "Oh!" (with the tone of "What a good idea, I hadn't thought of that")

If it were something like they didn't want to change into clothes, so they were wearing their PJ's in public, then my daughter would be wearing PJ's all day.  But, with something that might affect health, I would bend. 

[lmyrs]

It's pretty hard to say since we don't know if the kid simply forgot a coat, refused to bring one or had no warmer clothes at his grandparents' house even if he wanted them. As the kid's grandparents, my action would be based on which of those things had happened. However, regardless of how we came to be in that situation, I wouldn't be very impressed with a stranger putting her nose into my business about it.

[Hmmmmm]

Not enough info.  The GP's just said he didn't bring one with him.  Maybe he didn't have one available to bring as he'd spent the night with his GP's and no one had thought about it being chilly in the morning or that the excursion was a last minute decision.  Or maybe his parent's haven't bought him warmer weather clothes just yet for this new fall season.

If my son has something available, I had suggested he bring something with him and he chose not too, then I wouldn't have bought him anything. 

I'm suprised your mom would say anything to this family.

[Sweettooth]

I'm kind of bad about not checking the weather in the mornings--living in Houston, I just assume it's going to be hot! So sometimes I take the kids out somewhere and am surprised to find it cooler than expected. If I didn't check the weather, I'd feel badly if my girls were cold and would probably buy them something inexpensive.

HOWEVER. If I knew it would be chilly and told them in advance to bring a jacket and they didn't, that would be their problem and I wouldn't buy anything (nor would I loan them my own jacket!).

[JeanFromBNA]

D.  Not bought him anything, and commented frequently how chilly it was right now.

I'm willing to bet that a jacket was suggested by G'ma or G'pa and declined by the 12 year old.  Dressing appropriately for the weather can look so unsophisticated to your peers. 

[Sootikin]

D. Told your mother to mind her own business.

How do you know that the Grandfather didn't intend to buy the kid a hoodie anyway/that the kid had something in the car/he'd spilt something on his jacket already or any other of many reasons he only had a tshirt on.  I don't feel obliged to explain my life or tell the truth to a nosy stranger, and I doubt the boy's grandparents felt they needed to go into detail with your mother.

[Ticia]

This is a parenting/(grandparenting, anyway) issue, not an etiquette one. The only etiquette gaff that I can see is that your mother had no business saying anything to the grandparents. "If he were my grandchild" comes off as pretty judgmental.