My dad has always been quite liberal with handing out "suggestions" to people. I wrote "suggestions" because they are more like commands, especially when given to me or my sister. If we don't take his suggestion, he gets mad and complains that we never want to do anything the "smart" way. I'm 33 now, and I deal with this by not talking to him that much.
Well, that was how I dealt with it before I had a kid. I have a 2yo son, and since I live quite far away from my parents, we skype a lot so the kid can get to know his grandparents. So, the "suggestions" have started up again. I usually ignore them, which is fairly easy to do over skype. But lately, he's really been getting under my skin. The way my dad suggests things, it seems like he thinks I haven't already tried it, or that I'm a complete dunce.
For example, I stupidly mentioned once during a skype call that my son refused to drink milk for the past few weeks. My dad got this expression on his face, one that I am very familiar with. It says "why is my daughter so dumb". He said "Shygirl, you HAVE to make him drink milk." I got angry right away. I asked him if he had any "suggestions" on how to MAKE a toddler drink something he didn't want to. He said "just mix some malt into it so he will drink it". I said "well I ALREADY tried giving him chocolate milk and strawberry milk, and he refused those, so malt is not going to work". He started to say something else, but my mom cut him off saying you can't force toddlers to eat or drink anything they don't want to.
Now, I wouldn't have had an issue if he asked like "well, did you try mixing anything into the milk, like malt?" But, instead, he just assumes that I haven't tried other alternatives. He does with every single suggestion. Just assumes I haven't already tried his suggestion. It is driving me crazy.
My question is, is this my issue to deal with? My dad is not going to change. So, is it worth telling him I'm offended? Lately, whenever he suggests something I've already tried, I say "Why do you think I haven't already tried that?" My dad never has an answer for that, and instead gets "distracted" by something cute the kid does.
PS. I know we could skype less, but I would like my son to get to know and be comfortable with his grandparents. They aren't bad or toxic, just...seem to think that I am not able to take care of myself, much less another human being. And actually, we have been skyping less than usual because my son doesn't seem to enjoy it for that long.