Author Topic: How to thank someone who doesn't want to be thanked?  (Read 3785 times)

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EmmaJ.

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Re: How to thank someone who doesn't want to be thanked?
« Reply #15 on: October 06, 2012, 11:51:01 AM »
She sounds like a wonderful, caring person and you and your family are obviously very important to her.  She feels a need to help, you have a problem and you need that help. 

It wouldn't feel right trying to pay her for helping or trying to return the favor. It somehow cheapens her gift.  Many people find it hard to ask for or accept help, but it would be an act of grace on your part to simply say "Thank you.  I don't know what I would have done without you."


White Lotus

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Re: How to thank someone who doesn't want to be thanked?
« Reply #16 on: October 06, 2012, 11:52:29 AM »
OP could send fruit or flowers with "Thanks from OP and Kidlet" in the card or tag.  Since SIL lives four hours away, a spa day or dinner isn't really practical.  Also be on the lookout for ways to support her and let her participate in Kidlet's life, even if that means Facebook.

Texas Mom

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Re: How to thank someone who doesn't want to be thanked?
« Reply #17 on: October 06, 2012, 03:01:18 PM »
I'm like your SIL and it makes me uncomfortable when someone feels they have to "pay me back" for a kindess or favor. 

Have your son send her a thank you picture.

You will probably have a chance to "return the favor" if/when she needs help in the future.  Wait for that to come and make sure you're there for her.

NutMeg

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Re: How to thank someone who doesn't want to be thanked?
« Reply #18 on: October 07, 2012, 01:35:13 PM »
Don't make it a business transaction. She helped you because she loves you and wants to strengthen the relationship. That is her reward. So show her that reward, by showing her that she is closer to her little nephew. When kids are that young you need to spend time with them frequently in order to develop a relationship, and so having her visit and help out was a way for her to do that.

That's why I like the idea of a photo album, or pictures that your son has drawn. It's not a thank you per say, it's more of a, "You put in some hard work, and now your nephew knows you better."
"You're hostages! This is a life-and-death situation here. Start acting like it! We're your captors. We're armed. There's rules. There's a whole school of etiquette to this!" - Dr. Daniel Jackson                

beakiebean

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Re: How to thank someone who doesn't want to be thanked?
« Reply #19 on: October 10, 2012, 02:24:16 PM »
I don't think a thank you note is odd at all. Just a nice not that says-Hey-thanks so much with all your help while I was broken-you really saved the day and maybe a fun pic or some crafty thing from the kiddo would be sweet without being over the top. It doesn't have to be a fancy, formally worded thank you.